Organ recital

Sheldonrs · 12-15-2006, 11:04 AM

I was contacted last week regarding an ad I had posted on MatchingDonors.com. It is a web site for people willing to donate a kidney or other spare parts and for people who need those things to find a possible donor.
Anyway, a lady contacted me because I might be a match and she needs a kidney. She has to go through dialysis 3x per week. She and her husband retired a few years ago but shortly after, her husband died of cancer. She has a daughter and told me she just wants to live to see her grandchildren someday. She is 64 years old.

I have already sent in my med. records and the lady' doctors says I look like a good candidate. Once they have all of my info and it looks good, they will fly me out to CA for final tests. Once everything looks good, they will fly me back to CA for the operation. MatchingDonors.com and her insurance will pay for everything.

My bf HATES the idea of me doing this but has finally decided if it's something that I want to do then it's ok. My sister, a nurse, thinks it's stupid for me to do it.

Any feedback guys and gals? Anyone know anybody who has done this?

Any info would be good.

PS - The first person who makes the obvious "Steel Magnolia" references will get bitch-slapped for Christmas!!!

morethanpretty · 12-15-2006, 11:08 AM

She will probably end up in an old folks home and see her grandchildren once a year or less.

Clodfobble · 12-15-2006, 11:09 AM

Wow. You are ballsy. I respect that, but it also kind of freaks me out a little.

barefoot serpent · 12-15-2006, 11:43 AM

A really tough call... you should at least go and meet her. maybe ask the daughter if she is really planning to have kids or just blowing smoke up granny's skirt.

SteveDallas · 12-15-2006, 11:54 AM

I'm sorry, I know some people, especially women (stereotype, yeah, but in my experience one with a basis in fact) get irrational on the subject of grandchildren. But that's just completely irrelevant.

You need to decide if this is something you want to do for this woman--considering your own health and the medical risks to you, as well as the medical condition & prospects of the donor, the likelihood of her finding another donor, and any other medical, spiritual, and ethical issues that are important to you.

Maybe the answer is yes. Maybe it's no. I couldn't make that judgement for you even if I had more information than you've posted. But this has to be between you and her. Whether she has children, or grandchildren, or ever will, or whether her daughter gets nailed by a bus crossing the street later this afternoon, is, to me, a completely irrelevant consideration.

Sheldonrs · 12-15-2006, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

I'm sorry, I know some people, especially women (stereotype, yeah, but in my experience one with a basis in fact) get irrational on the subject of grandchildren. But that's just completely irrelevant.

You need to decide if this is something you want to do for this woman--considering your own health and the medical risks to you, as well as the medical condition & prospects of the donor, the likelihood of her finding another donor, and any other medical, spiritual, and ethical issues that are important to you.

Maybe the answer is yes. Maybe it's no. I couldn't make that judgement for you even if I had more information than you've posted. But this has to be between you and her. Whether she has children, or grandchildren, or ever will, or whether her daughter gets nailed by a bus crossing the street later this afternoon, is, to me, a completely irrelevant consideration.

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Her chances of finding another donor are small because of her age. I guess the fact that she says she wants to see her grandchildren is irrelevant to me as well. The bottom line is she wants to live a longer, healthier life. And if I can help make that happen, I'm fine with that.

I will be meeting her and her daughter if/when I go for the exam prior to the actual surgery.

And seeing as how I don't want to have children of my own, I guess this is my way of giving life with out the messy birthing process.

xoxoxoBruce · 12-16-2006, 12:50 AM

Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.

Sheldonrs · 12-16-2006, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.
Damn......You're nuts.
Damn...... you're an angel.

Less filling; tastes great.

Aliantha · 12-16-2006, 04:33 AM

My cousin was an organ donor. Her organs weren't harvested till after she died, but she was only 21 when she passed.

She lives still through the life she gave to someone else. She sees the world still. Her liver cleans someones blood. Her kidneys clean someones pee (a little less romantic I know, but still necessary).

However you choose to do it, I think donating organs is a good thing.

I wish you well no matter what way you go in the end.

Sheldonrs · 12-16-2006, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

My cousin was an organ donor. Her organs weren't harvested till after she died, but she was only 21 when she passed.

She lives still through the life she gave to someone else. She sees the world still. Her liver cleans someones blood. Her kidneys clean someones pee (a little less romantic I know, but still necessary).

However you choose to do it, I think donating organs is a good thing.

I wish you well no matter what way you go in the end.

Thank you Aliantha.

Iggy · 12-16-2006, 10:57 AM

I am at a loss for what to say. I don't think I could do something like that myself... but I respect you for your decision. I would be worried that someone in my family would need my kidney, or that I would need it later on in life, or that the woman would die soon anyway. It is a tough decision, that's for sure. Good luck!

xoxoxoBruce · 12-16-2006, 10:59 AM

Man, this is rattling around in my little pea brain looking for a spot to stick. It just doesn't seem to fit any existing folder.

It's an incredibly generous and noble act, especially for a stranger.
It's also a dangerous thing for you to undertake, just because it's major surgery, without the other factors. I'm guessing you've investigated the pros and cons. Probably your friends have chewed your ear off, with reasons you should or shouldn't do it.

All I can say is good luck, I hope everyone lives happily ever after.

Sheldonrs · 12-16-2006, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iggy

I am at a loss for what to say. I don't think I could do something like that myself... but I respect you for your decision. I would be worried that someone in my family would need my kidney, or that I would need it later on in life, or that the woman would die soon anyway. It is a tough decision, that's for sure. Good luck!

