Original Haiku

hot_pastrami · 09-12-2003, 04:28 PM

I don't know about you guys, but I dig haiku. I thought I'd post some of my original stuff, and see if anyone else had some to share.

For those that don't already know, a haiku is a form of poetry originating in Japan, consisting of three lines... the first with five syllables, the second with seven, and the third with five again. Those are the only restrictions, you can write about any subject matter imaginable, and no need to rhyme or anything silly like that.

Here's some of my stuff:

Help, I'm prisoner
Frolicking with ribbons and
Forced to look gleeful

Watch the fat lady
Draw circles on the wood floor
I want a tattoo

Find a flat gray stone
And hurl it at a bus stop
Hear the old man howl

A belch of flame licks
The night as high waters suck
Life from the people

I don't like death rays
They make my gums and teeth hurt
Weep for me, Earthling

Crave the beef jerky
Salty, mysterious meats
Do not stay your hand

The blue sky is scarred
By seven ghostly contrails
Close the black curtains

I have the Tourette's
You slimy, worthless crap stacks
Damn you all to hell

...OK, I've subjected you to enough for now. Anybody else have some to offer?

Oh, and this post (C) 2003, Alan Bellows, All Right Reserved. For internal use only, do not induce vomiting.

be-bop · 09-12-2003, 06:39 PM

Alan you realy need to get out more.Try fresh air it helps.

elSicomoro · 09-12-2003, 07:23 PM

The first 3 previously posted on the Cellar...

I wrote this one about myself:

I am Sycamore
Sent down from the heavens to
Stir shit up on Earth

This is my ode to Radar:

Fucking ballsac bitch
Radar, bastard, piece of shit
Cuntface, dumbfuck, blecch!

Here's another one I wrote about Dave:

Mister David Ham
Likes computers and pad gai
Lives in the suburbs

And now...a new one just for pastrami:

Mister Pastrami
Lives among the weird Mormons
And wants a tattoo

Bitman · 09-12-2003, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hot_pastrami
Those are the only restrictions

No, there're more restrictions. Each of the first two lines expresses an idea, and the third line relates them in an unexpected manner. Full sentences are discouraged, and ideas cannot span lines. Your second one is good due to the twist, but the 'and' makes a sentence, which is illegal.

geek pushing buttons
rhythmic words make little sense
just call it haiku

many computers
some mother fucking pad gai
Dave Ham won't shut up

fancy computer
can't pronounce ocean currents
the guy knows it all

Torrere · 09-23-2003, 02:52 PM

Every once in a while I start composing haiku obsessively. It can really annoy the people around me.

The only one I can remember:

Five heads in the room
Summer heat stifles action
Boredom has arrived.

I bewildered four people with that.

Torrere · 09-23-2003, 03:11 PM

Spun disc slices air
Excited young man rises
Frisbee caught in hand

Bitman, might it be a good way to write haiku if the first and second lines are descriptive of ideas, and the third line exposes both for metaphors relating to the same thing?

warch · 09-23-2003, 03:30 PM

Old banana peel
Teetering stack of papers
Meager evidence

darclauz · 09-24-2003, 10:45 PM

They think it's brilliant
Intellect, passion and crap
Cellarites speak all

darclauz · 09-24-2003, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Torrere
Every once in a while I start composing haiku obsessively. It can really annoy the people around me.

The only one I can remember:

Five heads in the room
Summer heat stifles action
Boredom has arrived.

I bewildered four people with that.

that's wonderful.

darclauz · 09-24-2003, 10:53 PM

Okay. the hip hop poets are on hbo and i have been struck with this thought: the black women performing these sonnets use the word "bullshit" and it's musical. amazing. it sounds just like trash talk when i use it...............

Hip hop theater
Lyrical vugarity
Bullshit as fine art

Performance artist
Speak slang into Creation
god, working in trash

Nathan Barnes · 09-25-2003, 12:42 PM

I like to call mine 'Haikish' so I can have all of the fun of writing them and none of the annoyance of debating the rules.

Leaping! Drooling! Dog!
mud prints all over the place
and yet we love you

The alternative version is:

leaping, drooling dog
mud prints all over the place
why are you so dumb

Take your pick.

I seem to remember Haiku having some qualities like a seasonal tie-in and an evanescent mood, so:

snow in the morning
the scent of hot coffee --
wake me up inside

Which, of course, makes me think of music

wicked thieves of song
old women and little girls
lawsuits in the fall

99 44/100% pure · 09-25-2003, 01:06 PM

hurricane-inspired haiku:

The rotting porkchops
purified by melting ice
at last stinketh not.

BTW, power and phones restored, yay! Because a connected HB is a happy HB.

Griff · 09-25-2003, 06:07 PM

taco for breakfast
hot chimey chonga for lunch
Merlin is pukey

laying in the tub
philosophising he's not
William Howard Taft

O'Rielly's daughter
playin on your old tin drum
where is your father

Terminator says
hasta la vista baby
Gray Davis get gone

John Kerry votes yes
John Kerry is against war
John, do we look stupid?

