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Old 06-18-2009, 09:31 PM   #1726
Clodfobble
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZenGum
Get some beer and chips, and slob your ass on the couch and watch the sport of your choice. War movies are an acceptable substitute.
Crappy anime meant for 9-year-old boys will also suffice, in a pinch.
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Old 06-18-2009, 10:17 PM   #1727
Juniper
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Thanks, everyone. I have issues, that's all I can say. It's nice to be in a place where I can admit I have issues and be a little bit crazy without having everyone jump on me for being so crazy, y'know? You all are REAL. You know what it's like to be imperfect, but still pretty damn good.

Mr. hard-working German dude only has two speeds: full speed and full stop - sleeping. If he sits on the couch in front of a sport or movie, he'll fall asleep. I wonder why?

Seriously, it does kind of tick me off that the man can't seem to relax and have fun unless I manage to get him away from the house. At a friend's house, camping, on vacation, etc., he's fine, but at home anything leisure-related is just a hassle getting in the way of some project he's working on. And I KNOW there is work to be done. Lord, do I know. I feel terribly guilty that I can't do more of it for him so he'll have less to do, but not only am I completely inept at most "handyman" type things, he wouldn't want me to do it anyway.

I think that's the secret, you're right -- he enjoys hard physical work. I do not. I really, really, really do not. I will gladly sit at a desk for hours working on a project, but using my muscles, getting all sweaty out in the sun? Bleah.

Note: Yes, there are FUN ways to use muscles and get sweaty. That's different.

I hate housework too. He gets mad about that. He apparently thinks I should love it. Why? Because his mother was a housewife, and his logic is that if I hate housework, that means I am insulting his mother by saying I am better than she was and that being a homemaker is a menial, low-class lifestyle. Which is ridiculous. Isn't it?

I mean, my dad was a clerk in a bank vault for 30 years. My husband would go NUTS sitting at a desk shuffling paperwork all day, but it suited my dad just fine. Does that mean my husband is insulting my father by saying he is too good to shuffle papers at a desk and would rather drive around delivering mail for a living? I think not.

Sigh.

OK, this is starting to edge over out of "mildly irritating" and may soon belong in a different thread.

So. I've got two painters coming tomorrow to give me quotes for the condo. I'm turning it over in my head, trying to decide whether I should hire them, pay them and just tell DH that it's painted, or if I should actually tell him that I'm hiring a painter. 'Cause I know he'll just tell me that it's pathetic or something to hire a painter to do something I could do myself.

"Just do a little at a time," he says. But you can't. You can't just paint one wall, after all, you have to keep going or you'll waste paint and tray liners. "Get the kids to help," he says. Yeah, it will be MUCH easier to paint the condo with a 13 and 11 year old "helping."

Screw it. I am sick of it and I am hiring it out. Life is too short to save money by doing something you hate. If he has a problem with it, he can paint it himself.
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Old 06-18-2009, 10:24 PM   #1728
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You wouldn't have to pay him either - well not with money anyway
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Old 06-19-2009, 04:50 AM   #1729
DanaC
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Juni...is your husband aware of just how serious your BP situation is?
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Old 06-19-2009, 07:53 AM   #1730
Shawnee123
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Reports of my car's death have been greatly exaggerated

(That's Twain, if anyone doesn't know)

Anyway, my marbles, have you seen them?

So HG takes the car to this guy we know...it was just the radiator hose or something. Fixed it.

I'd already announced the death!

I had decided that if it cost much to fix it I would just take it to the junkyard. Well, not me because that is sad and would make me feel bad.

Now I don't know what to do: keep going with it, trade it in, sell it.

I know this is a silly and unimportant thing (why it's in mildly irritating) but when I didn't have a choice the choice was much easier.
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:19 AM   #1731
classicman
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Perhaps this will help with your decision...
Quote:
The most affordable way to take advantage of the program? The 2009 Hyundai Accent, the lowest-priced car in America (MSRP: $10,665) and one rated at 29 miles per gallon. Trade in any qualifying car and you can have an Accent for barely more than $6,000 out of pocket (plus tax, title and license, of course). You'd also save around $750 per year on gas. And the 2009 Nissan Versa is available for a mere $45 more.
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:24 AM   #1732
Shawnee123
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No. Hyundai. No.

