Stupid Texas

SamIam · 01-03-2010, 07:49 PM

One of my closest friends is relocating to Texas at the end of the month. I can understand people doing the opposite and coming to Colorado. But what on earth is in Texas?? I'll tell you: smashed armadillos in the middle of the road, tumble weeds big enough to carry away poodles, flat, flat, flat as far as the eye can see, women wearing what amounts to masks of Mary Kay cosmetics, summers that only a bedoin can withstand, and last but not least - the Bush family.

And guess what my friend is going to do? Sell avertisements on bar glasses. Like "Drunk? Called the Armadillo Cab Company!" or "DUI? Call GW's second cousin. We got GW off and we'll get you off!"

You can't tell me a person can make a living selling ads on bar classes. The patrons are two sauced to read them, anyhow.

And why is she really going? To take up with an old BF named Steve who lives in the Plano/OK Dallas area. If he wasn't right the first time around, why should he be right this time? He probably spends all his time trying to decipher the writing on bar glasses.

I want to throw my body in front of my friend's U-Haul, but I don't think this would stop her. So, I'm writing this hate letter to Texas instead. Somebody should have bombed the place years ago./end rant

xoxoxoBruce · 01-03-2010, 07:53 PM

That's right, when you lose someone you love, blame their paramor... damn Texas.

Flint · 01-03-2010, 08:11 PM

Quote:

...the Plano/Houston area...

Plano and Houston are 300 miles away from each other.
So, I can see that your fact-checking is at least consistent.

SamIam · 01-03-2010, 08:13 PM

Sorry. Plano/Dallas. All the Texas cities run together for me.

spudcon · 01-03-2010, 08:37 PM

Sam, you sound a little jealous.

jinx · 01-03-2010, 08:43 PM

SamIam · 01-03-2010, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spudcon

Sam, you sound a little jealous.

I wouldn't mind a BF, but not one in Texas. Did you know they wear alligator skin boots there?

Cloud · 01-03-2010, 09:14 PM

I've never owned a pair of alligator skin boots in my life

SamIam · 01-03-2010, 09:17 PM

I bet you wear snakeskin ones, then.

morethanpretty · 01-03-2010, 09:35 PM

I have uncles in Colorado who would probably both wear alligator skin boots, if they don't already. Neither are from Texas. I've never worn boots of snake, alligator, ostrich or cow.
I don't wear makeup, I did buy mary kay from a friend to help her out one time.
The Bush family is not representative of this state, just like Columbine doesn't define Colorado.
The heat ain't so bad, that's what air conditioning is for. As least we don't have cold bad enough we need to grow a fur coat to survive.

Just because you choose to be ignorant of our state doesn't mean I'm gonna let you get away with insulting it.

Steve might have been right the first time around, the timing could have been wrong. Or it could be that people change, he could have been wrong, or your friend could have been and now that has changed. All that could be different now, second chances exist for a reason. I'm sorry you're losing your friend. Hope you come to terms with it soon enough.

Come visit you might get a chance to see a real live jack-a-lope.

You really don't want to get Dallas and Houston mixed up. For 1 you'll be about an 8hr drive off your mark. The weather varies widely, so does the pollution. Also, Houston has more cancer. No seriously, they do. There have been studies. Its the chemical industry. Please don't hate me Houston!

One last thing, Texas is THE fastest growing state in the US, a lot of people are making the same choice your friend is.

BrianR · 01-03-2010, 09:36 PM

I'll see your complaints about Texas, and raise you. I live in what I euphemistically call the Asshole of Texas. No one gets it here.

Flint · 01-03-2010, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamIam

All the Texas cities run together for me.

Perfectly understandable, considering your razor-sharp powers of discernment.
I mean, twenty-five million people are bound to be a homogeneous group, right?

dar512 · 01-03-2010, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

I mean, twenty-five million people are bound to be a homogeneous group, right?

I thought it was against the law to be homogeneous in Texas.

Clodfobble · 01-03-2010, 11:10 PM

Not since the Supreme Court struck down that law. We've been rampantly homogenous since then.

