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Old 08-26-2011, 03:43 PM   #526
GunMaster357
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There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
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Old 09-07-2011, 05:26 AM   #527
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Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?

A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
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Old 09-29-2011, 03:00 PM   #528
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Didja hear about the Ethiopian that fell in the alligator pit?

He ate three of 'em before they got him out.
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Old 09-30-2011, 10:45 PM   #529
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Three fags are sitting in a hot tub just relaxing when a huge glob of semen floats to the surface,

One of the fags looks up and says "Hey! Who farted?"

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Have you ever heard the motto of the Greek army?
Never leave your buddy's behind.

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Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!”

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Got this text from my brother recently.
It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while?

The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock.
.... It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”

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I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.
She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

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I saw a fortune teller the other day.
She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I fucked a girl called Penny – is that spooky or what?

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The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?”
.... Apparently “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.
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Old 10-02-2011, 06:04 PM   #530
Gravdigr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buttless View Post
...I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.
She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

-------------

I saw a fortune teller the other day.
She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I fucked a girl called Penny – is that spooky or what?
Those two are winners.
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Old 10-06-2011, 09:12 PM   #531
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A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan.

He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well.

He says prophets are going through the roof!
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Old 10-06-2011, 09:37 PM   #532
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lol groan
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Old 10-06-2011, 10:09 PM   #533
classicman
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Not tasteless enough for you, V?
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Old 10-06-2011, 11:25 PM   #534
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pretty tasteless, pretty funny.

like a good dead baby joke.
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Old 10-06-2011, 11:45 PM   #535
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mission accomplished
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Old 10-07-2011, 06:02 PM   #536
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Whacko extremist.


ETA: sorry, Pavlovian reflex. Move along.
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Old 10-07-2011, 06:15 PM   #537
classicman
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tommy

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Old 10-08-2011, 01:49 PM   #538
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Prophets...roof...
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Old 10-08-2011, 02:50 PM   #539
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Did you hear about the football coach that got married?




He thought he was getting a tight end, but wound up with a wide receiver!
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Old 10-09-2011, 01:57 PM   #540
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What does Michael Jackson and Burger King had in common?




They both sticked meat into 6 year old buns!
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