I've looked at every "brand" of car in the class I am considering...every single one. I'll never be able to make a decision.

And: my car doesn't qualify for cash for clunkers, in the law as it is currently written...this could change.
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:29 AM   #1733
Juniper
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I vote: trade it in and get a new car. Or at least a new-ish car. You'll be much happier when you don't have to worry about it all the time.

I don't know what kind of car you're looking at, but just for the record, I have a 2008 CR-V and I love it.
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:32 AM   #1734
Sundae
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I'm just irritable today - sorry.
So everything is irritating me.

I thought I'd talked myself out of it on the walk back from town.
But here I sit, really quite angry again.
Not sure what to do, might have a nap.
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:35 AM   #1735
Shawnee123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juniper View Post
I vote: trade it in and get a new car. Or at least a new-ish car. You'll be much happier when you don't have to worry about it all the time.

I don't know what kind of car you're looking at, but just for the record, I have a 2008 CR-V and I love it.
Those are nice.

I know you're right...don't know what my mental block is on this issue.
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:37 AM   #1736
Juniper
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC View Post
Juni...is your husband aware of just how serious your BP situation is?
Well now, actually I think he's in denial even more than I am. He hasn't said so, but I suspect he thinks I may be using it as an excuse to be lazy. Then again, that might just be my perception.

I guess I feel that the BP thing is my fault. It's my fault for being "out of shape" and overweight (the doctor said I should lose 30 #), for not taking it seriously when it started last year. If I had cancer, I could say this was something that happened to me - just bad luck, and I'm a victim. But this seems like such a self-inflicted problem. Of course I don't live much differently than the average person; it's not like I sit around all day eating fast-food, smoking and boozing. It is bad luck to get the genetic predisposition - on both sides, including the anxiety issues.

And when something is my fault, I tend to compensate for it by trying to prove it's no big deal. Like when you break something and say "well, I needed a new one anyway." I say, sure, I have this illness -- but hey, no big deal, it isn't gonna keep me from doing what I have to do.
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:42 AM   #1737
classicman
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Quote:
And the 2009 Nissan Versa is available for a mere $45 more.
I left that line in there for a reason.
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Old 06-19-2009, 09:29 AM   #1738
SteveDallas
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Blue Nissan Versa![/Hiro]

My irritation?

Software Vendor: We've released version 3.14159 of our database system It includes massively important features regarding financial transaction security. We recommend all our customers upgrade ASAP.

Me: OK, we can do that. Let's look at the instructions. "Do not upgrade to version 3.14159 until you've installed version 2.718 of our companion product." Oh, uh, guys, I can't find version 2.718?

Them: Yeah, we haven't released it yet?

Me: Oh. So am I supposed to install your 3.14159 release of the database or not?

Them: <heads asplode>
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Old 06-19-2009, 10:27 AM   #1739
Juniper
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Sounds more like <heads implode>
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Old 06-19-2009, 10:31 AM   #1740
Trilby
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Juni - My impression is simply that, my own impression, and of course not worth the paper it's written on (ha!) BUT, may I say - you take on too, too much. You are a perfectionist (takes one to know one!) and the world will NOT fall apart, not even your own corner of it, if you take some well-deserved time off. B/P issues are deadly serious. I don't think it's a matter of thirty pounds (wtf?) I think it's a matter of stress and the high cortisol levels that go along with it. High cortisol leads to depression...leads to...lots of nasty. You've been thru the wringer emotionally, you're an A student, you have two households to deal with - you are dealing with your own home troubles AND your mom's condo, you do scouts...I can't recall all the things you said you've been up to lately but I DO recall feeling wrung out after reading the list! Cancer Schmancer - I felt guilt for having it, felt I'd "given it" to myself. We can play all sorts of games with ourselves - not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough...not BUSY enough. Fuck all that.

come over to the Lazy Side of life, darling. Have some lemonade and a squishy (not hard!) bunch of strawberries. Relax.

Otherwise, sweetie, you're killing yourself softly.
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