Why I Would Prefer Not to Have Neighbors

wolf · 01-05-2006, 01:30 AM

Because skirmishes in a neighbor war suck.

I have been living in my apartment complex for 11 or maybe 12 years. I previously lived in a different unit in the complex for 4 years.

I have neighbors who moved in last summer. Two young men, probably in their 30s. I do not know if they are a couple or merely roommates.

They do not seem to have any female friends, but that's not important right now.

These neighbors (immediate next door, step-sharing neighbors, which is what makes them extra-horrendous) are not good neighbors.

One of their first actions on moving in was to cut about half of the branches off the willow tree that stands behind my back patio (not theirs) because the droopyness inconvenienced them.

They have exceptionally loud parties. They like house and trance music. They turn it up to 11. At 3AM. They also turn it up to 11 before midnight, but up until then I have a higher tolerance level. My television also has a volume button.

They had a drunken party on Halloween night and smashed pumpkins against the wall and door of my unit. They were, to be fair, their own pumpkins.

Tonight, however, takes the fucking cake.

I do not have direct evidence of their involvement. Just a suspicion. And a reasonably good one according to the very nice Sergeant of my local police department who came to my residence.

As I came in the door tonight, I unlocked it and then went to turn the knob, and came away with a handful of whitish, creamy substance.

Eeeeeaaaauuw. Actually, triple yecccccch with a side order of Eeeeeeaaaaauuw.

The substance appears to have been some variety of hand cream or liquid soap. So, it's merely juvenile rather than hitting the extremely gross level.

But I am very, very pissed.

Beestie · 01-05-2006, 04:06 AM

Bad neighbors are hell. Haven't had one in a long time but reading your post brought back memories.

Your neighbors need to be frightened. Preferably, I think, by a third party.

cjjulie · 01-05-2006, 08:06 AM

Maybe you should bring them a plate of cookies.

Trilby · 01-05-2006, 08:17 AM

Any help from the management of the complex? If they are trashing the outside of the building they are trashing the inside of their apartment, too.

capnhowdy · 01-05-2006, 08:28 AM

....maybe break out the Glock.

barefoot serpent · 01-05-2006, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

Your neighbors need to be frightened. Preferably, I think, by a third party.

Yes, someone needs to make them an offer that they can't refuse. Do you know any Italians in the 'hood?

edit: or you could tape one of these to their door:

Jordon · 01-05-2006, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barefoot serpent

Yes, someone needs to make them an offer that they can't refuse. Do you know any Italians in the 'hood?

edit: or you could tape one of these to their door:

This might have an even better impact.

Luisa · 01-05-2006, 11:23 AM

Wolf, I totally sympathize and wholeheartedly agree with you. I must say though, that your neighbors are amateurs when compared to my neighbors from hell over here in the Philippines. I bet my neighbors will trump yours anytime. The doorknob thing they did to you is a childish prank compared to the human feces that got smeared on our doorknob for months. I have since learned never to open a doorknob without wrapping it in a piece of tissue paper first. The said sick act is always done at night by the cowards. The neighborhood thugs also used my house for target practice by hurling those old 45 rpm records at our rooftop from midnight to 1 AM without fail till we finally had to call for police protection. Long story. I won't bore you with details.

I'm caught between the devil and the deep blue sea over here. I have a fire hazard, noise polluting illegal (read as no business permit) vehicle body repair shop next door run by drug addicts and a female pusher (they claim to be reformed as of the moment) and on the other side, I have my own relatives who will do everything they can to make sure that they destroy anything of mine that they can their hands on. My car has suffered a broken wiper arm, slashed tires, major body scratches and dents while parked inside our gated driveway. My very own cousin just recently mutilated our plants and trees in our flower bed (We had it built much to his chargin as he no longer could no longer openly harass my family) that divides the 2 homes in the compound because he refused to discuss a simple matter of not hanging his dripping wet car rugs over our flower bed grills without permission. The grills had already rusted due his practice. They are next door in our compound and they have their own gate. That doesn't stop them from jumping over anyway. But that's another long convoluted story.

