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Relationships People who need people; or, why can't we all just get along?

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Old 01-29-2005, 04:49 PM   #1
staceyv
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How to train a man

forget it

Last edited by staceyv; 01-29-2005 at 05:22 PM.
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Old 01-29-2005, 04:54 PM   #2
Undertoad
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For you: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books

For him: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books

HTH
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Old 01-29-2005, 05:16 PM   #3
staceyv
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Oh yeah, I must be SUCH a control freak because I would like my husband to hang my towel up instead of leaving it bunched up on the couch, and how awful of me to want a native russian speaker to spend 5 minutes a day helping me learn. And any woman who doesn't like to fall in the toilet in the wee hours of the morning because her husband left the seat up is CRAZY.

The title was meant to attract attention, but I'm not trying to "train" my husband, jesus. I think that we should share equal responsibilities in the household. We both work and pay half of the bills. I do all of the cooking, dishes, bill-paying, errands like grocery shopping, going to the bank, etc. I bring him coffee and breakfast in bed to be nice, and I make his lunch for him.
He works and watches tv and reads the news online.
These are 100% of my household expectations for him:
1) put the toilet seat down, I don't want to fall in.
2) after you throw my towel on the couch, hang it back up after you shower, because if it's wet, it starts to smell like mold, and the dog lays on it.
3) you are a native russian speaker and I am trying to learn. I spend hours everday cooking or cleaning or doing errands. Please give me 5-10 minutes of your time to help me.
4) please don't be a TOTAL slob. I don't mind if you leave your dirty socks and clothes on the floor, I'm used to it. But the living room looks like crap because you're living out of a laundry bag on the couch.
5) Drink, eat and smoke whatever and whenever you want. Just be happy. I don't care how many hours you watch t.v or how often you screw me, or if you have to work overtime. I can live with a kiss in the morning and at night and let's cuddle while we sleep. A day together once a week is nice.
the end.
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Old 01-29-2005, 05:20 PM   #4
staceyv
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http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...books&n=507846

for UT
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Old 01-29-2005, 05:36 PM   #5
staceyv
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One more post, I don't know why I so offended, but I HATE being misunderstood. I try to word my title with a sense of humor and then I get a recommendation to read a control freak book. All I was trying to do is find out a good way to communicate to my husband when something is important to me.
Another thing I really hate is when someone is nice to me and then all of a sudden they are rude. That really drives me crazy. That's where my problems at work came from. The cook that brought me to a meltdown was always so nice and friendly to me and then he got in a bad mood, took it out on me, and I just couldn't handle it. It would've been so much easier if he had just been a jerk to me all of the time. Same thing with that mangirl. We were chatting and she was acting all friendly to me, and then bam, she's being a total bitch to me. WHY?
same here with UT. I've been coming to the Cellar for a year, and I had the impression that he was one of the most sensitive and thoughtful people here. Then, I ask how I can get my husband to hang up my towel, and now I'm a control freak and my husband is being abused.
Interacting with people can really suck. Especially when you're doing it in your free time for your own enjoyment and then someone you respect insults you and makes you feel like crap and your free time is now being spent in a pissy mood. UGH.
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Old 01-29-2005, 05:52 PM   #6
Dagney
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

- Elanor Roosevelt.

Stacey,

I truly don't think UT was trying to offiend you, or was being a jerk in any way. However, if you think about it, perhaps the way you titled the thread may have been more than a little offensive to some men who don't think they need training. (Because they more than likely don't)

And we've discussed the Up/Down toilet seat thing before....very touchy subject if I remember correctly.

HtH

Kellie
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Old 01-29-2005, 06:21 PM   #7
wolf
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Stacey, try this one.
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Old 01-29-2005, 10:31 PM   #8
Beestie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf
Stacey, try this one.
I can't recommend this book strongly enough. If women want to understand how to handle the strong but silent type or if men want to understand the paradox of women who get pissed off when men "solve" the problem they are complaining about then this is the book for you.

And Stace...this book will help you understand why you should not be pissed at UT. Interestingly, the book will explain how your anger at his sincere attempt to help you is seriously misplaced. Edumacate thyself.
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Old 01-30-2005, 09:00 AM   #9
Undertoad
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My ex-wife had control issues, bought the first book and it didn't really help.

We're divorced now.

Stacey, you have control issues.

Good luck with your relationship.
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Old 01-30-2005, 09:09 AM   #10
lumberjim
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cock!
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Old 01-30-2005, 10:09 AM   #11
jaguar
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Thankyou LJ, cellar would be devoid of discussion and debate without your constructive input.

Quote:
1) put the toilet seat down, I don't want to fall in.
How hard is it to check before you sit down?
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Old 01-30-2005, 10:37 AM   #12
Jacquelita
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad
My ex-wife had control issues, bought the first book and it didn't really help.

We're divorced now.

Stacey, you have control issues.

Good luck with your relationship.
Stacey, I think UT may just be taunting you to get a reaction
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Old 01-30-2005, 10:47 AM   #13
wolf
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I have often wondered why the toilet seat thing is even an issue ... If I leave it down, he needs to put it up. If he puts it up, I need to put it down. Sounds like an adequate division of responsibilities to me ...
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Old 01-30-2005, 11:33 AM   #14
zippyt
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Stacey , its REAL easy men are dogs and women are cats . Like a dog if you feed him , rub his belly , and let him go play with his friends he is happy !!
You cant make a woman happy, they are or they arn't , just like a cat !!!
Let the towle sit for a few days then drape it over his head , smile as you do this . He'll get the hint .
Put your own damn toilet seat down , you didn't leave it up for him , did you ?????
Talk dirty to him in russian , or leave him little " fuck me " notes in russian .
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Old 01-30-2005, 02:33 PM   #15
lumberjim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaguar
Thankyou LJ, cellar would be devoid of discussion and debate without your constructive input.
cock!


ps. i wasn't calling UT a cock. I was just saying it because its a meaningless argument. I was, however calling Jag a cock........that's because he is one.
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