Chariot Racing - Page 3

Elspode · 01-07-2003, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Griff

The whirling chariot axles could generate the power. Have them charge a large capacitor so you can only use the charge after a few laps. That should add some strategy and gut wrenching fear.

We'll also need monkeys in goat carts and little people with absurd weapons.

So many good ideas! I think we're going to start needing titles, so proper credit is given where due. Since I stole the idea first, I'll take Executive Producer in Charge of Mayhem, Wolf, you can be Weapons Mistress, Griff, Producer of Technology and Special Combatants, and Slang, Centurion in Charge of Hot Oil Systems.

Now, we've got to find someone to be in charge of the writhing, gossamer-clad cheerleaders. That shouldn't be too difficult to accomplish with this crowd. Volunteers?

99 44/100% pure · 01-07-2003, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Elspode
Now, we've got to find someone to be in charge of the writhing, gossamer-clad cheerleaders.

Sirs,
I have held many positions in the writhing, gossamer-clad field, from helpless wench to aloof escort. Although I have never held a mangement role in this arena, I feel my background and skills have prepared me to assume a position of this nature.

Given the current economic climate and the nature of the job (and the nature of the patrons of establishment where the position is posted), you will no doubt receive many frivolous notices of interest in this position, however, very few candidates will be as highly qualified as I am.

Please consider my resume (attached). I am willing to relocate and can begin work after 1/17/03

Thank you,
99

Elspode · 01-07-2003, 09:05 AM

If I wasn't a serious Executive Producer type and a gentleman, I'd insist on photos demonstrating these so-called "positions", but I'm going to take the high road and instead simply award the job to you by dint of your stature here in The Cellar and the fact that I am playing the role of a despot (an essential element when trying to recreate the glory of ancient Rome using all the technology at our disposal).

SteveDallas · 01-07-2003, 10:05 AM

Y'all better get some lawyers... somebody will try to make such an animal on TV, and you will want to make sure you're properly compensated for your ideas.

Re: the electric bullwhip.... the assistant principal at the elementary school I attended was alleged to have an electric paddle for use on especially unruly students. I'm pretty certain it was just a rumor. But hey, if not, maybe there's some prior art you can start with.

My "guilty pleasure" reality show is Taildaters, on MTV. Call me pathetic.

Dagney · 01-07-2003, 01:39 PM

Hrmm, wonder if we could adopt the USC Trojan as our mascot...made even better if we could get some corporate sponsors....(I'll leave the decision of the 'best' one up to our fearless leaders - but they DO have a catchy jingle..and aren't horses in all the ads? Hrmmm..i watch too much MTV i think) :p

Dagney
Who is currently plotting her escape from cubicle hell

j03L10T · 01-07-2003, 01:52 PM

I got to be the voice of "Trojan Man" as well. I have proudly "filled" the roll since I was um, gosh only twelve at the time. I'm so very embarassed about the whole thing now that I am, uhmm thirty-five.

slang · 01-07-2003, 01:54 PM

"Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket? - Dagney sig"

You must be very small, or have some really big handbaskets

Elspode · 01-07-2003, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dagney
I'll leave the decision of the 'best' one up to our fearless leaders -

Ah...think again, m'lady. Like the Pagan community in which I serve numerous minor functions, if you suggest it, you get to do it. Hence, welcome to your new position as Productress of Advertising and Promotions!

If I might suggest a first point of contact regarding sponsorship/product placement, Winchester and Remington come to mind. And Gil Hibben makes some *awesome* blades, and I'm sure his company would very much like to see their products used and endorsed by our little effort.

j03L10T · 01-07-2003, 02:07 PM

There is a "wand", a very mysterious and most unobvious one at that. It fits perfectly between the legs of a woman or a man, and you have each been using it your own way for your entire lives. If you wish too rob me then I advise you that it must be someone who can provide 'head' twenty four hours around the clock, 365 days a year. I wouldn't wish that burden upon anyone, not even my own favorite fantasy, so even Cameron Diaz is totally out of the question. Seriously. Not to be mean or anything like that, I have my own way of doing things and congradulations on the fact that it almost did work.

slang · 01-07-2003, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by j03L10T
There is a "wand",

not sure what you are referencing or talkling about here. Does your wand spray boiling oil and have a trigger?

