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Juju's Place Introspection, Lucidity, and Epiphanies |
View Poll Results: What should Jan hope for? | |||
Lawyer | 6 | 50.00% | |
Lover | 2 | 16.67% | |
Miracle | 4 | 33.33% | |
Voters: 12. You may not vote on this poll |
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06-04-2003, 01:09 PM | #16 | |
Infrequently Astonished
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Baltimore metro area
Posts: 324
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In the case of Juju's couple, I think divorce would be best for all, including the kids. I had to make a similarly difficult decision with my marriage (not over sexual orientation, but a serious mental-health problem) after 15 years and three kids. Complicating matters was that we didn't hate each other, we were both good parents, and we enjoyed each other's company. Nevertheless, we are all better off now, separated, than we were three years ago.
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Overcompensating for the 0.56% that is irredeemably corrupted. |
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06-04-2003, 01:53 PM | #17 | |
still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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06-04-2003, 05:17 PM | #18 | |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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She can tell he's not enjoying sex because he makes faces? Bwhahahahahahahahahaha. If you ever watched someones face while their having sex (not on camera) you'd think they were being tortured. Except the wives that have a sandwitch and do their nails, that is.LOL Anyway, what to do? The only way they can stay together is if they both get it through their thick fucking heads that neither one of them is a failure. Be realistic about what their situation is. Decide if there is enough love and common interest (NOT THE KID) to stay together without a "normal" sexual relationship. They can still have sex but it will have to be tailored to their tastes. If they can't do ALL of those things, and I doubt if their religion will let them, then they're better off apart.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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06-04-2003, 07:53 PM | #19 | |
no one of consequence
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 2,839
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06-04-2003, 08:08 PM | #20 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 12,486
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I think sexual orientation is primarily an issue of nature, though it can certainly be affected by nurture. There was a study being done when I was in my last year of college...something involving one of the pairs of chromosomes...the 21st pair I believe. I haven't heard anything since, but it sounded interesting.
IIRC (Wolf might know better than me), homosexuality was removed from the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, fourth edition--the psychologist's bible) in the late 70s/early 80s. The bottom line with your friends, juju, is that they need to have a serious heart-to-heart. If they think they can make it work, great. If not, they need to cut their losses...now. And quite frankly, they need to find a way to take religion out of it. (Though that's a whole 'nother matter.) |
06-05-2003, 01:22 AM | #21 |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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Homosexuality was considered a mental disorder in DSM-II ... but was taken out in the DSM-III revision.
What IS a diagnosable disorder (although I don't know if there's a formal name for it and I'm too damn tired to bother to look it up) would be when an individual is SO discomforted by their sexual orientation that it causes significant problems in their ability to function. I voted "lawyer" in the poll, but would have voted "shrink" or "marriage counsellor" if those choices had been available. There are likely more issues in the marriage than are described here. Getting a third-party negotiator can help majorly in figuring out where to go from here ... find some compromise and stay together, or start taking the steps that will lead to the eventual dissolution of the marriage.
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wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
06-05-2003, 03:02 AM | #22 |
Breathing into a paper bag
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Ohio
Posts: 334
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what about just staying married, and finding a friend to blow off some of that unused sexual energy? didn't america think that was acceptable back in the 70s?
after all, bell bottoms are back................
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06-05-2003, 08:33 AM | #23 | ||
He who reads, sometimes writes.
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: at the keyboard
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Re: Re: 06/03/03: Is being gay a choice?
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My mother, who taught the first grade for a number of years, told me that she could pick out a kid or two in the class that were destined for gaydom. Sometimes they were little boys that had the mannerisms and interests that would make them flamers if they were adults. Other times they weren't as pronounced, but had more of an affliction for the same sex. Some things might be predisposed, regardless of genetics. Quote:
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06-05-2003, 04:43 PM | #24 | |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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06-05-2003, 07:22 PM | #25 | |
a real smartass
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Location: Kirkland, WA
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06-05-2003, 08:14 PM | #26 | |
Breathing into a paper bag
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Ohio
Posts: 334
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well, of course health cards and references would need to be checked....maybe bonded and insured...maybe bondage... but, hey!
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Taking up smoking to lose weight. |
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06-05-2003, 11:30 PM | #27 | |
in the Hour of Scampering
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Jeffersonville PA (15 mi NW of Philadelphia)
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I'm also reminded of the old Masters and Johinson quote about religious orthodoxy as being a primary cause of sexual dysfunction.
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06-06-2003, 12:03 AM | #28 |
Umm ... yeah.
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Arkansas, USA
Posts: 949
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Ya know, I gave this some thought and I don't get this guys deal. Why refuse to be who you are? I understand the religion being against it, but there are churches that don't go with that idea.
Also, I figure if you are attracted to someone, and they are likewise interested go for it. Heck, I wouldn't even try to date a chic that had an appearance I found unappealing. I can't imagine going to a different gender. Oh well, I don't understand organized religion either. I wonder about the origins of the marrige though. If the guy was physicaly attracted to dudes, and she knew, wtf? I mean how much sex could she have expected when she isn't even his prefered gender? Did they discuss these issues?
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06-06-2003, 12:18 AM | #29 |
no one of consequence
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 2,839
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Well, first, they don't consider him to be gay. He's "chosen" not to be, and is therefore hetero in their eyes. She did know of his gay experiences, but figured that was all in his past, so what difference does it make? Therefore, he's not gay. If you accused him of it, he'd probably be insulted.
As to why they got married, they'd been very good friends for quite a long time. And you know how women get when they start to get older. They feel inadequate if they're not married, so they start bugging the crap out of the closet guy they're to. Cut to several years later, and they're having a baby. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that they picked the exact date that the egg dropped to have sex, just because that's what Kathy said her friends from college did. Last edited by juju; 06-06-2003 at 12:21 AM. |
06-06-2003, 12:05 PM | #30 | |
hot
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
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But deep down, he knows he's gay and that he's never gonna change. I bet he fantasizes about banging a dude on those rare occasions where he fucks his wife. She may believe his act, but he sure as hell isn't fooling himself. |
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