poll: group sex

[elf]

G'morning, folks.

The three of us live and sleep and have sex together - and she's on the Depo thingy, so we're not synchronized.

I'd realized a long time ago that I have a bit of a quirk, you might say. . . I don't feel jealous about him having sex with another woman. At All. We'd gone through a phase of experimentation, and I'd had a liason (he does feel jealous when I'm with another man - but not unbearably so), and another time when he had gone off to play with a girlfriend. I mulled it over in my head for awhile, wondering why I didn't feel jealous. I knew the girl he was going with, and like her very much - but she's pretty much straight. It took me a little while to grasp the fact that no, I truly was not jealous - and that while it probably isn't 'normal', it's OK.

In typing that out, I do still feel a little odd about it. The little green monster is in hiding, no matter how I poke and prod him.


Catwoman - I wish I were more eloquent, I could tell you what it's like, but I'm not. . . I think to sum up, I could tell you that two woman vs. hetero sex is a lot more balanced - turn-taking and (in my experience) a lot more giving than receiving on both parts.

[Catwoman]

phillybilly: My wife also likes (as you also said) to watch me jerkoff, not to finish, but as a part of foreplay...I LOVE watching a women masturbate, so I guess it goes hand-in-hand.

I love that too. If I say 'you're not allowed to touch me, just watch' while I play with myself, it drives him wild, and I get to do exactly what I want, which is such a turn on.

I'd agree, women are softer, I have kissed a few women and got kinda close with another, and it was very gentle, yes - soft is probably the right word, but never got to see how good it could be.

Elf how do you manage not getting jealous? I am quite a jealous person when in a relationship, I wish I wasn't, do you have any tips?

[phillybilly]

In regard to my wife being with others,

I don't feel jealous when my wife is with another women, since it happens either with my knowledge or I am present.

She has not been with another guy, but she HAS been talking about maybe a threesome that way, she saw a few 'special' movies I have :p that feature a few DP sessions. She has expressed interest in MAYBE that, but were not sure yet....Not sure how jealous I would get if she's with another guy, although she's cool with me beign with a women, as long as she's there.

She loves to play with herself while I'm having my debasing fun with another chick. She also likes me to spank it while they go down on each other. Guys, your chick, other hot chick, 69...better get ready to clean the ceiling!!!


Later

[elf]

Catwoman -

I'm pretty sure it's just my nature - I get jealous about time more than anything else. If work keeps the hubby away, I get all grumpy and belligerent and snippety. If I could change that, I would in a heartbeat. But there's no helping it at all.



------------------------------------------------------
s.o.c.k.s.
It is what it is.
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[OnyxCougar]

I have done the threesome thing quite a few times, but it was all girl girl guy. I found out that if I had an emotional attachment to the male, I got all jealous, but if I had an attachment to the female, there were no problems in the jealousy department. I still don't understand WHY that is. In my monogamous (sp) relationships with women, I was never jealous if a male made advances, but went crazy when she gave attention to another female. *shrugs*

[ladysycamore]

Originally posted by phillybilly
What is you favorite sexual position???

Guys: Do you like going down on your women?? Would you rather have sex or a BJ???

Women: Do you like giving a BJ, or is is something you tolorate?? What do women think about Anal sex???

LOL Good God this thread!

Welllll...let's just say that I won't turn down the opportunity to give some head. There's an element of power that's great for the ego..LOL! Anal...not happening. That's strictly an "exit" hole no entry allowed (unless it's a well gloved and lubed finger of a medical professional..which I had to have done once...highly uncomfortable. It was just a finger so no WAY is a penis getting up there!).

As far as the orgy thing goes (and threesomes, foursomes, etc.), that ain't happening either. I'm stingy, and I don't like sharing...seriously. I like having Syc allll to myself (smile honey!)

And Jim: All you have to do is watch "Real Sex" on HBO, and see that those things (and many other situations) happen, and more often than people think. I love that show, because it shows real people in sexual situations, not perfect looking models with bodies they probably paid for.

[hot_pastrami]

Well, since we're all having such a nice sharing time... I never did try the group thing, although there was a moment when I am pretty confident I could have, if I'd just taken a not-so-subtle hint. Two girls... my girlfriend at the time, and her best friend.

I played dumb rather than acknowledging the thinly veiled offer, largely because I didn't want to add complexity to a relationship already tangled with strangeness (she was a thirty-something Russian girl whose English was not great, I was in my low twenties and spoke no Russian... yada yada yada), but also because, despite a healthy curiosity, group sex was never my cup of tea. I'm definitely a one-woman man, and anything else feels unnatural.

So, an opportunity came and went, but no regrets.

[Elspode]

Originally posted by hot_pastrami
I'm definitely a one-woman man, and anything else feels unnatural.

Well, heck...you say that like unnatural is a bad thing!

[phillybilly]

generally if it feels un-natural, then it must feel good.....


You remember 'If you keep doing that you'll go blind'!!


We we did and we didn't (for the most part I guess )


So Threesome, not so sure i would call it un-natural, but different. And no, it isn't for everyone.....


Later

[Happy Monkey]

[phillybilly]

Originally posted by elf
G'morning, folks.

The three of us live and sleep and have sex together - and she's on the Depo thingy, so we're not synchronized.

