QUESTIONS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

[Aliantha]

I didn't know gannet had a reputation around this place for being a bit of a nut.

Still, I don't think it hurts to answer questions reasonably and I would have posted the same thing had I known anyway.

[xoxoxoBruce]

How the fuck are you going to answer the questions reasonably? You have nothing to work with.
All you can do is create your own scenario in your head and answer the questions as they apply to that scenario.
How can that apply to "this non-hypothetical matter"?

[Aliantha]

Well you can see how I responded to the thread. *shrugs* The questions seemed to be almost the exact same ones I'd asked myself about a friendship that ended.

I just took them at face value without reading anything much into them.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

All you can do is create your own scenario in your head and answer the questions as they apply to that scenario.
How can that apply to "this non-hypothetical matter"?

Exactly, Nothing applys because we have no background information so our assumptions are faulty.


His first question is quite revealing so I hope it is a step up for a christian analogy but then the words 'non hypothetical' make me think not.

I'm askeered for person #1 because of it too. Unless person #1 is him or herself. Then they should definatly but the 4th way books down and see a real good psychiatrist.

[Shawnee123]

Wait for it.

[Gannet495]

> I recommend sharing a spam sandwich.

spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam =)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wZ7YedEopp4


> Maybe the second guy preached so much that it seemed to the first guy to be more important to the second than the friendship, so he split.
> Well, this Gannet has certainly stirred up a ruckus. I wonder if 495 is the number of friends he or she lost to heavy-handed proselytizing.


(bugs bunny voice) its a possibility! of course you gotta stick to your principles.



> Nothing like a common enemy to unite us, eh?

sigh... Psa 2:1 Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?
Isa 54:15 Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

Why would you want to be united against me again? You hate Jesus or something?



> I think the first person has realised that people grow and change, and the second needs to realise this. I think the second person is in love with the first person, but that is not requited.

but if a person is growing and changing into a person who does not keep their promises, is that not a regression in character rather than progress? if there's true growth, then a person's word should mean something.



> a) What do you mean what should happen to them? I'm wondering what drove the person to break a promise? abuse? highhandedness? superiority complex? cheapness? There could be so many negatives. Maybe they are afraid your a psycho axe murderer hiding behind an enlightened spiritual philosophy. *shrug*

so you think it might be something i did that made them go?




> I think the mere question proves an inability to point the finger at oneself.

its possible, thanks for the input. spiritual people are often known for their hypocrisy and lack of self-reflection.






b) Send them a large chunk of money to prove your love. * cough * oh and then walk away.

lol. tried that.



> Nothing. Remaining in a friendship solely in obligation to a vow is idiocy.

then what good is a vow?




> He should tell him unambiguously and in person that he will always be available, and then leave him alone.

so simply leave the door open and fugetaboutit? if they come back, cool, if not, then `whatever'?




> Maybe the second person became a bit of an ass.

its entirely possible




> Find a new friend.

hello cellarites.




> Aliantha's story

thank you Aliantha for a helpful story and comment. that was definitely the most useful reply of the bunch. God bless you.




> Vows?... not without clairvoyance.

so you never give your word? or if you do, do you not consider it something which should never be broken? what about the reputation of your name then?




> (yes, my wife and I wrote our own vows and they did not say forever nor did they say only each other, those were personal promises that have "understandings" that go with them)

how... odd. but to each his own.



> I don't think about it that much lately, but when I read the first post on this thread it just sounded so similar to my situation so I thought I'd share. I don't know if the advice is good or not. From where I see it, there's really not much choice but to move on and let it go.

yea there's not much of a choice. just wondering how to deal with the feelings and make sure it doesn't happen again. i understand there will be conflicts between gospel-preachers and other doubtful people, but the two people in this story are Christians, and both are expected to abide by a certain high standard of behavior and character. I wouldn't expect a heathen to keep their promises, but I do expect Christians to, since they have been born again.




> So do you think gannet will come back and explain the questions he posed to us?

what would you like me to explain? i'm just wondering if anything like that has happened to you, and how you dealt with it, hoping i can glean any decent advice from your posts. i simply ignore the mockery, counting it as all joy to suffer for the name of my Lord Jesus.




> I don't know if gannet will come back. I think probably yes. Why else would someone start a thread?

i'm back, just had some things to do and wanted to give it some time to accumulate answers.



> I think most people would have similar stories from times during their lives.

that was my hope, and that you'd share.




> First of all, Gannet, I would like to apologize for my insensitivity yesterday; I wondered if this were some sort of hoax or simply, as I wrote earlier, proselytizing. At this point, it would appear that I was wrong.

I'm only telling people the good news about the resurrection of Jesus, you can believe it or not, its up to you. I don't proselytize, I inform. People can make their own decisions about the truth. I accept your apology and I too apologize if I've offended any of you. Thanks for having me here at the cellar, and I hope you will believe the good news of salvation.




> If you will allow me, I would like to welcome you to the Cellar.

thanks




> There are many good people here, with loads of heart.

and a decent sense of humor too!




> There can be a great deal of love to be felt, but I would like to caution against coming on too strongly with scripture quotation.

God's words are bread to man's soul. I just look at it as feeding you.

Mat 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.




> As can be readily seen, most here don't take to it when we feel it is being foisted upon us.

Well there's only 1 faith that leads to eternal life, and I would like to see all of you in heaven, forgiven all your sins by Christ's blood. Simple as that. I'm not foisting a new law upon you, but grace and mercy through the son of God.



