Against polygamy

[ZenGum]

Nothing serious, just some stuff I thought of a while back. Tongue firmly in cheek, okay?

This is an argument against Mormon-style harem polygamy. I think I must have seen an ad for Big Love or something.

Consider the following stipulations:

Each male can take as many wives as he chooses. Women marry one man at most.

Each wife gives a possibility of nookie.

Nookie only takes place between man and wife (because anything else is an abomination, remember?)

There is risk of strife, but only between wives (because if a woman disagrees with the man, she is automatically wrong and will shut her cakehole.) This could irritate the man.

Simple mathematics shows that adding wives beyond one worsens the situation.

Consider:

Adding wives increases the chance of nookie in a linear manner:

Number of wives : ........... 0....1....2....3....4....5....6
Opportunities for nookie :.. 0....1....2....3....4....5....6


But adding wives increases the chance of strife at an increasing rate.

Number of wives : ........... 0....1....2....3....4.....5....6
Chance of strife :............. 0....0....1....3....6....10...15

This is because each additional wife can engage in strife with any one of the existing wives, but can only engage in nookie with the man.

Clearly, no sensible man would add wives beyond one, or maybe two (you know ... one for use, one for pleasure...).

Maths. Proving Mormons wrong yet again.

I'm thinking about sending this to the Journal of Chauvinist Pig Studies, so I'd appreciate your feedback.