Sex and parenting: if wishes were fishes - Page 2

DucksNuts · 04-30-2007, 12:12 AM

Sorry - forgot that bit huh.

I remember my Mum starting that conversation in the car, but I cut her off as I already knew the basics from school classes (bit different over here).

The rest was trial and error. I do wish I had some prior knowledge about stuff other than penetration....but I dont think it turned out too badly

I loved the experimentation of 2 young people in their first sexualrelationshiop

freshnesschronic · 04-30-2007, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

I loved the experimentation of 2 young people in their first sexualrelationshiop

Iggy · 04-30-2007, 12:46 AM

When I was in school they weren't doing this stupid abstinence stuff... and as I had found my parents porn when I was about 8 or so I pretty much knew what went on and how it worked. My mom tried to talk to me about it when I was 12 I think, but as I had been having my period for quite some time I knew the mechanics and everything already. I think my dad said something to me about it when I was 17, to which I promptly told him I had the talk long ago. Hee hee

I honestly don't know how I would go about it when I have children. That is something that I will need to ponder more as that time comes closer.

And I think my parents did a fine job, but I learned almost all of the mechanics from school (and what they didn't teach I already knew from my accidental findings).

breakingnews · 04-30-2007, 01:58 AM

More sex ed could certainly be taught in schools. I had some form of sex ed in 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th and 12th grades, and in retrospect I did learn a lot and so far have kept myself out of trouble. But yeah, teens are stubborn and hardheaded, so I think the majority of students won't really listen anyway.

Not a peep from my parents about sex, other than "you're too young to even be thinking about that" (this was at 23 years old). I learned most of what I know from my oldest brother and wikipedia.

I guess I wish they had told me what I plan to tell my kids in the future. I expect they'll have the mechanics down at a pretty early age; what I hope to emphasize is that things like STDs and pregnancy should not be treated as a game of probability. One slip could mean serious consequences. And with that in mind, to carefully consider how they go about their sexual relationships. Sex is healthy and great, but it should be treated with a certain amount of maturity/respect, like driving a car. (sorry that sounded kinda dumb)

I'm more worried about having to provide emotional counsel. I remember in my first "serious" relationship (9th or 10th grade) getting carried away with the idea of being in love and whatever. IMHO, there's a lot of growing up to be done before those kinds of decisions should be made. I mean, I'm 26 and I still have no effin' clue what I'm doing.

Sheldonrs · 04-30-2007, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by breakingnews

...I learned most of what I know from my oldest brother.....

West Virginia?

Cloud · 04-30-2007, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by breakingnews

Sex is healthy and great, but it should be treated with a certain amount of maturity/respect, like driving a car. (sorry that sounded kinda dumb)

a lot less dumb than the "goes in there like a plug in a socket" line I got.

And you're right--the emotional stuff is harder, but by the 10th grade or so they mostly don't listen to you anyhow.

Hime · 04-30-2007, 11:07 AM

I think my parents did a pretty good job, starting with "wait, he pees in her china?!" My school health program was better than most, too -- we covered all the different methods of contraception available at the time, and they didn't push abstinence too hard.

The funnier parts were my mom trying to explain dirty stuff in pop culture. "Well, they called the band Cream because all the musicians were the best from other bands, so they were like, the cream of the crop."

Clodfobble · 04-30-2007, 12:01 PM

Ha--my dad fervently maintained that the ZZ Top lyric "She wore my pearl necklace" had no dirty connotations. "That's ridiculous," he said, "They just do lots of songs about dressing nicely, like 'Cheap Sunglasses' and 'Every Girl's Crazy ('Bout a Sharp Dressed Man)!"

Cloud · 04-30-2007, 12:35 PM

LOL!

Clodfobble · 04-30-2007, 01:27 PM

I never had an official "talk." The main themes I recall with my parents were that A.) my mother was overeager to scientifically educate me far, far too young, thus as a 5-year-old I knew what a vibrator was but the knowledge did nothing but gross me out and confuse me; and B.) later they both backed way off and did the denial/sheltering thing (a la song lyrics above) which only led me to believe that my parents didn't actually know anything about sex. My mother was trying to give me advice on a boyfriend once, and I brazenly told her that she didn't even know what "sixty-nining" was so her advice was useless. (She had pretended innocence to the innuendo at some point, because it apparently didn't occur to her that I already knew what it referred to.)

freshnesschronic · 04-30-2007, 01:39 PM

My friend told me his story. He was like 14 year old, watching TV with his dad or something.
Something on TV had to do with sex and in the commercial break he was like "Son, you know...How do I say this..."
My friend was like "Dad, I know."
The dad goes "Ok."
END!
hahaha

04-30-2007, 10:44 PM

Grew up on a ranch/farm. I saw animals doin' it, havin' babies, etc, all the time and was told everything as I asked it.
We believe if a kid is old enough to ask, they are old enough to know, if you tell them too much they just ignore it. I have seen this in action many times.
Was very poor for a time also, living in some of those conditions lent itself to seeing things most kids that age do not see.

TheMercenary · 05-01-2007, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibram

I'm very very very glad my parents didn't tell me much about sex.

That is not a conversation I want to have with either of them.

