Ouija for 11-Year olds?

[Flint]

That girl will make alot of money, later on, though. Have you ever had spinning head?

[HungLikeJesus]

I'm wondering how many Cellar people were brought up this way - were your parents so involved in running your life as to tell you what to do and what not to do? Especially for something so minuscule as to direct what games you could play, what books you could read, what movies you could watch, who you could be friends with, when you had to be home, and so on?

That just seems like extreme micromanaging to me.

[classicman]

I had a curfew, was supposed to only go to PG or G rated movies and there were very clear boundaries as to acceptable speech and behaviors - Yup, Abso-fuckin-lutely!

[Flint]

Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus

That just seems like extreme micromanaging to me.

And an excellent way to make sure your kids never learn anything.
Until they go to college and start injecting coke directly into their wang.

[Pie]

Somethings were unbelievably strict (my curfew was 6pm), and others were very permissive (read any book I wanted to, no problem with bbses, etc.)
Generally, they wanted to protect me from people (especially boys!) and not from information.

[monster]

Hmmm, interesting. thanks all so far.

So here's the deal..... i was working in the thrift store when a 1970s ouija board came in. I have a friend totally redoing her 1972 house in 1970s style. so it's a given I was going to buy it.

Now we were brought up in traditional UK style of Ouija = unknown devil worshipping thingy = bad and IIRC, I've never even seen a board IRL before. but we're unsupersticious atheists and i remembered that I'd seen it described as the "perfect sleepover game" somewhere, so i asked the assistant manager what she thought (she has a slightly older daughter and she said "perfect". Hebe saw it and was all like () "awesome, can we play it at my party?... so i asked beest and he was all like "eeek ouja bad, no wait, it's nonsense, but people will burn crosses on our lawn.....

so I asked you lot. seeing as most of you are American so have a better idea of how it's perceived over here.

[Pie]

So, what's the verdict?

[classicman]

Its a kids game and no more. Do it!

[monster]

Dunno, I have more pressing decisions to make. probably to ask parents as kids arrive, alongside the movie rating thing. or -given one set of parents- we might not bother and just site them all down in front of teletubbies. ...oh wait, no! There's Tinky Winky to consider....

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus

I'm wondering how many Cellar people were brought up this way - were your parents so involved in running your life as to tell you what to do and what not to do? Especially for something so minuscule as to direct what games you could play, what books you could read, what movies you could watch, who you could be friends with, when you had to be home, and so on?

That just seems like extreme micromanaging to me.

Parenting a baby is 100% micromanaging, and that number ideally approaches zero by the time the kid is 18. But the whole time in between is a gray area that is going to involve a certain amount of restrictions on all the things you mentioned. Do you feel an 8-year-old should be able to go out at night as they please? Should a 4-year-old thumb through an incredibly violent and bloody graphic novel? The restrictions come down one by one over the years, but everything has to be tailored to the specific child. There was, for example, a television show just recently that we told the older kids they weren't allowed to watch, but not because we think we can keep them from the content--it's because those specific children have a problem with emulating what they see on TV. We have made it clear to them that when their behavior is not a problem, then we will know they are responsible enough to watch the show. In my opinion, they are too old to be acting the way they are, and it disappoints me to have to micromanage them in this particular way, but evidence has shown it's still necessary.

That kind of encapsulates what I grew up with, and what I try to practice with my children: you get as much responsibility as you can handle, and not more or less. Throwing them in the deep end to fend for themselves is just as irresponsible as fiercely sheltering them--in the Ouija board case, for example, if a child had shown a previous inability to handle "scary" things (say, having nightmares for days following a moderately suspenseful movie, or genuinely believing in ghosts or monsters,) then I would be hesitant to let them play. Not because it's "bad," but because that particular kid isn't ready for it.

[monster]

Is a ouija board "scary" though? or only if you tell them it is? how many 11-year-olds have been told it is a scary thing?

[Clodfobble]

*shrug* You "contact ghosts" with it, right? That's what we did with it when we were kids. I certainly would hope that my kid would have a better head on their shoulders by that age than to be scared of that sort of thing, but just earlier in this thread there were several people who mentioned being terrified of their first experiences with it.

[Beest]

I am a scientist, engineer and an atheist, I don't believe that people have a soul so logically there can't be ghosts or heaven or hell etc.

but...

I have just have a gut feeling that says no,
we did do it when I was a kid, and got messages.

At the very least it just seems dumb as a party game.

[DanaC]

My friends and I used to play with ouija boards when I was at sixth form college. We did it most lunchtimes for about two months. We revelled in it and scared the shit out of ourselves regularly. One time, I ended up half convinced that an evil spirit (named Red) had followed me home (mum was away so I was alone in the house). That was less fun :P

In terms of childhood limitations, there weren't many that I recall. I had strict limits on how far I was allowed to stray from the house, and mum was never happy with me going off to fairgrounds with my friends (she had a fear of fairground abductions). But beyond that not much at all. I suppose there were a couple of tv programmes they didn't want me watching, but none that I wanted to see.

Books were pretty much ok. I only recall one time when mum didn't want me reading a book which had done the rounds of Dad my big brother and her. I was 12 at the time and the book was about a woman who'd been severely abused and developed a split personality (it was also made into a rather shocking film).

Telling me that the book was too old for me and that I wasn't allowed to read it was basically a guarantee that I would :P I waited until I had the house to myself for the afternoon, stole the book from mum's room (she was half way through it at the time) and read it in one session. It was brilliant, it totally gripped me and didn't disturb me. I still recall the feeling of slightly naughty luxury as I lay on our new sofa reading a forbidden book, my bare feet touching the velvety smooth velour. Yey. Must have got through a whole box of Rice Krispies as I read

I don't recall any other obvious examples. I daresay there were tv programmes that were switched over without me being aware at the time, and no doubt subjects that weren't discussed when i was there; but it was done with enough subtlety that I didn't notice. More noticable was the embarrassment factor of anything remotely sexual coming on tv when dad was in the room lol. But that was a wider family thing, rather than just me.

eta: It was a true story. The film was called Cybil but I can't recal if the book was also.

[skysidhe]

You mean I could have been playing Apples to Apples instead of the Ouija! I feel so cheated.

j/k but The Apples game does sound fun indeed!