I thought about all of that. My blood type is B- and the rest of my family is B+ so I would not be able to donate one to them.
And in my family, nobody has lived past the age of 62. All have had cancer so the odds of me making it longer than that and needing a kidney are slim.
Thanks for the good wishes. :-)

Sheldonrs · 12-16-2006, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Man, this is rattling around in my little pea brain looking for a spot to stick. It just doesn't seem to fit any existing folder.

It's an incredibly generous and noble act, especially for a stranger.
It's also a dangerous thing for you to undertake, just because it's major surgery, without the other factors. I'm guessing you've investigated the pros and cons. Probably your friends have chewed your ear off, with reasons you should or shouldn't do it.

All I can say is good luck, I hope everyone lives happily ever after.

Oh yeah, my family and my bf have called me more names in the last few days than lll my time in school! lol!

Thanks.

limey · 12-17-2006, 03:32 PM

I think you need carefully to examine (and perhaps have already) questions like:
Why do you want to do this?
What prompted you to put your details out there and make this open offer in the first place? Is it just because

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

...seeing as how I don't want to have children of my own, I guess this is my way of giving life with out the messy birthing process.

?
Is that enough of a reason for you to potentially sacrifice your life for a stranger's? Nature gave us two smaller kidneys rather than one big one (and duplicates of some other organs) to provide a back up of essential services if one failed.
Did you pick your use title of "Hand of kindness extender"? Is this your identity?
How much do you care about your family - I don't mean about their reaction about whether you should do this or not, but about them - how they love you and could be hurt by what you plan to do?
You don't have to go into any of this publicly - but you should be sure you have looked thoroughly at these questions.

12-15-2006, 11:04 AM	#1
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Organ recital I was contacted last week regarding an ad I had posted on MatchingDonors.com. It is a web site for people willing to donate a kidney or other spare parts and for people who need those things to find a possible donor. Anyway, a lady contacted me because I might be a match and she needs a kidney. She has to go through dialysis 3x per week. She and her husband retired a few years ago but shortly after, her husband died of cancer. She has a daughter and told me she just wants to live to see her grandchildren someday. She is 64 years old. I have already sent in my med. records and the lady' doctors says I look like a good candidate. Once they have all of my info and it looks good, they will fly me out to CA for final tests. Once everything looks good, they will fly me back to CA for the operation. MatchingDonors.com and her insurance will pay for everything. My bf HATES the idea of me doing this but has finally decided if it's something that I want to do then it's ok. My sister, a nurse, thinks it's stupid for me to do it. Any feedback guys and gals? Anyone know anybody who has done this? Any info would be good. PS - The first person who makes the obvious "Steel Magnolia" references will get bitch-slapped for Christmas!!! __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

12-15-2006, 11:08 AM	#2
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	She will probably end up in an old folks home and see her grandchildren once a year or less. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

12-15-2006, 11:43 AM	#4
barefoot serpent go ahead, abbrev. it Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lawrence, KS Posts: 2,623	A really tough call... you should at least go and meet her. maybe ask the daughter if she is really planning to have kids or just blowing smoke up granny's skirt. __________________ Chooses rowing vs. wading

12-16-2006, 12:50 AM	#7
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Damn......You're nuts. Damn...... you're an angel. Damn......You're nuts. Damn...... you're an angel. Damn......You're nuts. Damn...... you're an angel. Damn......You're nuts. Damn...... you're an angel. Damn......You're nuts. Damn...... you're an angel. Damn......You're nuts. Damn...... you're an angel. Damn......You're nuts. Damn...... you're an angel. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-16-2006, 04:33 AM	#9
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	My cousin was an organ donor. Her organs weren't harvested till after she died, but she was only 21 when she passed. She lives still through the life she gave to someone else. She sees the world still. Her liver cleans someones blood. Her kidneys clean someones pee (a little less romantic I know, but still necessary). However you choose to do it, I think donating organs is a good thing. I wish you well no matter what way you go in the end. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

12-15-2006, 11:09 AM	#3
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Wow. You are ballsy. I respect that, but it also kind of freaks me out a little.

12-15-2006, 11:54 AM	#5
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I'm sorry, I know some people, especially women (stereotype, yeah, but in my experience one with a basis in fact) get irrational on the subject of grandchildren. But that's just completely irrelevant. You need to decide if this is something you want to do for this woman--considering your own health and the medical risks to you, as well as the medical condition & prospects of the donor, the likelihood of her finding another donor, and any other medical, spiritual, and ethical issues that are important to you. Maybe the answer is yes. Maybe it's no. I couldn't make that judgement for you even if I had more information than you've posted. But this has to be between you and her. Whether she has children, or grandchildren, or ever will, or whether her daughter gets nailed by a bus crossing the street later this afternoon, is, to me, a completely irrelevant consideration.

12-16-2006, 10:57 AM	#11
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	I am at a loss for what to say. I don't think I could do something like that myself... but I respect you for your decision. I would be worried that someone in my family would need my kidney, or that I would need it later on in life, or that the woman would die soon anyway. It is a tough decision, that's for sure. Good luck! __________________ Chock-full of naughty goodness.

12-16-2006, 10:59 AM	#12
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Man, this is rattling around in my little pea brain looking for a spot to stick. It just doesn't seem to fit any existing folder. It's an incredibly generous and noble act, especially for a stranger. It's also a dangerous thing for you to undertake, just because it's major surgery, without the other factors. I'm guessing you've investigated the pros and cons. Probably your friends have chewed your ear off, with reasons you should or shouldn't do it. All I can say is good luck, I hope everyone lives happily ever after. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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