Haliburtons gold
comes from taxpayers pockets
capitalism is dead

asleep at the wheel
dreaming of sugar plum fairies
pull over dummy

warch · 09-26-2003, 10:07 AM

consequence for merlin
lured by strongest desire
empathy is mine

Uryoces · 09-29-2003, 04:28 AM

Random bugs annoy
The helpdesk guy is quite calm
Users are happy

09-12-2003, 04:28 PM	#1
hot_pastrami I am meaty Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Salt Lake City, UT Posts: 1,119	Original Haiku I don't know about you guys, but I dig haiku. I thought I'd post some of my original stuff, and see if anyone else had some to share. For those that don't already know, a haiku is a form of poetry originating in Japan, consisting of three lines... the first with five syllables, the second with seven, and the third with five again. Those are the only restrictions, you can write about any subject matter imaginable, and no need to rhyme or anything silly like that. Here's some of my stuff: Help, I'm prisoner Frolicking with ribbons and Forced to look gleeful Watch the fat lady Draw circles on the wood floor I want a tattoo Find a flat gray stone And hurl it at a bus stop Hear the old man howl A belch of flame licks The night as high waters suck Life from the people I don't like death rays They make my gums and teeth hurt Weep for me, Earthling Crave the beef jerky Salty, mysterious meats Do not stay your hand The blue sky is scarred By seven ghostly contrails Close the black curtains I have the Tourette's You slimy, worthless crap stacks Damn you all to hell ...OK, I've subjected you to enough for now. Anybody else have some to offer? Oh, and this post (C) 2003, Alan Bellows, All Right Reserved. For internal use only, do not induce vomiting. __________________ Hot Pastrami!

09-12-2003, 06:39 PM	#2
be-bop Operations Operative Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: scotland/uk Posts: 664	Original haiku Alan you realy need to get out more.Try fresh air it helps.

09-24-2003, 10:45 PM	#8
darclauz Breathing into a paper bag Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 334	They think it's brilliant Intellect, passion and crap Cellarites speak all __________________ Taking up smoking to lose weight. Last edited by darclauz; 09-24-2003 at 10:49 PM.

09-24-2003, 10:53 PM	#10
darclauz Breathing into a paper bag Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 334	Okay. the hip hop poets are on hbo and i have been struck with this thought: the black women performing these sonnets use the word "bullshit" and it's musical. amazing. it sounds just like trash talk when i use it............... Hip hop theater Lyrical vugarity Bullshit as fine art Performance artist Speak slang into Creation god, working in trash __________________ Taking up smoking to lose weight.

09-25-2003, 01:06 PM	#12
99 44/100% pure Infrequently Astonished Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Baltimore metro area Posts: 324	In the Wake of Isabel hurricane-inspired haiku: The rotting porkchops purified by melting ice at last stinketh not. BTW, power and phones restored, yay! Because a connected HB is a happy HB. __________________ Overcompensating for the 0.56% that is irredeemably corrupted.

09-12-2003, 07:23 PM	#3
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	The first 3 previously posted on the Cellar... I wrote this one about myself: I am Sycamore Sent down from the heavens to Stir shit up on Earth This is my ode to Radar: Fucking ballsac bitch Radar, bastard, piece of shit Cuntface, dumbfuck, blecch! Here's another one I wrote about Dave: Mister David Ham Likes computers and pad gai Lives in the suburbs And now...a new one just for pastrami: Mister Pastrami Lives among the weird Mormons And wants a tattoo

09-23-2003, 02:52 PM	#5
Torrere a real smartass Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Kirkland, WA Posts: 1,121	Every once in a while I start composing haiku obsessively. It can really annoy the people around me. The only one I can remember: Five heads in the room Summer heat stifles action Boredom has arrived. I bewildered four people with that.

09-23-2003, 03:11 PM	#6
Torrere a real smartass Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Kirkland, WA Posts: 1,121	Spun disc slices air Excited young man rises Frisbee caught in hand Bitman, might it be a good way to write haiku if the first and second lines are descriptive of ideas, and the third line exposes both for metaphors relating to the same thing?

09-23-2003, 03:30 PM	#7
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Old banana peel Teetering stack of papers Meager evidence

09-25-2003, 12:42 PM	#11
Nathan Barnes Alphabetarian Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 12	I like to call mine 'Haikish' so I can have all of the fun of writing them and none of the annoyance of debating the rules. Leaping! Drooling! Dog! mud prints all over the place and yet we love you The alternative version is: leaping, drooling dog mud prints all over the place why are you so dumb Take your pick. I seem to remember Haiku having some qualities like a seasonal tie-in and an evanescent mood, so: snow in the morning the scent of hot coffee -- wake me up inside Which, of course, makes me think of music wicked thieves of song old women and little girls lawsuits in the fall

09-25-2003, 06:07 PM	#13
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	taco for breakfast hot chimey chonga for lunch Merlin is pukey laying in the tub philosophising he's not William Howard Taft O'Rielly's daughter playin on your old tin drum where is your father Terminator says hasta la vista baby Gray Davis get gone John Kerry votes yes John Kerry is against war John, do we look stupid? Haliburtons gold comes from taxpayers pockets capitalism is dead asleep at the wheel dreaming of sugar plum fairies pull over dummy __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

09-26-2003, 10:07 AM	#14
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	consequence for merlin lured by strongest desire empathy is mine

09-29-2003, 04:28 AM	#15
Uryoces 2nd Covenant, yo Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Pugetropolis Posts: 583	Random bugs annoy The helpdesk guy is quite calm Users are happy __________________ The party's over ... the drink ... and the luck ... ran out.

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