What age do you give up trying to find "fairy tale love"? - Page 2

warch · 11-24-2003, 11:07 AM

Well...That rationalization in place,(and with a track record of longer term struggling relationships, healthy cynicism, and pragmatism), I basically saw my spouse across a crowded room, had a powerful sense of "recognizing" him, went over to introduce myself and within 24 hours we were talking marriage. Now there certainly was lust, I know from lust, this was something more. Go figure.

Whit · 11-24-2003, 01:04 PM

      I've spoken in depth with enough people to not think love is the same for everyone. What we call love varies so much person to person it's insane. For instance, for a lot of people the line between love and hate is thin. They are in 'love', things stop working out, and then they hate the person. I've been in love a couple of times and can't bring myself to hate either woman, no matter what they've done to deserve it. To show extreme this includes trying to give my newborn son away to strangers neither of us knew, who had been turned down by state adoption services. Yet, still no hate in me for that one. The other has put me through all kinds of crap as well, I've never so much as called her a "bitch."
      My point? What kind of love each person is looking for is different. Figuring out what you need from your prospective love interest would make being happy much easier. If what you want is the heat of early relationships, don't have long-term ones. That simple. Of course, I'm a loner by nature that's never really looked for a relationship. I just take 'em when they show up. So what do I know?

OnyxCougar · 11-25-2003, 08:05 PM

I don't think there is one person out there that is perfect for you, because people change over time. Someone who is perfect for you at age 18 may not be the one that is perfect for you at age 30. Every "serious" relationship that you have, I think, is more of a learning lesson than anything else. I was convinced that this guy was "The One" and I fought so hard to get him, only to be met with resistance at every turn. Finally I let him go (after a HUGE drama) and Steve fell into my sphere. There was no question for either of us that getting married was the right thing to do. I just hope that we change and evolve together, because I really like this one.

[thread hijack]On a side note, I have decided not to leave the Cellar, mostly due to Bruce's pep talk. I just need lessons in thickening up the skin and not caring about people that don't care about me.[/thread hijack]

xoxoxoBruce · 11-25-2003, 08:39 PM

Welcome back.

11-24-2003, 01:04 PM	#17
Whit Umm ... yeah. Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Arkansas, USA Posts: 949	I've spoken in depth with enough people to not think love is the same for everyone. What we call love varies so much person to person it's insane. For instance, for a lot of people the line between love and hate is thin. They are in 'love', things stop working out, and then they hate the person. I've been in love a couple of times and can't bring myself to hate either woman, no matter what they've done to deserve it. To show extreme this includes trying to give my newborn son away to strangers neither of us knew, who had been turned down by state adoption services. Yet, still no hate in me for that one. The other has put me through all kinds of crap as well, I've never so much as called her a "bitch."       My point? What kind of love each person is looking for is different. Figuring out what you need from your prospective love interest would make being happy much easier. If what you want is the heat of early relationships, don't have long-term ones. That simple. Of course, I'm a loner by nature that's never really looked for a relationship. I just take 'em when they show up. So what do I know? __________________ A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.

11-25-2003, 08:39 PM	#19
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Welcome back. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-24-2003, 11:07 AM	#16
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Well...That rationalization in place,(and with a track record of longer term struggling relationships, healthy cynicism, and pragmatism), I basically saw my spouse across a crowded room, had a powerful sense of "recognizing" him, went over to introduce myself and within 24 hours we were talking marriage. Now there certainly was lust, I know from lust, this was something more. Go figure.

11-25-2003, 08:05 PM	#18
OnyxCougar Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kingdom of Atlantia Posts: 2,979	I don't think there is one person out there that is perfect for you, because people change over time. Someone who is perfect for you at age 18 may not be the one that is perfect for you at age 30. Every "serious" relationship that you have, I think, is more of a learning lesson than anything else. I was convinced that this guy was "The One" and I fought so hard to get him, only to be met with resistance at every turn. Finally I let him go (after a HUGE drama) and Steve fell into my sphere. There was no question for either of us that getting married was the right thing to do. I just hope that we change and evolve together, because I really like this one. [thread hijack]On a side note, I have decided not to leave the Cellar, mostly due to Bruce's pep talk. I just need lessons in thickening up the skin and not caring about people that don't care about me.[/thread hijack]

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