I'd realized a long time ago that I have a bit of a quirk, you might say. . . I don't feel jealous about him having sex with another woman. At All. We'd gone through a phase of experimentation, and I'd had a liason (he does feel jealous when I'm with another man - but not unbearably so), and another time when he had gone off to play with a girlfriend. I mulled it over in my head for awhile, wondering why I didn't feel jealous. I knew the girl he was going with, and like her very much - but she's pretty much straight. It took me a little while to grasp the fact that no, I truly was not jealous - and that while it probably isn't 'normal', it's OK.

In typing that out, I do still feel a little odd about it. The little green monster is in hiding, no matter how I poke and prod him.


Catwoman - I wish I were more eloquent, I could tell you what it's like, but I'm not. . . I think to sum up, I could tell you that two woman vs. hetero sex is a lot more balanced - turn-taking and (in my experience) a lot more giving than receiving on both parts.

I am not in the least jealous when my wife want's indulge in some girl-girl love, usually I'm there so how could I be.....As far as other guys??

My wife has been hinting that maybe in the future she maybe want to incorporate another guy....but as she puts it 'I don't want to get stuck doing a lot of work'.......so I'm not sure how jealous I may be???

My wife say's almost the same thing you said about sex with another women, they know the exact place to touch and button to push, although during sex my wife does guide me to what feels good and what doesn't well feel at all.....so that is a BIG help.....just from her reactions I think I've given her some orgasms to rival her female partners

gotta love a good three-way.....like I said if it feels un-natural, it must feel good then



Later

[Sun_Sparkz]

Elf,

how do you think the relationship that your husband and you have with this other woman must effect her? I mean, you and your husband are MARRRIED, a lifelong loving commitment. Whereas she is just some chick that you have moved in with for a while.. does she feel jelous of your marraige at all? how long do you expect this all to last?

when you and your husband go out for a romantic date, or to visit the relatives... does she tag a long too?

Its a very intreguing situation that you have there!

[elf]

I was apprehensive at first for just that reason. . . the hubby and I have been together for more than a decade, we've got all those set patterns and understanding of each other's motivations and suchnot, and perhaps that's adding to the fact that this whole thing isn't working out. She's not jealous of the marriage, and as far as I know, she's perfectly content just being with us. But I know that whatever happens, he and I will still be us, and if we go our seperate ways, she'll be the one 'out' so to speak. She'd been in a similar situation in the past and feels comfortable in finding a niche within our family circle. . .

I don't know if I could put myself into that situation, I would probably feel off-kilter coming into an established relationship, but everyone's different.

As far as romantic evenings, it's always a trio.

We figured to let our families know that we've got a close friend living with us and keep all the 'sordid' details to ourselves. There's no need to stress the old folks, dontchyaknow. The only ones that know the reality of it are my mother and siblings, for the most part. The stickiness of the extended family thing is buffered by the distance - we'd moved out to CO from NY to be with her. 1800 miles sure does make it easy.

It's kind of sad, but I don't think that it's going to last all that much longer. We've become a tad in debt to her while my hubby was regaining his feet in the workplace after recovering from a heart condition (long story). . . I've kind of decided that once we get her back on solid ground financially, we're going to move on. That is, if things don't shift for the better.

We'll stay in CO, though. I kinda like it here.

[Sun_Sparkz]

Elf,

Wow, you must be a very self confident person to be able to live in such an environment and not become jelous, or feel insecure about it. Just being able to cope with the alternative living arrangements so well is a huge achievement to you as an individual person!

May i ask though, does your husband ever just spend time alone with you to make you feel special? or time alone with her, or do you and her?

I think this would be MY biggest concern in such an arrangement, i mean for me, the best times in a relationship are when you are alone, close and face to face intimate and relaxing with someone you love. Like sleeping in on a sunday and chatting and just staring at each other etc. I imagine it would be hard to do this if there are three in the bed.

I mean threesomes and all that extra fun stuff is all good but when it comes down to being in love, and having those 'couple' moments - how do you do it? and how do you cope when he is off giving her one of those moments, or vice versa?

[elf]

Confident? Sometimes. . . I'm more secure than anything else. I think that if anything ever did tear my marriage up, I would fall over and die purely from shock.

As for achievement, I don't really see it that way - S.O.C.K.S., as I like to say (which is phonetically spelled 'it is what it is' in Spanish).

There's times where there's 'couples' going on - say if I'm at work and their schedules have them home at the same time, or sometimes one pair of us or another will find the time to do lunch, that sort of thing. More often than not, there's at least two of us available to do something on a weekend or in the evenings. When all three of us aren't busy, we try to go and do something.

Three people lazing in bed on a sunday morning is just the same as two, only moreso - 'cept for the gazing-into-each-other's-eyes thing - you'd have to go cross-eyed!

All in all, it can be comfortable and secure - there's no need for 'coping' when the others are doing something - sometimes it's nice to have some alone-time. Of course, if any one of us were a jealous person by nature, it wouldn't work very well at all. He's got a little bit of an advantage, though, because he's the only male involved. To him, the relationship between she and I is completely different than his and mine. I would be happier if she and I could be closer, but somehow, it's not working right, and there's a limit to how much time she and I want to spend together... thus the feeling that it's not going to be a long-term thing.

Edit: S.O.C.K.S. is not a translation, it's a pronunciation! Eso si que es! {/dork}