Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 220

Undertoad · 03-01-2010, 12:44 PM

That's funny.

SteveDallas · 03-01-2010, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

This is not to say that I approve of mistreatment of toranokazes. I'm just saying that toranokazes aren't like people. At all.

I think the most important consideration is how the toranokazes were going to be used. Taxidermy student practice? Food? Leather? Fur?

classicman · 03-01-2010, 02:30 PM

.

classicman · 03-01-2010, 02:35 PM

. . . answers

glatt · 03-01-2010, 02:43 PM

That's good! Of course, for question 2, the following answer is also acceptable.

Pie · 03-01-2010, 02:51 PM

or this?

Undertoad · 03-01-2010, 02:53 PM

classicman · 03-01-2010, 02:55 PM

lol - I knew you guys would come up with some alternate ones.

lumberjim · 03-01-2010, 02:58 PM

that's what I thought of too, pie

classicman · 03-01-2010, 03:03 PM

You do it in the corner and only use 2 lines.

Happy Monkey · 03-01-2010, 03:15 PM

Draw "a rectangle" with three lines

Pie · 03-01-2010, 03:37 PM

God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go.
“Why not go to Jupiter?” asked St. Peter.
“No, too much gravity, too much stomping around,” said God.
“Well, how about Mercury?”
“No, it’s too hot there.”
“Okay,” said St. Peter, “what about Earth?”
“No,” said God, “They’re such horrible gossips. When I was there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they’re still talking about it.”

Shawnee123 · 03-03-2010, 12:07 PM

Got in an email:

Recently, in a large city in France , a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you
want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby
whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like
Patagonia , the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures
and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT?
Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my
kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.So we aren't heavy, we are
enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨

Pete Zicato · 03-03-2010, 12:12 PM

Smart is the new gorgeous.

squirell nutkin · 03-03-2010, 01:39 PM

Smart has always been hot. Especially with glasses.

03-01-2010, 02:30 PM	#3288
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	. Attached Images __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-01-2010, 02:35 PM	#3289
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	. . . answers Attached Images __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-01-2010, 02:43 PM	#3290
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	That's good! Of course, for question 2, the following answer is also acceptable. Attached Images

03-01-2010, 02:51 PM	#3291
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	or this? Attached Images __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

03-01-2010, 02:55 PM	#3293
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	lol - I knew you guys would come up with some alternate ones. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-01-2010, 12:44 PM	#3286
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	That's funny.

03-01-2010, 02:53 PM	#3292
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423

03-01-2010, 02:58 PM	#3294
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	that's what I thought of too, pie __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

03-01-2010, 03:03 PM	#3295
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	You do it in the corner and only use 2 lines. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-01-2010, 03:15 PM	#3296
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	Draw "a rectangle" with three lines Attached Images __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

03-01-2010, 03:37 PM	#3297
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go. “Why not go to Jupiter?” asked St. Peter. “No, too much gravity, too much stomping around,” said God. “Well, how about Mercury?” “No, it’s too hot there.” “Okay,” said St. Peter, “what about Earth?” “No,” said God, “They’re such horrible gossips. When I was there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they’re still talking about it.” __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

03-03-2010, 12:07 PM	#3298
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Got in an email: Recently, in a large city in France , a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?" A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym. To Whom It May Concern, Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia , the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world. Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale. P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨ __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby Last edited by Shawnee123; 03-03-2010 at 12:15 PM.

03-03-2010, 12:12 PM	#3299
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Smart is the new gorgeous. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

03-03-2010, 01:39 PM	#3300
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	Smart has always been hot. Especially with glasses. __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

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