An entertainingly silly MMORPG

[BigV]

*f*ckin writer's cramp*

[vsp]

<Vizzini>
WAIT 'TIL I GET STARTED! Where was I? Oh, yes. Today's thoughts:
</Vizzini>

<b>Ranking the Class Skillsets</b>
Wondering what class to take on your next Ascension? Here's a quick and biased guide in descending order.

1) Disco Bandit
PROS: An embarrassment of riches. DBs get what I consider to be the best attack in the game, Disco Face Stab (never misses, never fumbles, does minor damage AND decreases monster power), which is vital to quick advancement. They get more meat and more drops after combat. They get a self-heal (Power Nap). They get a crafting skill (cocktailcraftings), which isn't one of the better ones but can still create some decent drinks. They get a to-hit boost on their trademarked crossbow attacks. AND they get a combat-initiative boost. What more do you want?
CONS: DFS can burn through MPs fairly quickly if you're using it all the time. You need a variety of bottles of booze and mixers to use Cocktailcrafting effectively, _and_ you won't be able to make a whole day's worth on your own (5 drinks, you can generate 3 items per day). Some of the skills are repetitive. Still, the best of the skillsets out there.

2) Pastamancer
PROS: This is a strong competitor for the top slot, after being underpowered for a long time. Pastamancery is _the_ best crafting skill by far, allowing you to make stunningly powerful and efficient food items. You get an even bigger combat initiative boost, two self-heals, an overall HP boost, a familiar boost with Leash of Linguini, and the assorted spells to do direct damage. If Entangling Noodles was just a _little_ more powerful, this would be a no-brainer for #1.
CONS: You need to equip a Kickback Cookbook to get best usage out of the spells, which uses up an Accessory slot. The heals and HP boosts help negate the lack of Moxie, but it's still a fragile class. You can burn through MPs very quickly. Still, this would be #1 except that DFS is just _that_ damned good.

3) Turtle Tamer
PROS: This class _used to_ be a contender for the top spot, but it's been nerfed. However, it is still a familiar-boosting machine, with Amphibian Sympathy and Empathy of the Newt each jacking familiars up 5 pounds; a lot of people will take a turn or two through this class just to acquire those. Wisdom of the Elder Tortoises is a much-needed MP boost, vital for any class. Tenacity of the Snapper and Reptilian Fortitude are nice but expensive, Spectral Snapper even more so.
CONS: Armorcraftiness is useless once you have the Mall available, and not very useful even then. Headbutt is dependent on normal attack to-hit rates, so it won't let you jump ahead like DFS will. The Shell skills used to be great, but have been nerfed into uselessness even when fully jacked-up.

4) Accordion Thief
PROS: A very wide variety of buffs. You can jack up your (or anyone else's) stats, meat drops, item drops, combat initiative, melee damage or MPs. Ode to Booze gives a couple of extra adventures per day. Polka of Plenty is vital for building up huge stacks of meat once you have access to some of the big-drop areas.
CONS: You can only have three AT buffs running at any given time, and they get expensive in terms of MPs to begin with. The fact that large numbers of players are in Ronin at any given time lowers the usefulness of buffing others dramatically. The skills boost combat ability indirectly, but aren't as effective as spells or DFS. You'll be able to avoid a lot of damage, but not deal much out.

5) Sauceror
PROS: Advanced Saucecrafting produces Scrumptious Reagents, which used to be in high demand (for Hell Ramen and PvP potions) but aren't as crucial any more. Still, they're nice to have around. Elemental Saucesphere provides a number of useful resistances. Saucy Salve is the only in-combat healing skill in the game. The spells do direct damage, and Intrinsic Spiciness helps lower the need for a Kickback Cookbook.
CONS: A Cookbook is still pretty vital, and the spells are MP-expensive. The advent of Stir-Fries/Chow Meins really nuked the Hell Ramen market, and PvP potions sell for a fraction of what they used to sell for. This is the most fragile class, and the Saucespheres don't do that much to remedy that. Saucy Salve can be useful, but in many cases when you're fighting something that's strong enough that you'll need it, it'll be doing as much damage as the Salve heals each round, leaving you at zero-sum with fewer MPs.