> Well, Bruce, that very quote could simply be taken as a genuine request for opinions.

as it was. i needed y'alls advice.




> While it still tends to come across as proselytizing, Gannet might wish to lighten up a bit and join the gang.

BINGO
=)




> Considering the questions asked, before demanding thorough answers in this non-hypothetical matter, are absolutely unanswerable without background information, how can it be anything but a set up for a sermon?

no set up, no sermon. just needed advice about an ex-friend who's a Christian. see, Christians are supposed to forgive each other, and I'm just trying to figure out why she has not, and whether she is really a Christian seeing as she cannot forgive.




> Perhaps, only time will tell. I admit freely that I am a big sucker; I fall for jokes and tricks far more than most others do. When I stop to think abut things, I'd rather look foolish while being too nice than just be brusque or nasty. I'm not saying that you are being rude; I just thought better of what I said yesterday.

nope, no tricks jokes or hoaxes. just a simple question with apparently not enough detail.





> I don't know. I'm certainly not going to feel bad about my posts. My relationship with God is my personal business, and it rankles me when someone talks down to a group of people because said group hasn't given away their DVD players and cans of pork-n-beans to the poor. This gannett knows not what my trials and tribulations have been.

why do you consider your relationship with God to be your personal business, seeing as God desires us to "love one another", clearly a call to social kindness.




> I also believe God has a sense of humor, or at least recognizes the importance of one in humans. With all my irreverent and dark comments, what is in my heart is good and means well.

Mat 7:18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.





> So, still, gannett can kiss my forsookin' ass. Fire and brimstone doesn't cut it in my world

your unbelief doesn't change the fact that a lake of fire does exist. i'm not here to have anyone kiss my ass or to kiss anyone's ass, merely to ask some questions and to state my opinion in a public forum in a free country.





> trying to be happy and stay sane and to make someone smile from time to time.

i hope it works for you.





> I think I figured it out. This is like one of the riddles, I mean parables, where you're walking around on the beach (at Ram Island, perhaps) and sometimes there are a bunch of footprints and sometimes the monkey jumps on your back and there are less footprints and sometimes there is just one set of prints and a big giant line where someone dragged you through the sand. Or something. I always forget how that story goes.

<chuckles> nice






> I think you should stalk her until she begs you for divine mercy and to be lead back into the flock. Can't you see when she needs your help? If she's a friend you need to make her repent. It's your duty.

it is my duty to urge her repent and to pull her out of the fire, anyone for that matter, if they err from the truth, so that they can be saved.




> God I hope I don't know you....do I know you?

you do now! lucky you huh





> gannet never came back to analyse our answers

that work for ya?

[Gannet495]

> I didn't know gannet had a reputation around this place for being a bit of a nut.

I don't. People only hate me because they hate Jesus.

[DanaC]

I wouldn't expect a heathen to keep their promises, but I do expect Christians to, since they have been born again.

Umm...I'm an atheist. I take my promises seriously.

> I think you should stalk her until she begs you for divine mercy and to be lead back into the flock. Can't you see when she needs your help? If she's a friend you need to make her repent. It's your duty.

it is my duty to urge her repent and to pull her out of the fire, anyone for that matter, if they err from the truth, so that they can be saved.

My guess is that's one sure fire way of making sure she never wants to come near you again.

The only advice I can offer you Gannet, is follow your instincts. It may be that your instincts lead you to act in a way that doesn't satisfactorily resolve the situation, or it may be that your instincts lead you to act in a way that does satisfactorily resolve the situation, but, at least you will have been true to yourself. That's all you can really do. You have no way of crawling inside this person's head and reading their thoughts. You only know your own.

[Cicero]

[quote=Gannet495;372321]
> I think you should stalk her until she begs you for divine mercy and to be lead back into the flock. Can't you see when she needs your help? If she's a friend you need to make her repent. It's your duty.

it is my duty to urge her repent and to pull her out of the fire, anyone for that matter, if they err from the truth, so that they can be saved.
QUOTE]

Bingo!! I call bingo.......

[glatt]

We have a winner!

[Happy Monkey]

Originally Posted by Gannet495

> Nothing. Remaining in a friendship solely in obligation to a vow is idiocy.

then what good is a vow?

Depends on what the vow is. It is impossible to remain friends because of a vow. If all that holds you together is obligation to a vow, then it is not a real friendship, and therefore your vow is broken anyway.

yea there's not much of a choice. just wondering how to deal with the feelings and make sure it doesn't happen again. i understand there will be conflicts between gospel-preachers and other doubtful people, but the two people in this story are Christians, and both are expected to abide by a certain high standard of behavior and character. I wouldn't expect a heathen to keep their promises, but I do expect Christians to, since they have been born again.

If you started talking like this after you were born again, then you may have to resign yourself to this happening again and again with any reasonable friends you still have.

[yesman065]

Well my "friend", I consider myself a Christian, and if you spoke to me like that IRL, I'd tell you where to stick it too.

[Gannet495]

> I'd tell you where to stick it too.

Where would that be?

[DanaC]

I'm guessing where the light of Saviour don't shine?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Gannet495

> I didn't know gannet had a reputation around this place for being a bit of a nut.

I don't. People only hate me because they hate Jesus.

That's the stupidest statement I've read in a very long time.