My friend with breast cancer - Page 6

capnhowdy · 09-14-2009, 07:15 AM

My Sister in Law went to the hospital in Savannah this morning at 730 AM for a double mastectomy. I got the voice mail from my Mom early this AM. I didn't know anything about it. My Bro and his family are very private and secretive when it comes to things like this.

monster · 09-14-2009, 08:49 AM

Don't call them. I'm emotional yoyoing on it now. Last chemo is tomorrow, her hubby is telling people he thinks she should have told and they're calling her and being emotional and she really doesn't need that right now. Hubby means well but just doesn't get it.

capnhowdy · 09-14-2009, 11:28 AM

My mom is keeping me posted. I'm waiting to hear if it has gotten into here lymph nodes.

monster · 09-14-2009, 07:52 PM

they should know that before the surgery!

Good call to keep updated indirectly

capnhowdy · 09-15-2009, 07:08 AM

Surgery went well. No massive negatives on the lymph nodes. Prognosis: better than average.

We'll see.

monster · 09-15-2009, 09:20 AM

excellent news

monster · 09-15-2009, 09:20 AM

(average prognosis is pretty good compared to other types of cancer)

Sundae · 09-16-2009, 12:45 PM

Mum in pain (guide wires inserted this afternoon for surgery tomorrow) but didn't ask what painkillers she could take. Sigh. "I can put up with a bit of pain," she says. I felt like telling her there were no prizes, but it sounded too cruel even in my head.

Mum having sushi for the first time:

Sundae · 09-17-2009, 12:28 PM

Mum's just called Dad.
She's out of the operation (obviously!) and come round from the anaesthetic.
But Dads says she's still sounding very groggy, and told him not to come until he hears from the hospital, even though it's a 45 minute drive.
There is a possibility she will be kept in overnight.

Part of me hopes she will - she's going to have a rotten night anyway, better she's in hospital surroundings, so that she appreciates home better tomorrow. If her most difficult night is spent there, there will be more of a sense of of happiness/ release/ comfort when she comes back. And more importantly she'll be in the best place for her medically, even though I understand this is counted as a routine operation.

Dad has put his pie in the oven. That means he's not expecting to go anywhere for an hour at least. He loves Mum completely, but you don't come between a British man and his pie.

He called her "darling" on the phone. It choked me up. I know they love eachother, but I don't often hear those little endearments. When I heard him say, "Don't worry, just call me when you're ready, darling" I wobbled a bit.

Sundae · 09-17-2009, 02:18 PM

She's coming home.
Dads has left for High Wycombe.
I expect she'll be home by 22.00 at the latest, depends on traffic.

Queen of the Ryche · 09-17-2009, 03:10 PM

Gentle hugs to Sundae mom.

Sundae · 09-17-2009, 04:16 PM

Thanks QotR. She's back home now.

With no wooziness I can determine!
Have texted my sibs, and kept the boobie-oriented-Diz-cat away from her fun-bags.

Doc says the pain might kick in in a couple days time, and not to worry.
I'm more concerned that she has been given codeine as a painkiller. Luckily, thanks to my guinea pig qualities, she knows if she vomits up everything indcluding water every 20 minutes, then codeine sensitivity is hereditary. Something I wish I'd found out four days sooner...

I might even get some good bruise pics in a few days time. I'm gonna do as much cooking, ironing and hoovering as I can in the mean time. There's only one of those I hate after all.

Clodfobble · 09-17-2009, 04:33 PM

You're a good daughter, SG. I'm sure your mom will be happy to have you taking care of her, even if she's grumpy from the pain.

Sundae · 09-19-2009, 06:34 AM

She deals with pain very well. Whatever gripes I occasionally have with Mum, I will always admit she is a very strong and rational woman.

While I was ironing this morning (I asked her if she wanted to take a picture and made her laugh) she told me that she broke down last night when she took the dressing off. It was the first time she's seen how much had been removed. And also, without her bra, ahe could see the difference in how her breasts sat - the one that's had the surgery now sits much higher, but the cup is obviously less full.

I listened and tried to understand, which is all I can do really.

She's pragmatic and will deal with it, but it was sad to hear.

capnhowdy · 09-19-2009, 08:16 AM

I still haven't talked to my SIL. We have never been very close and I really wouldn't know what to say. My brother has always been so obscure I'm afraid anything I say to him would be prying.
Throughout the whole process of the illness and death of my wife, he and I never talked about it. That's just always been the way it was between the men in my family. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not.