Since the place I live in is just just a few minutes away from the worst part of the city, as in if Slang really wanted to walk the uinbeaten path, I should have given him a tour here, there is no sense in going to the police nor calling the barangay guards. It is just normal occurence to them. The most we always end up doing is filing blotters. Much good that does. At least you have a legal recourse that works if given the proper ammunition

Ralph · 01-05-2006, 11:25 AM

Sounds to me like they are screaming out for attention.
Lonely, insecure and no where to go. They have their parties to create a friendship pattern with typical headbangers, inviting every noodle brained fool they can find. You might be fortunate enough to have some real fun with them if your of a mind to be practical. Freak 'em out goodstyle. Think about it, discuss it with a few trusted buddies and scare the living daylights out of them. If they are popping speed etc they will be paranoid anyhow, it would be easy to get them on one!

The women tear their blouses off
The men all dance on the table tops
It's closing time.

wolf · 01-05-2006, 11:36 AM

The holes in the target I have pinned to my bulletin board are somewhat closer together ... But I can't do anything that would be viewed as an actual threat, which a perforated target might be considered. I don't need these assholes knowing what my hobbies are anyway.

The management company is useless. They just need to keep everybody renting until the units sell.

I could come up with 1001 things to do TO these assholes, but I don't want the situation to escalate to real damage.

I am hoping for a short attention span on their parts, and karmic backlash to do it's little job.

Elspode · 01-05-2006, 02:42 PM

I've read the Witch manual pretty thoroughly at this point, Wolf, and I can assure you that you are allowed to protect yourself and your home magickly. I'm sure you can think of *something*...

capnhowdy · 01-05-2006, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Sounds to me like they are screaming out for attention.

... or maybe screaming out for an ass whuppin.

I know.... I know.... I live in the rural South. Overlook me.

zippyt · 01-05-2006, 06:11 PM

Sign them up for Playgirl , or any other gay rag you can find .

Oh and keep the GLOCK close at hand , don't be a percived threat , just be a prepaired one !!!

Iggy · 01-05-2006, 07:11 PM

sign them up for Nugget. Maybe you can find a gay version...

Griff · 01-05-2006, 07:18 PM

Might be time to move to Upper Grifftopia or Central Slangsylvania... just a thought.

01-05-2006, 01:30 AM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Why I Would Prefer Not to Have Neighbors Because skirmishes in a neighbor war suck. I have been living in my apartment complex for 11 or maybe 12 years. I previously lived in a different unit in the complex for 4 years. I have neighbors who moved in last summer. Two young men, probably in their 30s. I do not know if they are a couple or merely roommates. They do not seem to have any female friends, but that's not important right now. These neighbors (immediate next door, step-sharing neighbors, which is what makes them extra-horrendous) are not good neighbors. One of their first actions on moving in was to cut about half of the branches off the willow tree that stands behind my back patio (not theirs) because the droopyness inconvenienced them. They have exceptionally loud parties. They like house and trance music. They turn it up to 11. At 3AM. They also turn it up to 11 before midnight, but up until then I have a higher tolerance level. My television also has a volume button. They had a drunken party on Halloween night and smashed pumpkins against the wall and door of my unit. They were, to be fair, their own pumpkins. Tonight, however, takes the fucking cake. I do not have direct evidence of their involvement. Just a suspicion. And a reasonably good one according to the very nice Sergeant of my local police department who came to my residence. As I came in the door tonight, I unlocked it and then went to turn the knob, and came away with a handful of whitish, creamy substance. Eeeeeaaaauuw. Actually, triple yecccccch with a side order of Eeeeeeaaaaauuw. The substance appears to have been some variety of hand cream or liquid soap. So, it's merely juvenile rather than hitting the extremely gross level. But I am very, very pissed. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

01-05-2006, 04:06 AM	#2
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	Bad neighbors are hell. Haven't had one in a long time but reading your post brought back memories. Your neighbors need to be frightened. Preferably, I think, by a third party. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

01-05-2006, 08:06 AM	#3
cjjulie Colonist Extraordinaire Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: CT Posts: 201	Maybe you should bring them a plate of cookies. __________________ Fun,Fearless,Female

