Problem Pages - Page 2

glatt · 10-15-2014, 07:29 AM

I don't get it either, but we're both men. Must be a gender thing.

DanaC · 10-15-2014, 08:07 AM

Nope - baffles me.

lumberjim · 10-15-2014, 08:12 AM

It's not a gender thing. It's a cunty thing.

monster · 10-15-2014, 08:26 AM

OK I'm sorry, I'll stfu

wish I'd never bothered and could delete that. fuck you all

glatt · 10-15-2014, 08:37 AM

I actually think it's interesting. If all the men (except the shrink) had one reaction and all the women had another, there is clearly something going on.

I like to think that I'm rational, but if others can look at the same facts in a situation and have a completely different take on it, then clearly there isn't some sort of universal truth.

Monster, you didn't say what your take on the topic was. What did you think?

DanaC · 10-15-2014, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

OK I'm sorry, I'll stfu

wish I'd never bothered and could delete that. fuck you all

Seriously?

I thought it had engendered an interesting discussion.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-15-2014, 09:46 AM

"defend it or it's meaningless"

No, you're not defending anything, you're explaining, you're making excuses, you're apologizing for your position.
OR. you're an attention whore wanting to expound your philosophy to any and all.

None of that is necessary, just do it.

infinite monkey · 10-15-2014, 10:36 AM

monster, I was in agreement with Dana on this, and was just about to post as such. I don't think anyone was putting down the post and the subsequent discussion.

So, yeah he ignored the later texts. No, he didn't bother to tell his wife about them. He's a guy. He may have been so non-blown-away by this woman's continued texts that it didn't even picture for him. There is the possibility that there are other reasons for her to become angry, and we can't know all that story, and none of that came to light in the information given. If we assume the former, then I would go on to assume if it had gotten really creepy he would have told his wife this beeatch won't leave him alone. If it's the latter...that's a whole other kettle of fish. If we assume the latter, there is a whole new conversation to talk about.

This seems to me to be a whole lot deeper than a couple texts he didn't tell his wife about.

I'd be interested to hear what you think. I think there is room for all sorts of perspectives in this conversation.

I've done all of it wrong for so many years that my opinion is just from my perspective. Maybe she felt it wasn't so much defending the marriage, he wasn't defending HER.

Eh, who can trust anyone, really, anyway?

IMHO

sexobon · 10-15-2014, 06:07 PM

Perhaps we should further explore this situation by recreating it in the Cellar. We'll need a few things:

1. A married heterosexual couple at least one of whom has a history with this community.

2. A co-dweller who shares a community history with one of the aforementioned couple and who requests private communication with one of them even at the risk being suspected as a home wrecker.

3. Other dwellars willing to analyze the actions of the married person being pursued for private interaction and share them with the community.

OK, I think we have the all the necessary participants. Here we go ...

Monster, would you be free to talk privately?

There, I got the ball rolling. Now it's up to the rest of you to pick it up and run with it:

Will monster reply? Whether she does or doesn't, will she tell beest? Will beest first inadvertently find out for himself while browsing the forums? Has monster done something to encourage this? Is sexobon just looking for a shoulder to cry on or does he want to get into monster's pants? Will civil war break out over this in the Cellar. For answers to these questions and more be sure to return to your Problem Pages!

limey · 10-16-2014, 04:03 AM

[tangential comment] I've never been able to understand why the Admired should be held responsible for the feelings of the Admirer.[/tangential comment]

Sent by thought transference

xoxoxoBruce · 10-16-2014, 08:44 AM

You're right limey, it's difficult for we adored.

Clodfobble · 10-16-2014, 10:40 PM

I don't think that what the guy did necessarily deserved for his wife to get mad over (I mean how mad is mad? Was she throwing shit across the room, or just irritated?) but I do think he did the wrong thing.

He left the door open. He didn't tell this chick "stop texting me," which he absolutely should have done. A large part of making good choices is consciously keeping yourself away from situations where you know you will be tempted to make the wrong choice. When someone is going after you, not responding means you're conflicted. It means you might be persuaded at a later date. The women are all mad because they know how the WOMAN is going to interpret his lack of a response, and they know she is going to keep trying. And if she does keep trying, someday he may cave. He wants to believe he's stronger than that, so telling her to stop is almost like admitting he's too weak to continue ignoring her forever--admitting that he does see her as a risk. But that's stupid. Unnecessary risks are still unnecessary risks, and there's no shame in avoiding temptation even if you're super, super sure you'll never be that guy.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-16-2014, 10:51 PM

Unless she's one of those people that ignore the text content and any response is in her favor.

