07-26-2010, 03:46 PM | #106 |
Slattern of the Swail
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 15,654
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I second pooka's post.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum |
07-26-2010, 03:48 PM | #107 |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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Sorry Jinx. I know how effed up this type of thing can be.
All I can offer at the moment is to try and let the dust settle a bit and not make any rash decisions just yet. Let the dust settle...
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
07-26-2010, 03:59 PM | #108 | |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Quote:
I will change. I'm sorry about what I said to the kids. I told them that as soon as you were ready to let me back in, I was there. I did not think of the position it puts you in with them. I was trying to assure them that I was working hard to get back with you. mea culpa.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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07-26-2010, 04:20 PM | #109 |
™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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It's not all on you, jinx.
I don't have any sage advice for you guys, but I'm rooting for you both. There's got to be a middle way. People generally lie when they are trying to avoid "punishment" for something. They don't want to get in trouble, so they lie to avoid it. Take away the punishment, and you take away the motivation for lying. At the same time, structuring your lives differently so that the bad behavior is less of an option should reduce incidents of it. If it's money, taking control of the finances. If it's something else, there may be other things you guys can do. Of course, saying to him he won't get in trouble when he's doing whatever he's doing assumes that the behavior is something you can live with when it does happen. If the bad behavior is a deal breaker, then it's not going to work. I'm on the outside, so I have no idea what you guys are dealing with. But you can probably find a middle way if you look for it. |
07-26-2010, 04:22 PM | #110 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I feel very bad about this whole thread.
I wanted to share my failure so I could identify what I've done wrong, and work on fixing it. I did not intend to position jinx in a way that this is all her fault for throwing me out.... which is how it seems. I did not intend to use the kids to pressure her. not consciously... that's horrible. I need to stop posting in this thread now. I just keep doing more damage to a very fragile thing.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
07-26-2010, 04:31 PM | #111 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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That's not the impression that I got. What Jinx added (and thank you, Jinx, as we all gain from it) is pretty much what I assumed, after hearing your story of it. It never seemed all on her. It seemed, and it still seems, like the kind of dance that all deep relationships go through.
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07-26-2010, 04:36 PM | #112 |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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I agree with UT.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
07-26-2010, 04:41 PM | #113 |
changed his status to single
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Right behind you. No, the other side.
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Iagree with UT. This may also be a great place to put [/thread] at least temporarily.
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Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin |
07-26-2010, 04:47 PM | #114 |
Are you knock-kneed?
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Middle Hoosierland
Posts: 3,549
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They both are in a very difficult place right now, but on opposite ends of the spectrum. As a wife and mother who is laying down the law to protect herself and her children, Jinx's position is extremely challenging. Her position is righteous but also wrought with guilt. My mother did the same thing.
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07-26-2010, 04:49 PM | #115 |
Your Invisible Rabbit Friend
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Betwixt and Between
Posts: 528
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I agree with UT. I never took it in any way that LJ was putting it on Jinx... more that he was confessing his short comings and wanting to correct the problems he has and has created... and most importantly his desire to repair the relationship.
I think most of us have been there... on both sides. But most importantly we are all here supporting you both... as individuals and as a couple. |
07-26-2010, 05:28 PM | #116 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
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I sense the LJ and Pooka need to take this private.
In any case, I won't be reading this thread any more. Best wishes to both and their family. |
07-26-2010, 05:35 PM | #117 |
Your Invisible Rabbit Friend
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Betwixt and Between
Posts: 528
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I think you meant LJ and Jinx... I am married to Flint and we are all good for the now... thank you though.
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07-26-2010, 05:44 PM | #118 | |
Encroaching on your decrees
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Quote:
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07-26-2010, 06:25 PM | #119 | |
Come on, cat.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area
Posts: 7,013
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Quote:
Right now, from my perspective, Jim does want to be in trouble. He wants me to act like a mom to him. We've discussed this, and that I'm not into it several times. Any action can, and has been, taken to the deal breaker level if one tries hard enough - that's the reason I stepped in to steer the help towards the problem and not the specific actions. I'd like to figure out the motivation for the deal breaking shit. The obvious one is that one wants out of the relationship. If that's not it, then what?
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07-26-2010, 06:45 PM | #120 |
Come on, cat.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area
Posts: 7,013
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And I'm sorry, I'm not normally a 'dirty laundry' type person. It makes me uncomfortable too.
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Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good. |
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