younger woman with older man

[greatkaven]

Did I mention that my 'wife' is 7 years my junior and that we have a 1 year old son together and that she is currently preggers again. She left before we knew that she was pregnant again. DO you think this changes anything?

[Sun_Sparkz]

I think you owe it to your wife to let her know what the deal is. If you want to go on a few dates with this even younger woman, I would let your wife and mother of your 2 children know what is going on because your wife is going to be in your life now forever because of your kids - you have got to be honest with her. and then be honest with yourself.

[greatkaven]

Well I am honest with her, but she has a new boyfriend whom she says she is not in love with but when we found out that she was pregnant again she did confess that they had been sleeping together, up until that time she was telling me that they hadn't had any sexual contact and were just 'friends'./ But since we didn't know how far along she was she didn't know if it was mine or his. (talk about springer shit).

[Sun_Sparkz]

So whose is it? yours or his? If the baby belongs to him you have a long road ahead.... maybe you should give this younger girl a chance after all?

[yesman065]

I say try and see what the new girl is all about. If your wife was cheating on you anyway then she failed in that relationship - not you. If she is hookin up with some other guy while pregnant, then there are all kinds of issues involved. That may want you to try again, but in the long run you've gotta follow your heart. If you aren't internally happy then nothing will work. Good luck

[greatkaven]

Yesman- your right. I was never really happy with the wife, now that I think about it I'm not that upset about gtting a divorce, I will give the younger girl a shot. What have I got to lose. Thank you everone

[yesman065]

Just thought I'd post an update to my insanity for you all. Miss Undecided has now left her b/f for good, again, and I have been reduced to a "friend with benefits" which is just fine for me. How many 41 year olds can say they have a 23 yr old ex model callin them for a booty call?!?!? WEll I'm also dating another woman (40) who I used to know from 20 yrs ago. Life marches on whether we like it or not. Me? I'm just along for the ride and havin a good time while I'm still young enough to smile. My new lighter approach to life - thanks to many of you guys & gals - is keepin me busy and happy. Onward

[xoxoxoBruce]

Good for you.

[Aliantha]

I once dated a man who was a fair bit older than me. Actually, the father of my two kids is 13yrs older than me. He's the juvenile though...and that's all I'm saying about that. Back to the other bloke. He was 50 and I was about 28. We were never really serious although when we were dating neither of us was seeing anyone else. I never really wanted anything from him, and I don't think he ever expected anything much from me although I have a feeling that he was a bit more into the relationship than I was. We stayed friends after we stopped dating though but we don't see each other anymore. Sometimes I think the best thing about dating someone where the age difference is greater than usual is that you both 'expect' each other to behave a certain way, so that when it happens, it's not a surprise so things are easier.

[Outside The Box]

It is only my opinion, but I have experienced more relationships defined by this subject than most men I know, and I have had many pleasant experiences. If people think in terms of life long relationships, lasting from say age 20 to into the late 80's, I would agree, one should find a woman maybe 5 years older than the man. This is not the case anymore, and I think we have all been conditioned to focus on only one small part of what would make a heterosexual relationship, a memorable one! Sex is great, and I won't debate that issue, but it's the shortest lasting part of what I consider a great relationship. If a relationship is based on sex alone, it is doomed moreso than if it is based on what I call love. My definition of love is the ability to put someone else, before yourself. To put their needs, their happiness before your own. In such a selfish, self centered society, as we have become, love is just a word, that rings hollow as we see a climbing divorce rate, because people have confused Lust for Love! When the thrill is gone, in the bedroom, they think love is DEAD. They never experienced love in the first place, or they wouldn't be so quick to exit the marriage!

My relationships with the "younger woman" has been most rewarding for not only myself, but for those I have come to know, deeply and with deep understanding that has touched the mind, body and soul. I have enjoyed opening the younger woman's mind, to what she should expect when love has touched her life. Love is a giving thing, not a taking one! I've told them that I don't wish to be selfish and keep them a prisoner to my wants and needs, but that I wish to raise their standards, as to what to look for in a man. If a man should love them, they will know, that his needs many times comes before hers. This is love, not a sex scene that will only be rembered, but never equally repeated. Sex is only one form of communication as one who mature knows there are many. I have never wanted to be selfish and been a woman's diary from 16 to her last writings as she's reached her 80's. I want to be but a chapter in her book, the one she often refers to, the one with the worn pages, that she returns to wishing to relive some of her happiest and most rewarding days of her memories. I would rather be only one chapter in a woman's life, but the best one, than the entire book, that would be boring reading after the Honeymoon is over!
Her youth inspires my actions, inspires my ability to touch places in her mind that have never been discovered. To truely make love to a woman, you must first make love to her mind, and then the physical love will be a culmination of all of her dreams and fantasies you have opened her mind to enjoy. The best things in life are not measured by quantity of time, but by quality of time, and they are not actions mimicked, but the adventure of discovery, each day, a new adventure. If those who would like to cast a verdict on age differences, with the haste of words only Dr. Laura can cast, they are just making wild generalizations. In the Orient, a woman is not taught to love by a teen age boy, but by one of the wiser older men, who is not there to do anything more than to give her the wisdom to indulge in love, the physical, the mental and all of the possiblilities her imagination can gift her with. The Giesha is not revered for her sexual ability alone, that is just a part of her great allure. She is the total woman, and only when a woman can gain wisdom, from a man who may have it, will her self esteem, self worth and total life's achievements have the opportunity to be realized!
I said this is my opinion, but the more I experience life, as I have.. the more I feel this to be true! True and mature love will last in her memories till the day she dies. This will not be from the first young boy that steals her virginity, and runs away... but from the man that shares, cares, and let's her heart fly like a Dove, always in search of what she knows, is true love....