sexobon · 10-16-2014, 11:04 PM

His words say no; but, his punctuation says yes. Could lead to a fatal attraction.

infinite monkey · 10-16-2014, 11:24 PM

? ! &%$#@

10-15-2014, 08:12 AM	#18
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	It's not a gender thing. It's a cunty thing. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-15-2014, 08:26 AM	#19
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	OK I'm sorry, I'll stfu wish I'd never bothered and could delete that. fuck you all __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-15-2014, 09:46 AM	#22
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	"defend it or it's meaningless" No, you're not defending anything, you're explaining, you're making excuses, you're apologizing for your position. OR. you're an attention whore wanting to expound your philosophy to any and all. None of that is necessary, just do it. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-16-2014, 04:03 AM	#25
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	[tangential comment] I've never been able to understand why the Admired should be held responsible for the feelings of the Admirer.[/tangential comment] Sent by thought transference __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

10-16-2014, 08:44 AM	#26
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	You're right limey, it's difficult for we adored. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-15-2014, 07:29 AM	#16
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I don't get it either, but we're both men. Must be a gender thing.

10-15-2014, 08:37 AM	#20
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I actually think it's interesting. If all the men (except the shrink) had one reaction and all the women had another, there is clearly something going on. I like to think that I'm rational, but if others can look at the same facts in a situation and have a completely different take on it, then clearly there isn't some sort of universal truth. Monster, you didn't say what your take on the topic was. What did you think?

10-15-2014, 10:36 AM	#23
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	monster, I was in agreement with Dana on this, and was just about to post as such. I don't think anyone was putting down the post and the subsequent discussion. So, yeah he ignored the later texts. No, he didn't bother to tell his wife about them. He's a guy. He may have been so non-blown-away by this woman's continued texts that it didn't even picture for him. There is the possibility that there are other reasons for her to become angry, and we can't know all that story, and none of that came to light in the information given. If we assume the former, then I would go on to assume if it had gotten really creepy he would have told his wife this beeatch won't leave him alone. If it's the latter...that's a whole other kettle of fish. If we assume the latter, there is a whole new conversation to talk about. This seems to me to be a whole lot deeper than a couple texts he didn't tell his wife about. I'd be interested to hear what you think. I think there is room for all sorts of perspectives in this conversation. I've done all of it wrong for so many years that my opinion is just from my perspective. Maybe she felt it wasn't so much defending the marriage, he wasn't defending HER. Eh, who can trust anyone, really, anyway? IMHO

10-15-2014, 06:07 PM	#24
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	Perhaps we should further explore this situation by recreating it in the Cellar. We'll need a few things: 1. A married heterosexual couple at least one of whom has a history with this community. 2. A co-dweller who shares a community history with one of the aforementioned couple and who requests private communication with one of them even at the risk being suspected as a home wrecker. 3. Other dwellars willing to analyze the actions of the married person being pursued for private interaction and share them with the community. OK, I think we have the all the necessary participants. Here we go ... Monster, would you be free to talk privately? There, I got the ball rolling. Now it's up to the rest of you to pick it up and run with it: Will monster reply? Whether she does or doesn't, will she tell beest? Will beest first inadvertently find out for himself while browsing the forums? Has monster done something to encourage this? Is sexobon just looking for a shoulder to cry on or does he want to get into monster's pants? Will civil war break out over this in the Cellar. For answers to these questions and more be sure to return to your Problem Pages!

10-16-2014, 10:40 PM	#27
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I don't think that what the guy did necessarily deserved for his wife to get mad over (I mean how mad is mad? Was she throwing shit across the room, or just irritated?) but I do think he did the wrong thing. He left the door open. He didn't tell this chick "stop texting me," which he absolutely should have done. A large part of making good choices is consciously keeping yourself away from situations where you know you will be tempted to make the wrong choice. When someone is going after you, not responding means you're conflicted. It means you might be persuaded at a later date. The women are all mad because they know how the WOMAN is going to interpret his lack of a response, and they know she is going to keep trying. And if she does keep trying, someday he may cave. He wants to believe he's stronger than that, so telling her to stop is almost like admitting he's too weak to continue ignoring her forever--admitting that he does see her as a risk. But that's stupid. Unnecessary risks are still unnecessary risks, and there's no shame in avoiding temptation even if you're super, super sure you'll never be that guy. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

10-16-2014, 10:51 PM	#28
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Unless she's one of those people that ignore the text content and any response is in her favor. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-16-2014, 11:04 PM	#29
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	His words say no; but, his punctuation says yes. Could lead to a fatal attraction.

10-16-2014, 11:24 PM	#30
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	? ! &%$#@

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