09-14-2009, 07:15 AM	#76
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	My Sister in Law went to the hospital in Savannah this morning at 730 AM for a double mastectomy. I got the voice mail from my Mom early this AM. I didn't know anything about it. My Bro and his family are very private and secretive when it comes to things like this. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

09-14-2009, 08:49 AM	#77
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Don't call them. I'm emotional yoyoing on it now. Last chemo is tomorrow, her hubby is telling people he thinks she should have told and they're calling her and being emotional and she really doesn't need that right now. Hubby means well but just doesn't get it. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-14-2009, 11:28 AM	#78
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	My mom is keeping me posted. I'm waiting to hear if it has gotten into here lymph nodes. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

09-14-2009, 07:52 PM	#79
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	they should know that before the surgery! Good call to keep updated indirectly __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-15-2009, 07:08 AM	#80
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Surgery went well. No massive negatives on the lymph nodes. Prognosis: better than average. We'll see. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

09-15-2009, 09:20 AM	#81
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	excellent news __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-16-2009, 12:45 PM	#83
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Mum in pain (guide wires inserted this afternoon for surgery tomorrow) but didn't ask what painkillers she could take. Sigh. "I can put up with a bit of pain," she says. I felt like telling her there were no prizes, but it sounded too cruel even in my head. Mum having sushi for the first time: Attached Images __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-17-2009, 12:28 PM	#84
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Mum's just called Dad. She's out of the operation (obviously!) and come round from the anaesthetic. But Dads says she's still sounding very groggy, and told him not to come until he hears from the hospital, even though it's a 45 minute drive. There is a possibility she will be kept in overnight. Part of me hopes she will - she's going to have a rotten night anyway, better she's in hospital surroundings, so that she appreciates home better tomorrow. If her most difficult night is spent there, there will be more of a sense of of happiness/ release/ comfort when she comes back. And more importantly she'll be in the best place for her medically, even though I understand this is counted as a routine operation. Dad has put his pie in the oven. That means he's not expecting to go anywhere for an hour at least. He loves Mum completely, but you don't come between a British man and his pie. He called her "darling" on the phone. It choked me up. I know they love eachother, but I don't often hear those little endearments. When I heard him say, "Don't worry, just call me when you're ready, darling" I wobbled a bit. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-17-2009, 02:18 PM	#85
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	She's coming home. Dads has left for High Wycombe. I expect she'll be home by 22.00 at the latest, depends on traffic. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-17-2009, 03:10 PM	#86
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	Gentle hugs to Sundae mom. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

09-17-2009, 04:16 PM	#87
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Thanks QotR. She's back home now. With no wooziness I can determine! Have texted my sibs, and kept the boobie-oriented-Diz-cat away from her fun-bags. Doc says the pain might kick in in a couple days time, and not to worry. I'm more concerned that she has been given codeine as a painkiller. Luckily, thanks to my guinea pig qualities, she knows if she vomits up everything indcluding water every 20 minutes, then codeine sensitivity is hereditary. Something I wish I'd found out four days sooner... I might even get some good bruise pics in a few days time. I'm gonna do as much cooking, ironing and hoovering as I can in the mean time. There's only one of those I hate after all. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-17-2009, 04:33 PM	#88
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	You're a good daughter, SG. I'm sure your mom will be happy to have you taking care of her, even if she's grumpy from the pain. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

09-19-2009, 06:34 AM	#89
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	She deals with pain *very* well. Whatever gripes I occasionally have with Mum, I will always admit she is a very strong and rational woman. While I was ironing this morning (I asked her if she wanted to take a picture and made her laugh) she told me that she broke down last night when she took the dressing off. It was the first time she's seen how much had been removed. And also, without her bra, ahe could see the difference in how her breasts sat - the one that's had the surgery now sits much higher, but the cup is obviously less full. I listened and tried to understand, which is all I can do really. She's pragmatic and will deal with it, but it was sad to hear. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-19-2009, 08:16 AM	#90
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	I still haven't talked to my SIL. We have never been very close and I really wouldn't know what to say. My brother has always been so obscure I'm afraid anything I say to him would be prying. Throughout the whole process of the illness and death of my wife, he and I never talked about it. That's just always been the way it was between the men in my family. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

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