Cloud · 01-03-2010, 11:14 PM

I think the state is irrelavent, and therefore you are being unfair. It's stupid Some-other-State-Than-Where-I-Am and my friend is moving away from me for a guy. Could be Timbuktu. and no, I have no idea what state that's in.

and Brian, there are lots worse places than our city. Like the one a stone's throw away in another country.

01-03-2010, 07:49 PM	#1
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Stupid Texas One of my closest friends is relocating to Texas at the end of the month. I can understand people doing the opposite and coming to Colorado. But what on earth is in Texas?? I'll tell you: smashed armadillos in the middle of the road, tumble weeds big enough to carry away poodles, flat, flat, flat as far as the eye can see, women wearing what amounts to masks of Mary Kay cosmetics, summers that only a bedoin can withstand, and last but not least - the Bush family. And guess what my friend is going to do? Sell avertisements on bar glasses. Like "Drunk? Called the Armadillo Cab Company!" or "DUI? Call GW's second cousin. We got GW off and we'll get you off!" You can't tell me a person can make a living selling ads on bar classes. The patrons are two sauced to read them, anyhow. And why is she really going? To take up with an old BF named Steve who lives in the Plano/OK Dallas area. If he wasn't right the first time around, why should he be right this time? He probably spends all his time trying to decipher the writing on bar glasses. I want to throw my body in front of my friend's U-Haul, but I don't think this would stop her. So, I'm writing this hate letter to Texas instead. Somebody should have bombed the place years ago./end rant Last edited by SamIam; 01-03-2010 at 08:18 PM. Reason: You've seen one Texas city, you've seen 'em all

01-03-2010, 07:53 PM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	That's right, when you lose someone you love, blame their paramor... damn Texas. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-03-2010, 08:37 PM	#5
spudcon Beware of potatoes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA Posts: 2,078	Sam, you sound a little jealous. __________________ "I believe that being despised by the despicable is as good as being admired by the admirable."

01-03-2010, 08:43 PM	#6
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	__________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

01-03-2010, 09:14 PM	#8
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I've never owned a pair of alligator skin boots in my life __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

01-03-2010, 08:13 PM	#4
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Sorry. Plano/Dallas. All the Texas cities run together for me.

01-03-2010, 09:17 PM	#9
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	I bet you wear snakeskin ones, then.

01-03-2010, 09:35 PM	#10
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	I have uncles in Colorado who would probably both wear alligator skin boots, if they don't already. Neither are from Texas. I've never worn boots of snake, alligator, ostrich or cow. I don't wear makeup, I did buy mary kay from a friend to help her out one time. The Bush family is not representative of this state, just like Columbine doesn't define Colorado. The heat ain't so bad, that's what air conditioning is for. As least we don't have cold bad enough we need to grow a fur coat to survive. Just because you choose to be ignorant of our state doesn't mean I'm gonna let you get away with insulting it. Steve might have been right the first time around, the timing could have been wrong. Or it could be that people change, he could have been wrong, or your friend could have been and now that has changed. All that could be different now, second chances exist for a reason. I'm sorry you're losing your friend. Hope you come to terms with it soon enough. Come visit you might get a chance to see a real live jack-a-lope. You really don't want to get Dallas and Houston mixed up. For 1 you'll be about an 8hr drive off your mark. The weather varies widely, so does the pollution. Also, Houston has more cancer. No seriously, they do. There have been studies. Its the chemical industry. Please don't hate me Houston! One last thing, Texas is THE fastest growing state in the US, a lot of people are making the same choice your friend is. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

01-03-2010, 09:36 PM	#11
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	I'll see your complaints about Texas, and raise you. I live in what I euphemistically call the Asshole of Texas. No one gets it here. __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

01-03-2010, 11:10 PM	#14
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Not since the Supreme Court struck down that law. We've been rampantly homogenous since then. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

01-03-2010, 11:14 PM	#15
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I think the state is irrelavent, and therefore you are being unfair. It's stupid Some-other-State-Than-Where-I-Am and my friend is moving away from me for a guy. Could be Timbuktu. and no, I have no idea what state that's in. and Brian, there are lots worse places than our city. Like the one a stone's throw away in another country. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

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