How far is too far?

[Aliantha]

Maybe it's too soon to post this thread, but the recent events on this forum have really got me wondering about what's right and wrong about posting pics on the internet, or sharing them via pm.

After the initial post about the drama, I asked Dazza if he cared about me posting pics of my boobs etc online or in particular this site, and he said it didn't bother him at all. In fact, he didn't say so, but he seemed to get a bit turned on by the thought. I wouldn't care if he posted pics of his private parts online, particularly on a site that we both went to (not that there is one but you get my point). It's not something we've ever discussed, but I've never posted anything online since I've been with Dazza that I felt ashamed of or thought he'd have a problem with. Turns out I was right, and I guess that was somewhat of a relief after what's just happened. (yes I know there's more to it, but I'm just sticking to the pictures thing here for myself)

For those of you in relationships, do you tell your partner about the pics you post online? Do you ever post anything you think they might not be happy with? Do you think it's right that a partner has a say in what content you choose to share online?

Personally I think if you're in a relationship and your partner isn't happy about it you shouldn't do it. I don't think it's a control issue although on the surface it may seem that way. I think it's about respecting what is good and right according to you and your partners moral values and if there's a discrepancy, then it's not just that issue at stake. It must surely cover many other aspects of your lives together. That's my way of thinking about it anyway. So it's more than just whether or not you're breaking trust or offending your partner. It's about what each of you is willing or happy to accept in order to live a good life together. Fortunately, Dazza and I seem to have similar ideas on this, but it must be tough for some couples who love each other, but have different ideas about this sort of thing.

[Beestie]

I could be a little on the conservative side but I considered the whole thread to be getting into dangerous territory long before it did.

I'm not saying 'I saw it coming' because I didn't see it coming. But that what happened did happen didn't come as a big surprise - not so much the who but the what.

Whether I'd have a problem if my wife wanted to post NSFW pics - I suppose I would - it turns privacy inside out. I don't impute that opinion on anyone else, it just doesn't work for me.

Shortly after the thread started - maybe a third of the way into it, something changed.

[Alluvial]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

For those of you in relationships, do you tell your partner about the pics you post online? Do you ever post anything you think they might not be happy with? Do you think it's right that a partner has a say in what content you choose to share online?

I don't tell him what I post; OTOH what I post is G-rated.

As you've said, each couple is going to be different, and between two people there will be differences. The meat of the coconut is this: what constitutes "OK" behavior and "Not OK" behaviour needs to be hashed out by the couple. Doesn't matter if you're monogamous, polyamorous, whatever. For the partners to be able to trust one another, there must be agreed-upon guidelines and the guidelines must be observed, whatever they may be.

So, I say yes, partners should have a say; not so much from an aspect of 'controlling' one another, but from an aspect of 'I'm not going to post this out of respect for the relationship' or 'I'm going to talk this over with my partner before posting it'.

[Aliantha]

I didn't really want to rehash what's been said in the other thread, just for the record. It just got me thinking about my personal relationship and what I think is ok.

[monster]

We have no secrets. but we don't have bods of gods either...

[Juniper]

I already said I wasn't doing it...but honestly, I think my DH would be more upset about my posting stuff about our personal relationship than he would about posting photos. Talking about him behind his back, so to speak. I have a bad habit of doing that and not knowing where to draw the line. I always have, whether it's online or in real life with my friends.

[xoxoxoBruce]

All wives do that with their friends, Juni.

[ZenGum]

Blokes just make locker-room boasts.

Much difference?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Yes, much difference between locker room boasts and bitching about husbands.

Ever hear a guy in the locker room boast about the ugly chick that was a lousy lay?

[TheMercenary]

Eh. We we do it and don't care much about what other people think but we respect their boundries. We have a relationship that is comfortable enough to enjoy how we look to each other and we occasionally share those pics on line with others. We have no secrets from each other and she knows about every pic I have posted and I know of every pic she has posted. We have fun with it. We are comfortable with our bodies, and our relationship. No worries. We go to nude beaches when we can, sun bathe nude in the privacy of our yard and on our boat, and have gotten nude with other couples in our hot tub. All of it social, rarely ever sexual. It has been like that our whole life. Some people are not comfortable with it and you have to respect that and what their boundries are for themselves and what they expect from others. I made a decision that I was not going to have hang ups about it and I raised my kids not to have hang ups about it either (I think).

[capnhowdy]

I've always said: If you got it... flaunt it. We should all be proud of who we are.

[ZenGum]

How far is too far?


When her screams take on that raw, jagged edge.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

For those of you in relationships, do you tell your partner about the pics you post online? Do you ever post anything you think they might not be happy with? Do you think it's right that a partner has a say in what content you choose to share online?

I've pretty much stayed out of the Dwellar NSFW threads, because I know my wife wouldn't appreciate me even reading it, let alone posting anything in it.

[Queen of the Ryche]

I've stayed away from the NSFW threads too because I like the smiley people I know in the RFN thread, etc. Somehow seeing people nekkid seems to change the dynamic for me, and I like you all the way you are. As fas as me or my SO, neither of us would be comfy with each other sharing pics with others - to us that is a personal, private thing to share with your partner, not the general public. (Or your family, whih I kinda sorta consider youse guys.)

[classicman]

glatt and Queenie - I'm right there with both of you.