High School Graduation Party Etiquette?

monster · 05-21-2008, 10:14 PM

Your help please, merkin dwellars....

We know nothing about this -we're Brits. But we've been invited to two this year. What is polite form? One is an all day open house, the other -I think- shorter hours evening. The first is a daughter of Beest's colleague (cow orker) -we were all shipped out together, but don't really socialise much. The second is a girl at the summer pool -now the assistant coach on the swim team. we've known her for three years, but only see her in the summer really.

So presents? If so, approx value/equivalent value compared to -say- a birthday party present for a 10 year old? cards? how long to stay? etc? Any sensible advice appreciated. beest will be the judge of sensible, so enter the silliness zone at your own risk....

Clodfobble · 05-21-2008, 10:37 PM

Typically the present is money, or a gift card. A real present is possible if you really know the person's taste, but for the most part it's just like any other contrived party, like a baby shower or wedding shower. The amount of money really depends on how well you know them--pretend they're getting married, and spend what you would spend on a wedding present for them.

An all day open house is kind of a weird party format, IMHO, but what do I know?

Cloud · 05-21-2008, 10:57 PM

a card and a small gift--say, a gift certificate to Amazon to count toward college texts--if you don't know them well. How much depends on your budget and circumstances. A bigger and/or more personal gift if it's someone close to you.

How long to stay at the party? You're going to have to use your own judgment on that, based on how friendly you are with the family, and how good a time you're having. With an all day open house, an in-and-out hour or so, or even less, is okay.

Would the above be much different from British customs?

lumberjim · 05-21-2008, 11:00 PM

nothing says 'congratulations, you're growing up' like sex toys do!

whaddya mean 'shipped out'? were you forced to move to America?

seriously, a card with a $50 in it.

Cloud · 05-21-2008, 11:04 PM

$50 is nice if you can afford it--$25 would be okay, too. If it's likely to be a smaller celebration, try to be generous, but if there are hundreds of acquaintenances invited to the party, those smaller amounts add up.

If you don't want to give money or a gift card, you could try a gift of a book, which would have meaning to you or the young person in transition from one stage of life to another, with a personal inscription. Your gift would probably stand out from the crowd that way.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-22-2008, 01:31 AM

Show up drunk and naked, they won't remember whether you brought a gift or not.

Sundae · 05-22-2008, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud

Would the above be much different from British customs?

We don't have Graduation, therefore no parties. In fact after babyhood it is highly unlikely that parents will invite any (non family) adults to a party for their offspring.

So it's a new area for Brits.

DanaC · 05-22-2008, 05:12 AM

In the UK 'Graduation' is what you do when you complete your university degree. Secondary School (high school) is something you leave rather than something you graduate from. Likewise college.

What are the two young people graduating from?

Griff · 05-22-2008, 05:21 AM

US Americans are purty much dun wif lirnin so we gradgitate.

Shawnee123 · 05-22-2008, 07:47 AM

I've found that old and new family friends get invited to graduation open house parties. Maybe it's for the gift, but I've always enjoyed these get-togethers.

Money or gift cards are great...especially if the graduate is heading to college, and you don't know what they need. Gas cards are much appreciated these days.

Personal gifts are nice...but I don't think most people expect you to figure out what to get. I do, however, love Cloud's idea of a gift book.

classicman · 05-22-2008, 08:40 AM

Send 'em $20 in a gift card and wish them well. If you don't want to - then don't go. You won't be missed.

Cloud · 05-22-2008, 08:45 AM

Alternatively, a gift certificate to a piercing studio, for that right-of-passage piercing!

Seriously, kids in the UK don't celebrate getting out of secondary school? Is secondary education mandatory there? It is here, so perhaps it's a celebration of relief that they are no longer "required" to attend school.

Rights of passage are VERY important to commemorate!

glatt · 05-22-2008, 08:48 AM

I'm also with classic on $20 in a gift card.

Shawnee123 · 05-22-2008, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Send 'em $20 in a gift card and wish them well. If you don't want to - then don't go. You won't be missed.

A party such as this is a great opportunity for a single person to perhaps meet some other poor sap who felt obligated to go (not you monster and beest.) Ahem...:p

Sorry, my "look on the bright side" has not yet dwindled from the other day. I'll be back to my old surly self shortly.

Sundae · 05-22-2008, 08:50 AM

We can leave school at 16 by choice. If you leave at 18 you have completed 2 voluntary years of education.

