Why do you hate your mom? - Page 3

HungLikeJesus · 12-20-2011, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dungeonsandlizards

'Cause I've never felt, not even once that she loved me. . . and that's the truth.

That's not her job, is it?

dungeonsandlizards · 12-21-2011, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

But does she hate you?

That I really can't answer. I really don't know. I mean I have thought about that but I think even if I feel that she does, I still want to think that she doesn't.

dungeonsandlizards · 12-21-2011, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

Do you love you?

Yes. And I'm thankful that my husband and my kids love me. it's just saddening when I see mothers who show affection to their daughters.

dungeonsandlizards · 12-21-2011, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus

That's not her job, is it?

Yes. It would've been okay for me if there was just an absence of love. Thing is, we've been into this "war" since high school, there's too much anger coming from her and it's depressing at times when it crosses my mind.

SamIam · 12-21-2011, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dungeonsandlizards

Yes. And I'm thankful that my husband and my kids love me. it's just saddening when I see mothers who show affection to their daughters.

How true for those of us who had mothers unable to love us. I feel almost jealous when I witness loving mother/child interactions. For example, years ago I had a woman friend who was about my mother's age. For some reason we got to talking one time about the hippy movement one. My friend said, "I love hippies because they remind me of my own children. All of them were hippies."

I was stunned. My mother hated hippies and blamed them for every single thing that was or is wrong with the country. "Its all because of you hippies," she'd say, glaring at me. My mother was extremely hateful. She was very prejudiced against African Americans, and would freely use the n-word to describe them. She hated Jews, as well. She hated her neighbors, and once when she was in her 80's she got into a physical confrontation with the nice elderly lady who was her next door neighbor. The woman had dared to come over and ring the doorbell with a plate of Christmas cookies in her hands.

glatt · 12-21-2011, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dungeonsandlizards

Yes. And I'm thankful that my husband and my kids love me. it's just saddening when I see mothers who show affection to their daughters.

And if your kids show you they love you, you're obviously showing them that you love them. You've broken the bad cycle, and that's something to be proud of.

12-22-2011, 03:22 AM

I never felt close to my mother or father, I think because we were so absolutely different in our thinking, on big or small issues. For instance my parents are bigots plain and simple, they hate everyone who is not them. Even when I was 3 or4 I would argue with them about this. We also has very little physical affection. When I got older I had an Israeli friend who gave me 'hug therapy'. She actually had to teach me to be warm, thank goodness before I had my own daughters.

My mother also thinks I sold all the gifts she gave me over the years. It's really strange, Even now she nose around my house for things she gave me when I was 10. Ironically, she threw away little treasures from my childhood I would have kept but I still have a few little bits of jewelry from back then that I never got rid of.

Who needs this aggravation?

limey · 12-22-2011, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dungeonsandlizards

Yes. And I'm thankful that my husband and my kids love me. it's just saddening when I see mothers who show affection to their daughters.

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

And if your kids show you they love you, you're obviously showing them that you love them. You've broken the bad cycle, and that's something to be proud of.

This.

Undertoad · 12-27-2011, 12:19 PM

The 8th annual "What's wrong with UT" marathon, held every year at this time, ended suddenly today when I told everyone firmly that the session was over and thanks for their help but I was not going to participate in the discussion any longer.

The session was triply painful this year because I agreed that there are probably some big things wrong with me. At almost the same time, I described my life in terms of a slow, 30-year suicide whilst trying to make a point in a Facebook discussion. This convinced everyone that I might actually be suicidal, and this in turn permitted the session to go into long hours and hours of what is precisely wrong with me, and where everything went wrong.

Negotiations were held on who would pay to fix me and what the terms of that would be. The negotiations broke down when I refused to provide detailed reports on the steps I am taking to improve.

infinite monkey · 12-27-2011, 12:55 PM

Wow, they talk about what's wrong with you where you can HEAR them?

Hmmm. Alls I get is whispers and looks.

There ain't nuthin' wrong with UT
As far as I can see.

Trilby · 12-27-2011, 02:10 PM

I only know a tiny part of the human being that is Tony. What I know about him is that HE has helped ME in many ways and has always been compassionate and understanding about it, about me and my shortcomings. The part of Tony that I know is kind, compassionate, rational, level-headed, witty and above all, scarily intelligent.

I don't know what goes on annually, or monthly, or daily with you. But I do know that you are a fighter who is rational. Sometimes having all your faults lined up for inspection is exactly what you DON"T need. I'll bet it was meant in all love; but sometimes you just have to do it yourself.

Hugs, Tony.

Clodfobble · 12-27-2011, 06:09 PM

Sorry, UT.

Family criticisms are the easiest to find and the hardest to suffer. Maybe you and Sundae should host an international exchange-mom program.

footfootfoot · 12-27-2011, 06:52 PM

My mother made me an undertoad.

