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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

 
 
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Old 03-17-2009, 03:20 PM   #16
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveDallas
I admit I haven't finished the book (yet), but in "The Optimistic Child," psychologist Martin Seligman says that the problem isn't the idea of building self-esteem, but the way it's done. Bad: Tell the kids they're geniuses no matter how bad they screw up. (It doesn't work and they can tell they've screwed up.) Good: Put them in a position where they can actually achieve something or be successful at something.
I read a study awhile back (sorry, I have no cite, I don't even think it was online) that demonstrated how important it was to build self-esteem in the right terms: they took a bunch of ten-year-olds, and gave them a series of increasingly difficult math tests. After each test, they would review the scores individually. For half the kids, they said things like, "You did well! You must be very smart," and the other half they said, "You did well! You must have worked very hard."

The kids who believed they worked hard for their results continued to do relatively well on the harder tests, while the kids who believed they were naturally smart did more poorly on the harder tests.
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