Schoolkids celebrate leaving school, end of exams etc with their peers if at all. It's just not a formal occasion.

Also, exams are at the end of the summer term and those sitting them - 16 and 18 year olds - don't attend daily school. For example my last day in school was June 20th, my last exam July 11th. I didn't see many of my classmates from June onwards. We had a Last Exam get together, but only those taking History came because no-one else was in that day.

05-21-2008, 10:14 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	High School Graduation Party Etiquette? Your help please, merkin dwellars.... We know nothing about this -we're Brits. But we've been invited to two this year. What is polite form? One is an all day open house, the other -I think- shorter hours evening. The first is a daughter of Beest's colleague (cow orker) -we were all shipped out together, but don't really socialise much. The second is a girl at the summer pool -now the assistant coach on the swim team. we've known her for three years, but only see her in the summer really. So presents? If so, approx value/equivalent value compared to -say- a birthday party present for a 10 year old? cards? how long to stay? etc? Any sensible advice appreciated. beest will be the judge of sensible, so enter the silliness zone at your own risk.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-21-2008, 10:57 PM	#3
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	a card and a small gift--say, a gift certificate to Amazon to count toward college texts--if you don't know them well. How much depends on your budget and circumstances. A bigger and/or more personal gift if it's someone close to you. How long to stay at the party? You're going to have to use your own judgment on that, based on how friendly you are with the family, and how good a time you're having. With an all day open house, an in-and-out hour or so, or even less, is okay. Would the above be much different from British customs? __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-21-2008, 11:00 PM	#4
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	nothing says 'congratulations, you're growing up' like sex toys do! whaddya mean 'shipped out'? were you forced to move to America? seriously, a card with a $50 in it. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

05-21-2008, 11:04 PM	#5
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	$50 is nice if you can afford it--$25 would be okay, too. If it's likely to be a smaller celebration, try to be generous, but if there are hundreds of acquaintenances invited to the party, those smaller amounts add up. If you don't want to give money or a gift card, you could try a gift of a book, which would have meaning to you or the young person in transition from one stage of life to another, with a personal inscription. Your gift would probably stand out from the crowd that way. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-22-2008, 01:31 AM	#6
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Show up drunk and naked, they won't remember whether you brought a gift or not. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-21-2008, 10:37 PM	#2
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Typically the present is money, or a gift card. A real present is possible if you really know the person's taste, but for the most part it's just like any other contrived party, like a baby shower or wedding shower. The amount of money really depends on how well you know them--pretend they're getting married, and spend what you would spend on a wedding present for them. An all day open house is kind of a weird party format, IMHO, but what do I know?

05-22-2008, 05:12 AM	#8
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	In the UK 'Graduation' is what you do when you complete your university degree. Secondary School (high school) is something you leave rather than something you graduate from. Likewise college. What are the two young people graduating from?

05-22-2008, 05:21 AM	#9
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	US Americans are purty much dun wif lirnin so we gradgitate. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

05-22-2008, 07:47 AM	#10
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I've found that old and new family friends get invited to graduation open house parties. Maybe it's for the gift, but I've always enjoyed these get-togethers. Money or gift cards are great...especially if the graduate is heading to college, and you don't know what they need. Gas cards are much appreciated these days. Personal gifts are nice...but I don't think most people expect you to figure out what to get. I do, however, love Cloud's idea of a gift book. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-22-2008, 08:40 AM	#11
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Send 'em $20 in a gift card and wish them well. If you don't want to - then don't go. You won't be missed. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-22-2008, 08:45 AM	#12
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Alternatively, a gift certificate to a piercing studio, for that right-of-passage piercing! Seriously, kids in the UK don't celebrate getting out of secondary school? Is secondary education mandatory there? It is here, so perhaps it's a celebration of relief that they are no longer "required" to attend school. Rights of passage are VERY important to commemorate! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-22-2008, 08:48 AM	#13
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I'm also with classic on $20 in a gift card.

05-22-2008, 08:50 AM	#15
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	We can leave school at 16 by choice. If you leave at 18 you have completed 2 voluntary years of education. Schoolkids celebrate leaving school, end of exams etc with their peers if at all. It's just not a formal occasion. Also, exams are at the end of the summer term and those sitting them - 16 and 18 year olds - don't attend daily school. For example my last day in school was June 20th, my last exam July 11th. I didn't see many of my classmates from June onwards. We had a Last Exam get together, but only those taking History came because no-one else was in that day. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

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