[laebedahs]

I'm in the opposite situation of this thread's title. I am a younger man, as some of you may know, wanting to be with a woman who is 16 years my senior (she just turned 39 this past month, and I'll be 23 in a few months). She is mature, funny, self-reliant, and her opinions do not sway with the changing of the wind, all of which I love. She wants to be with me but thinks I can't handle the age difference.

Now, my parents have their age difference and it works. They've been married for 6 years now, I think - my mom and my stepdad are who I'm referring to. They are 11 years apart, she is the older one. He is 38 and she is 48.

Have any guys or gals here been it a situation similar to this? The opposite situation of tha parent poster, I mean - so you would have to be the older one if you were female, or the younger one if you were male.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Welcome to the Cellar, Outside The Box.

Originally Posted by Outside The Box

SNIP~~ My definition of love is the ability to put someone else, before yourself. To put their needs, their happiness before your own.

More women have managed to do this than men. The result is a bunch of bitter widows railing at there children when they don't call.

SNIP~
I've told them that I don't wish to be selfish and keep them a prisoner to my wants and needs, but that I wish to raise their standards, as to what to look for in a man. ~SNIP~ I have never wanted to be selfish and been a woman's diary from 16 to her last writings as she's reached her 80's. I want to be but a chapter in her book, the one she often refers to, the one with the worn pages, that she returns to wishing to relive some of her happiest and most rewarding days of her memories.

You sure have a flowery way of putting notches in your headboard.

Her youth inspires my actions, inspires my ability to touch places in her mind that have never been discovered. To truely make love to a woman, you must first make love to her mind, and then the physical love will be a culmination of all of her dreams and fantasies you have opened her mind to enjoy. The best things in life are not measured by quantity of time, but by quality of time, and they are not actions mimicked, but the adventure of discovery, each day, a new adventure. If those who would like to cast a verdict on age differences, with the haste of words only Dr. Laura can cast, they are just making wild generalizations. In the Orient, a woman is not taught to love by a teen age boy, but by one of the wiser older men, who is not there to do anything more than to give her the wisdom to indulge in love, the physical, the mental and all of the possiblilities her imagination can gift her with. The Giesha is not revered for her sexual ability alone, that is just a part of her great allure. She is the total woman, and only when a woman can gain wisdom, from a man who may have it, will her self esteem, self worth and total life's achievements have the opportunity to be realized!
I said this is my opinion, but the more I experience life, as I have.. the more I feel this to be true! True and mature love will last in her memories till the day she dies. This will not be from the first young boy that steals her virginity, and runs away... but from the man that shares, cares, and let's her heart fly like a Dove, always in search of what she knows, is true love....

You sound like my college roommate, you wouldn't be a deciple of Ayn Rand would you?

[Trilby]

I thought he was just trying to score.

[Sundae]

I have never wanted to be selfish and been a woman's diary from 16 to her last writings as she's reached her 80's. I want to be but a chapter in her book

Hang on, why would you go into a relationship with someone you didn't care enough about to stay with?

I want to be but a chapter in her book, the one she often refers to, the one with the worn pages, that she returns to wishing to relive some of her happiest and most rewarding days of her memories.

In my book that would be the chapter that ended, "and then he dumped me for a younger woman. Great - my most attractive, fertile and baggage-free years wasted on someone who saw me as a chapter!"

[FallenFairy]

Lord knows I love Ayn Rand!~

I am currently in a relationship with a man 11 years my senior - He's mature, laid-back, completely at ease with himself, his kids are grown, his baggage is non-existant, he knows what he wants, when and with whom...
LIFE IS GOOD.
Now that we are together I have to admit that I wonder what I was doing ever dating men my own age.