*shudders*

elSicomoro · 05-01-2007, 10:20 AM

My parents never gave me the talk...they gave me a book they got from the doctor called "A Doctor Talks to 9-to-12 Year Olds." Most of what I learned I got from (clinical) books and the occasional movie. I thank God that I had the intelligence and good sense to want to know stuff without getting myself in trouble.

Cloud · 05-01-2007, 10:32 AM

I want to thank everyone for sharing their stories of "the Talk," but I would like to redirect people to my original intent:

Is there anything you wish you had been told?

04-30-2007, 01:58 AM	#19
breakingnews Q_Q Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 995	More sex ed could certainly be taught in schools. I had some form of sex ed in 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th and 12th grades, and in retrospect I did learn a lot and so far have kept myself out of trouble. But yeah, teens are stubborn and hardheaded, so I think the majority of students won't really listen anyway. Not a peep from my parents about sex, other than "you're too young to even be thinking about that" (this was at 23 years old). I learned most of what I know from my oldest brother and wikipedia. I guess I wish they had told me what I plan to tell my kids in the future. I expect they'll have the mechanics down at a pretty early age; what I hope to emphasize is that things like STDs and pregnancy should not be treated as a game of probability. One slip could mean serious consequences. And with that in mind, to carefully consider how they go about their sexual relationships. Sex is healthy and great, but it should be treated with a certain amount of maturity/respect, like driving a car. (sorry that sounded kinda dumb) I'm more worried about having to provide emotional counsel. I remember in my first "serious" relationship (9th or 10th grade) getting carried away with the idea of being in love and whatever. IMHO, there's a lot of growing up to be done before those kinds of decisions should be made. I mean, I'm 26 and I still have no effin' clue what I'm doing. __________________ Gone crazy, be back never.

04-30-2007, 12:35 PM	#24
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	LOL! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-01-2007, 10:32 AM	#30
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I want to thank everyone for sharing their stories of "the Talk," but I would like to redirect people to my original intent: Is there anything you wish you had been told? __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-30-2007, 12:12 AM	#16
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Sorry - forgot that bit huh. I remember my Mum starting that conversation in the car, but I cut her off as I already knew the basics from school classes (bit different over here). The rest was trial and error. I do wish I had some prior knowledge about stuff other than penetration....but I dont think it turned out too badly I loved the experimentation of 2 young people in their first sexualrelationshiop

04-30-2007, 12:46 AM	#18
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	When I was in school they weren't doing this stupid abstinence stuff... and as I had found my parents porn when I was about 8 or so I pretty much knew what went on and how it worked. My mom tried to talk to me about it when I was 12 I think, but as I had been having my period for quite some time I knew the mechanics and everything already. I think my dad said something to me about it when I was 17, to which I promptly told him I had the talk long ago. Hee hee I honestly don't know how I would go about it when I have children. That is something that I will need to ponder more as that time comes closer. And I think my parents did a fine job, but I learned almost all of the mechanics from school (and what they didn't teach I already knew from my accidental findings).

04-30-2007, 11:07 AM	#22
Hime Extraordinary Machine Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Outside of Washington, DC Posts: 307	I think my parents did a pretty good job, starting with "wait, he pees in her china?!" My school health program was better than most, too -- we covered all the different methods of contraception available at the time, and they didn't push abstinence too hard. The funnier parts were my mom trying to explain dirty stuff in pop culture. "Well, they called the band Cream because all the musicians were the best from other bands, so they were like, the cream of the crop."

04-30-2007, 12:01 PM	#23
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Ha--my dad fervently maintained that the ZZ Top lyric "She wore my pearl necklace" had no dirty connotations. "That's ridiculous," he said, "They just do lots of songs about dressing nicely, like 'Cheap Sunglasses' and 'Every Girl's Crazy ('Bout a Sharp Dressed Man)!"

04-30-2007, 01:27 PM	#25
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I never had an official "talk." The main themes I recall with my parents were that A.) my mother was overeager to scientifically educate me far, far too young, thus as a 5-year-old I knew what a vibrator was but the knowledge did nothing but gross me out and confuse me; and B.) later they both backed way off and did the denial/sheltering thing (a la song lyrics above) which only led me to believe that my parents didn't actually know anything about sex. My mother was trying to give me advice on a boyfriend once, and I brazenly told her that she didn't even know what "sixty-nining" was so her advice was useless. (She had pretended innocence to the innuendo at some point, because it apparently didn't occur to her that I already knew what it referred to.)

04-30-2007, 01:39 PM	#26
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	My friend told me his story. He was like 14 year old, watching TV with his dad or something. Something on TV had to do with sex and in the commercial break he was like "Son, you know...How do I say this..." My friend was like "Dad, I know." The dad goes "Ok." END! hahaha

04-30-2007, 10:44 PM	#27
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Grew up on a ranch/farm. I saw animals doin' it, havin' babies, etc, all the time and was told everything as I asked it. We believe if a kid is old enough to ask, they are old enough to know, if you tell them too much they just ignore it. I have seen this in action many times. Was very poor for a time also, living in some of those conditions lent itself to seeing things most kids that age do not see.

05-01-2007, 10:20 AM	#29
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	My parents never gave me the talk...they gave me a book they got from the doctor called "A Doctor Talks to 9-to-12 Year Olds." Most of what I learned I got from (clinical) books and the occasional movie. I thank God that I had the intelligence and good sense to want to know stuff without getting myself in trouble.

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