01-05-2006, 08:17 AM	#4
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Any help from the management of the complex? If they are trashing the outside of the building they are trashing the inside of their apartment, too. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-05-2006, 08:28 AM	#5
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	....maybe break out the Glock. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

01-05-2006, 11:23 AM	#8
Luisa I'm a mental nomad Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Right under your nose Posts: 78	Wolf, I totally sympathize and wholeheartedly agree with you. I must say though, that your neighbors are amateurs when compared to my neighbors from hell over here in the Philippines. I bet my neighbors will trump yours anytime. The doorknob thing they did to you is a childish prank compared to the human feces that got smeared on our doorknob for months. I have since learned never to open a doorknob without wrapping it in a piece of tissue paper first. The said sick act is always done at night by the cowards. The neighborhood thugs also used my house for target practice by hurling those old 45 rpm records at our rooftop from midnight to 1 AM without fail till we finally had to call for police protection. Long story. I won't bore you with details. I'm caught between the devil and the deep blue sea over here. I have a fire hazard, noise polluting illegal (read as no business permit) vehicle body repair shop next door run by drug addicts and a female pusher (they claim to be reformed as of the moment) and on the other side, I have my own relatives who will do everything they can to make sure that they destroy anything of mine that they can their hands on. My car has suffered a broken wiper arm, slashed tires, major body scratches and dents while parked inside our gated driveway. My very own cousin just recently mutilated our plants and trees in our flower bed (We had it built much to his chargin as he no longer could no longer openly harass my family) that divides the 2 homes in the compound because he refused to discuss a simple matter of not hanging his dripping wet car rugs over our flower bed grills without permission. The grills had already rusted due his practice. They are next door in our compound and they have their own gate. That doesn't stop them from jumping over anyway. But that's another long convoluted story. Since the place I live in is just just a few minutes away from the worst part of the city, as in if Slang really wanted to walk the uinbeaten path, I should have given him a tour here, there is no sense in going to the police nor calling the barangay guards. It is just normal occurence to them. The most we always end up doing is filing blotters. Much good that does. At least you have a legal recourse that works if given the proper ammunition __________________ I am not trapped. I am mentally free !!! My destiny is yet to be Last edited by Luisa; 01-05-2006 at 11:27 AM. Reason: Too fast on the shift key and a brain that goes faster than my fingers

01-05-2006, 11:25 AM	#9
Ralph Neophyte-in-training Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 3	Sounds to me like they are screaming out for attention. Lonely, insecure and no where to go. They have their parties to create a friendship pattern with typical headbangers, inviting every noodle brained fool they can find. You might be fortunate enough to have some real fun with them if your of a mind to be practical. Freak 'em out goodstyle. Think about it, discuss it with a few trusted buddies and scare the living daylights out of them. If they are popping speed etc they will be paranoid anyhow, it would be easy to get them on one! The women tear their blouses off The men all dance on the table tops It's closing time.

01-05-2006, 11:36 AM	#10
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	The holes in the target I have pinned to my bulletin board are somewhat closer together ... But I can't do anything that would be viewed as an actual threat, which a perforated target might be considered. I don't need these assholes knowing what my hobbies are anyway. The management company is useless. They just need to keep everybody renting until the units sell. I could come up with 1001 things to do TO these assholes, but I don't want the situation to escalate to real damage. I am hoping for a short attention span on their parts, and karmic backlash to do it's little job. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

01-05-2006, 02:42 PM	#11
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I've read the Witch manual pretty thoroughly at this point, Wolf, and I can assure you that you are allowed to protect yourself and your home magickly. I'm sure you can think of something... __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

01-05-2006, 06:11 PM	#13
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Sign them up for Playgirl , or any other gay rag you can find . Oh and keep the GLOCK close at hand , don't be a percived threat , just be a prepaired one !!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

01-05-2006, 07:11 PM	#14
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	sign them up for Nugget. Maybe you can find a gay version...

01-05-2006, 07:18 PM	#15
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Might be time to move to Upper Grifftopia or Central Slangsylvania... just a thought. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

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