6) Seal Clubbers
PROS: The traditional whipping boys of KoL have a couple of useful tricks. The Otter/Walrus skills provide combat bonuses, armor and heals, though nothing spectacular in that regard. Tongue of the Walrus is a nice heal. The Thrust-Smack series combined with Eye of the Stoat is all right for combat.
CONS: As a SC, either you're whacking things or you're not. Not much variety in this class. The Otter/Walrus skills aren't particularly robust. Meatsmithing is useless. Rage of the Reindeer doesn't do all that much. Beyond that, just keep building up Muscle, hitting Attack and hoping for the best.

[cowhead]

man.. i thought i thought about this game too much... *handing you the cake* thanks for the info tho..

[Happy Monkey]

I'm in no hurry to ascend, but I think I'll go Pastamancer->Sauceror and keep my cooking ability, just so I can cook it all.

And my turtle tamer to disco bandit, keeping sympathy.

[perth]

vsp, you kick ass. Excellent information all around. I thought I understood this game pretty well, but now I see that I am merely the student.

Also, check out the Store of Loathing, if you havent already. I CRAVE the stickers and shot glasses.

[vsp]

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

I'm in no hurry to ascend, but I think I'll go Pastamancer->Sauceror and keep my cooking ability, just so I can cook it all.

And my turtle tamer to disco bandit, keeping sympathy.

Back when Hell Ramen was the uberfood, I was lusting at the prospect of having both Pasta and Sauce capabilities. Now that I have both, I find myself wondering why I bothered with the Sauces.

Chow Mein dishes blow Hell Ramen away in many respects. They require more components, but most of them are common items that are cheap at the Mall, and you end up with higher stats and more adventures for your investment over Ramen with no Reagents or Sauceror help required. Burritos and Delicious Spicy Noodles are your best mid-range food bets, and no Sauceror input is required for either.

It's nice when you pick up a Hellion Cube and blammo, instant high-end food, but it's not a must.

Amphibian Sympathy, on the other hand, is a top-tier skill. That and Wisdom of the Elder Tortoises are the must-haves from the Tamer set.

[Happy Monkey]

Yeah, I know. But I want it anyway...

What I really want is a more reliable way to get spices.

[vsp]

On that note, more holding court:

Why YOU Want Pastamastery

Once you've beaten the Naughty Sorceress, you may Ascend. Once you have Ascended, you are stuck in "Ronin" for 1000 turns, during which you have no access to the Mall, Flea Market, or donations/trades involving other players. You can pull up to 20 items and/or 1000-meat increments from your storage stash each day while you are in Ronin.

The one thing I can say about Ronin is that when I'm in it, I want it to stop. With top-notch food and drinks, I can get through Ronin in six days. Therefore, I want six days' worth of top-notch food and drinks stashed away before I formally Ascend. How much does that all cost?

(Spoilerized for your protection)

On the Drinks side, the very best drinks all require a special item (the Tiny Plastic Sword) that costs millions of meat. (About 7 million at time of this writing.) If you weren't lucky to get one in last year's Crimbo stocking, you won't be getting one any time soon. So let's stick to drinks that common folk can obtain, then.

Disco Bandit drinks give about 10-15 adventures per drink and cause 4 drunkenness. Over 6 days, figuring that you'll have Liver of Steel the whole while (not out of the question for Day 1, though difficult), that's 30 drinks total before becoming drunk as a skunk on each day.

If you have Advanced Cocktailcrafting, you can generate three DB drink items (Magical Ice Cubes, Little Paper Umbrellas, Coconut Shells) per day. That's 24, so you'll need 6 more, and LPUs go for about 1000 each. 6K so far.

You'll need 30 bottles of booze. You can vary those according to what you want to make, but an average bottle of booze might be around 1000, some more, some less. That's 36K so far.

You'll need the assorted fruit and other mixers. With a Hippy Costume, that's about another 2K for 30 oranges, olives, strawberries and such. 38K overall.

You'll need a Bartender-in-the-Box. You can adventure for the parts for one, but if you don't feel like wasting time at the Typical Tavern, that's 7.5k for two Beer Lenses. 45-6K overall and we're done building six days' worth of alcohol.

If you don't have Cocktailcrafting, what does the above cost? Most DB drinks go for around 2000-2400 apiece. So 2400 * 30 = 72K. You've saved about 26,000 meat by going the do-it-yourself route. Not too shabby.

Now food. The best food in the game is Chow Mein, and you can choose which kind you want to make according to which stat you want to boost. You can eat three per day, meaning that you'll need 18 for the six-day run.