Elspode · 01-07-2003, 02:34 PM

I think maybe all it took was the word "wand" to set off a pleasant journey down an entirely unrelated path...

j03L10T · 01-07-2003, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang

not sure what you are referencing or talkling about here. Does your wand spray boiling oil and have a trigger?

Response- "something llke that. But if they had only known then what they should have alreay by word of mouth- I would not have had to endure yet another sorry sight of a lovable home being ignorantly and needlessly wrecked by pot and coke heads who never could settle for the simple pleasure of being drunk, nightly. And without one ioda of a notion to jerk off about the thought of just another pretty face. The way I choose to release the "build up" from my fantasies is very deliberate. Usually when I am drunk, and only because it is perfectly legal.

slang · 01-07-2003, 03:30 PM

Thanks for sharing

j03L10T · 01-07-2003, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Elspode
I think maybe all it took was the word "wand" to set off a pleasant journey down an entirely unrelated path...

Every word this man says is true. Not that he had anything to do with the fact of my knowledge of the existance this very forum. I found it on my own.

j03L10T · 01-07-2003, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang
Thanks for sharing

Good luck in securing a position that requires you to 'roll' your eyes on your own time for that kind of money. And welcome to the very sight of my waistline beyond your grave where you get to do just that for free. Well, you asked for it. You aren't dissapointed with a fair and honest answer to your question are you? Did I make you do it? What did you expect of a total stranger? What did you expect, stranger?

01-07-2003, 09:05 AM	#33
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	If I wasn't a serious Executive Producer type and a gentleman, I'd insist on photos demonstrating these so-called "positions", but I'm going to take the high road and instead simply award the job to you by dint of your stature here in The Cellar and the fact that I am playing the role of a despot (an essential element when trying to recreate the glory of ancient Rome using all the technology at our disposal). __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

01-07-2003, 01:39 PM	#35
Dagney The Prodigal Brat Returneth Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 1,107	And Of Course we need a Mascot.... Hrmm, wonder if we could adopt the USC Trojan as our mascot...made even better if we could get some corporate sponsors....(I'll leave the decision of the 'best' one up to our fearless leaders - but they DO have a catchy jingle..and aren't horses in all the ads? Hrmmm..i watch too much MTV i think) :p Dagney Who is currently plotting her escape from cubicle hell __________________ The Constitution gives every American the right to make a total fool out of himself. But that doesn't mean you need to.

01-07-2003, 01:52 PM	#36
j03L10T going nowhere slow Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: L.A. Posts: 252	Ummm, Yeah- I got to be the voice of "Trojan Man" as well. I have proudly "filled" the roll since I was um, gosh only twelve at the time. I'm so very embarassed about the whole thing now that I am, uhmm thirty-five. __________________ "There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.

01-07-2003, 01:54 PM	#37
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	"Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket? - Dagney sig" You must be very small, or have some really big handbaskets __________________ FTFF

01-07-2003, 02:07 PM	#39
j03L10T going nowhere slow Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: L.A. Posts: 252	Don't say you weren't forewarned- There is a "wand", a very mysterious and most unobvious one at that. It fits perfectly between the legs of a woman or a man, and you have each been using it your own way for your entire lives. If you wish too rob me then I advise you that it must be someone who can provide 'head' twenty four hours around the clock, 365 days a year. I wouldn't wish that burden upon anyone, not even my own favorite fantasy, so even Cameron Diaz is totally out of the question. Seriously. Not to be mean or anything like that, I have my own way of doing things and congradulations on the fact that it almost did work. __________________ "There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.

01-07-2003, 10:05 AM	#34
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Y'all better get some lawyers... somebody will try to make such an animal on TV, and you will want to make sure you're properly compensated for your ideas. Re: the electric bullwhip.... the assistant principal at the elementary school I attended was alleged to have an electric paddle for use on especially unruly students. I'm pretty certain it was just a rumor. But hey, if not, maybe there's some prior art you can start with. My "guilty pleasure" reality show is Taildaters, on MTV. Call me pathetic.

01-07-2003, 02:34 PM	#41
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I think maybe all it took was the word "wand" to set off a pleasant journey down an entirely unrelated path... __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

01-07-2003, 03:30 PM	#43
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Thanks for sharing __________________ FTFF

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