Really? If I buy her the yarn do you think she'd make me one too?

UT, I just learned a month ago, from my therapist, that I am allowed to decide what my boundaries are. It is awesome when you know that you can say "This conversation is over."

The only thing wrong with you (or me for that matter) is thinking there is something wrong with you.

Jeff Pyro · 12-28-2011, 10:44 PM

As much as anyone loves their mom, I just have to say that I hate mi e mostly because of the dumb bs I get. I take care of myself and she says I'm not responsible, she's always saying I'm fat (which I'm not) and goes on about how I won't get in shale or do anything because I'm unmotivated. I had almost perfect straight A's in highschool and she still nagged me saying I had to study and work harder I NEVER studied and got A's And then I'd get yelled at even more when I got something of an A- to a B. Always been nagged about what I'm doing and who my friends should be. Other than that she's SORT OF calming down and being nicer toward me.
Shes almost always nicer to my older sister however...

monster · 12-29-2011, 05:20 PM

How do you feel about pillows, Jeff? And is she a tiger mom, perchance?

12-27-2011, 12:55 PM	#40
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Wow, they talk about what's wrong with you where you can HEAR them? Hmmm. Alls I get is whispers and looks. There ain't nuthin' wrong with UT As far as I can see. Last edited by infinite monkey; 12-27-2011 at 01:06 PM.

12-27-2011, 02:10 PM	#41
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I only know a tiny part of the human being that is Tony. What I know about him is that HE has helped ME in many ways and has always been compassionate and understanding about it, about me and my shortcomings. The part of Tony that I know is kind, compassionate, rational, level-headed, witty and above all, scarily intelligent. I don't know what goes on annually, or monthly, or daily with you. But I do know that you are a fighter who is rational. Sometimes having all your faults lined up for inspection is exactly what you DON"T need. I'll bet it was meant in all love; but sometimes you just have to do it yourself. Hugs, Tony. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

12-27-2011, 06:09 PM	#42
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Sorry, UT. Family criticisms are the easiest to find and the hardest to suffer. Maybe you and Sundae should host an international exchange-mom program. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

12-27-2011, 06:52 PM	#43
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	My mother made me an undertoad. Really? If I buy her the yarn do you think she'd make me one too? UT, I just learned a month ago, from my therapist, that I am allowed to decide what my boundaries are. It is awesome when you know that you can say "This conversation is over." The only thing wrong with you (or me for that matter) is thinking there is something wrong with you. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

12-29-2011, 05:20 PM	#45
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	How do you feel about pillows, Jeff? And is she a tiger mom, perchance? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-22-2011, 03:22 AM	#37
bard3579 Guest Posts: n/a	I never felt close to my mother or father, I think because we were so absolutely different in our thinking, on big or small issues. For instance my parents are bigots plain and simple, they hate everyone who is not them. Even when I was 3 or4 I would argue with them about this. We also has very little physical affection. When I got older I had an Israeli friend who gave me 'hug therapy'. She actually had to teach me to be warm, thank goodness before I had my own daughters. My mother also thinks I sold all the gifts she gave me over the years. It's really strange, Even now she nose around my house for things she gave me when I was 10. Ironically, she threw away little treasures from my childhood I would have kept but I still have a few little bits of jewelry from back then that I never got rid of. Who needs this aggravation?

12-27-2011, 12:19 PM	#39
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	The 8th annual "What's wrong with UT" marathon, held every year at this time, ended suddenly today when I told everyone firmly that the session was over and thanks for their help but I was not going to participate in the discussion any longer. The session was triply painful this year because I agreed that there are probably some big things wrong with me. At almost the same time, I described my life in terms of a slow, 30-year suicide whilst trying to make a point in a Facebook discussion. This convinced everyone that I might actually be suicidal, and this in turn permitted the session to go into long hours and hours of what is precisely wrong with me, and where everything went wrong. Negotiations were held on who would pay to fix me and what the terms of that would be. The negotiations broke down when I refused to provide detailed reports on the steps I am taking to improve.

12-28-2011, 10:44 PM	#44
Jeff Pyro Neophyte-in-training Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 5	As much as anyone loves their mom, I just have to say that I hate mi e mostly because of the dumb bs I get. I take care of myself and she says I'm not responsible, she's always saying I'm fat (which I'm not) and goes on about how I won't get in shale or do anything because I'm unmotivated. I had almost perfect straight A's in highschool and she still nagged me saying I had to study and work harder I NEVER studied and got A's And then I'd get yelled at even more when I got something of an A- to a B. Always been nagged about what I'm doing and who my friends should be. Other than that she's SORT OF calming down and being nicer toward me. Shes almost always nicer to my older sister however...

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