You can assemble the ingredients for Bat Wing Stir-Fries (boosting Myst, which is never a bad idea anyway) for about 4K. All components are commonly found at the mall. 4K * 18 = 72K. I'll add in Chef-in-the-Box components similarly, so we'll bump that up to around 80K total for your Ronin run as a generous estimate.

If you just want to buy Bat Wing Stir-Fries and save yourself some trouble, they go for around 6500 commonly at the mall. That's 117K, so you're saving nearly 40K by building the Stir-Fries yourself.

Pastamastery is required to turn Stir-Fries into Chow Meins. Since you can generate three Dry Noodles a day for free, the transformation is essentially costless.

But what if you don't have Pastamastery? You're stuck buying the three best Chow Meins at the Mall... at ~11K apiece. That's around TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND MEAT instead of an 80K investment. The ~26K you save on drinks can be made up in an afternoon's trading on the Mall or Yeti-hunting; 120K meat is another thing entirely.

And THAT is why Pastamastery rocks.

[perth]

The following post may be spoilerish.

My Sauceror defeated the Sorceress for the 2nd time today. VSP is quite right saying it's the most fragile class. The Topiary Golems were a bitch.

After several defeats at the hands of the Sorceress with the Maple Leaf familiar, I swapped him with the Potato and managed to beat her.

Before ascending, I bought a Clockwork Maid, 18 Tofu chow meins, and a beanbag chair for good measure. I did NOT prepare as well as I could have. I didn't worry about buying drinks because I have a Tiny Plastic Sword and about a million limes and bottles of tequila (This was a slight mistake, I think).

I ascended, choosing Pastamancer and the Muscle sign that supposedly increases combat initiative (Though after 100+ adventures I suspect otherwise). The first thing I did upon ascending was eat 3 chow meins and drink 2 Bodyslams. After finishing my adventures for the day, my stats are:

Muscle: 21(13)
Mysticality: 24(16)
Moxie: 16(8)

...Massively imbalanced against Moxie. Lesson learned. I'll catch up next moxie day. For the record, I have Mad Looting Skills (DB) and Saucemastery(S). Next Ascension I'll go Disco Bandit again and take Face Stab. I may do that one in Hardcore to ensure it stays with me on all ascensions.

[vsp]

Tofu Chow Mein wouldn't have been my choice, only because it's less filling than most of the others (3 fullness instead of 5). In terms of adventures gained and total stat gain, it's pretty similar to the big three (Rat Appendix, Knob Sausage and Bat Wing Chow Meins), but you'd need five per day instead of three. Your stat gains being split between Muscle and Myst may actually be better than focusing on one, depending on your outlook on such.

No huge problem, though -- adventure for the parts for a Chef-in-the-Box and you'll be able to make Hell Ramen and Delicious Spicy Noodles to make up the difference. If you have a TPS, you're set as far as drinks go. Only one of my chars has one and I wish the other did, but it's not worth the 7-8 million it currently costs.

Honestly, the Topiary Golems shouldn't be a big deal for a Sauceror, for a simple reason -- Reagent potions. A dose or two of Orangish Aphrodisiac should've boosted your Moxie to the point where they couldn't touch you for 5-10 turns, enough to get the Hedge Key and stumble through to the Tower. The problem with Saucerors is that that kind of focused stat-boosting is only possible for so many turns each day, and then you're back to normal Moxie when you're grinding the Orc Chasm or Airship for stat gains. Thank goodness for Hair Spray and Sneaky Pete's Breath Spray.

[SteveDallas]

Cool,. I picked Accordian Thief just cause I thought it sounded cool.

[vsp]

Beat my record today -- got out of Ronin _and_ beat the Sorceress on Day 6 with my TT, albeit with about 3 adventures remaining.

My Pastamancer will take a little longer, as he can't take advantage of Muscle Days as efficiently.

[SteveDallas]

I'm still figuring out how all this food & drink stuff work... I've essentially been adventuring without them because when I often skip 2 or 3 days so I'm often close to 200 adventures anyway. But now I have a Chef-in-a-box and I'm working on some stuff.. I've got a mushroom pizza, lich eye pie, and knob sausage stir-fry waiting to go for tomorrow.

[cowhead]

vsp.... you are my hero.. I'm still grappling with the yeti and the giants (although I have to say I love the airship! being an old FF geek... from 3 on) hee hee, anyway! bravo sir!

[cowhead]

hey... do you get to keep your campground stuff after ascending? (gurk I cannot spell today... long ass work week)