keychain psychoanalysis

[Elspode]

I'm not sure I hold with the whole notion of a keychain being any sort of serious indicator of personality, but if it is, I'm guessing there's not much to me.

Starting with the large Ford key and going clockwise, the sole content of my keychain is:

Ford Explorer key, Nissan Sentra key, Martin HD48 case key, PO Box key (pretty much concealing) my house key, key to someplace at work, key to front door at work, key to my office at work, camper key, another PO Box key, another camper key. These are mounted on an easy-open key ring.

[elSicomoro]

It's an 8 ball, though the number has worn off...I noticed last night that Jag and I have similar keychains.

The only one in chains around here is Rho, except when I let her out of the house.

[lumberjim]

well, i dont think the keys themselves tell us much, but what they open may. like your guitar case.

big$$ guitar, that one. the juggernaut. my dad has one. it's magic

i dont think you even have to know how to play to play that guitar. its almost like cheating. they get better with age, as you have, i'm sure, uncle elspode.

oh yeah, i forgot to mention that you and bruce are everyone's uncles on here. did you get the memo?

[lumberjim]

Originally posted by wolf
That is because their food is fucking overpriced.

Even if you are buying regular old cornflakes, or one of the other "convetional/available at the acme" products ... 1.5 - 2X the cost.

But don't you feel better by not being a total corporate tool and slave of marketing ... oh wait. You just WERE. But you don't think of it that way, because, well ... that's how those stores are marketed. Tee hee.

actually, their rice milk is 1.69/box, where lower quality fro wegmans goes for 2.79. most of what we buy there cannot be found elsewhere, but, yeah, 2.99 for a jar of salsa sticks in my craw. but jinx tells me it's the best around.

[wolf]

The real deal for keychain psychanalysis is this ...

I have a theory I call diagnosis by accessory. Part of my job is to go through people's stuff and log it into the safe.

Certain psychological issues often manifest themselves in the things people carry.

Schizophrenics have lots of little bits of useless crap tucked either into their pockets or purses. Old cigarette butts are a favorite, straw wrappers, church flyers and religious tracts, and their last twenty years worth of electrical bills.

Crazy old ladies have thousands of dollars. In bank envelopes. Many for banks that went out of business in the mid-80s. These envelopes are hidden in various secret comparments in her purse, and it takes you three fucking HOURS to find all the hidey holes in the lining of that black pocketbook with the snap closure that's she's had since Eisenhower was president.

Bipolar Disorder, Manic Women carry LARGE purses that contain everything they might possibly need at every given moment. (Males may have briefcases or messenger bags).

People with Antisocial Personality Disorder, the career criminal type, all carry those wallets with the chain attached to them that you snap or hook to your belt.

Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosable in two ways. One is the existance in a person's suitcase or plastic bag collection of a stuffed animal. It does not have to be a bear. It can be any plush comfort item. One of our most famous borderline patients had a pig named "Chucky". We'd come into the office and see a pile of crap with this pig on the top and say "Oh, when did Pam get in?"

The OTHER diagnosable item for borderlines is the keychain (this is what you've all been waiting for). The number and size of non-key items is important. Storetags do not count in this assessment. borderlines have all kinds of shit hanging off their keychain. There may be one or two keys on the chain o' stuff, but always far fewer keys than fobs. There will be souvenier items from various places, and a lot of those "message" key tags from Spencer Gifts, particularly ones with statements indicating that men are bad or stupid, as well as one identifying the holder of the keys as either "princess," "diva," or "bitch." There may be at least one mini clothing item ... shoe, leather jacket, hat.

Just as not every schizophrenic sees things and hears voices, not everyone with the above disorders carries the above diagnostic items. But I do have a high degree of accuracy with my diagnosis by accessory theory.

[jaguar]

The OTHER diagnosable item for borderlines is the keychain (this is what you've all been waiting for). The number and size of non-key items is important. Storetags do not count in this assessment. borderlines have all kinds of shit hanging off their keychain. There may be one or two keys on the chain o' stuff, but always far fewer keys than fobs. There will be souvenier items from various places

Oh? Really? Fuck.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Jag, because you're so transient, you need extra fobs to represent home and roots.

[Shattered Soul]

So what do depressives carry? You covered everyone else. What about ME?

[warch]

My keys are on a simple ring, 6 keys (work keys are separate)
the only thing of note is that I have 3 color coded cap thingies on my house keys, cause there are multiple locks to keep straight. And this maybe telling, my spouse has the three keys color coded as well, but differently, so if I grab his keys I have to remember that combination. But have I taken the time to sychronize the keys? Or he mine? nah. pathetically lazy disorder.

As a 40 something woman who loves to cook I have to chip in about Whole foods: Great meat. Great chicken. Great Sausage. Great cheese. worth the extra $- but the weekly sales are good too. I gotta say I get freaked out by the state of the meat I see in general supermkts. WF is clean, fresh, cut and wrapped to order.
There are two in my area, one is big, posh and very strangely arranged. (would you put all the pasta in one place please?) The other is smaller and great.
Our Whole Foods has "365" label products- from olive oil to crackers, pop to chicken broth. priced very well and generally tasty organic. they have a 1lb frozen peeled shrimp bag I'm diggin.
Organic produce is so expensive, so unless really tempting, I usually go to the supermkt- and wait for the Farmers mkt.
Comparing "health" type foods between the regular market (here its Rainbow Foods) and WF- Like Stoneyfield Yogurt- WF is .20 cheaper. I like Kashi products- WF is easily .50 cheaper across the board. Muir Glen tomato things- WF is cheaper. Specialty cheeses also compare at anywhere from $1-2 less per pound than other mkts if you can find them there at all. So I'm a WF fan.

[Shattered Soul]

And what about people who just have KEYS, no keychains at all?

[elSicomoro]

Rho shops at Whole Foods, but I'm not overly impressed with their products. Maybe I'm just spoiled by the preservatives and other not so good stuff that is put in "regular" food.

[Brigliadore]

This is my key chain. The purple thing is something I got at a convention a few years back (meant to hold your ID badge for the convention). I have it on my key chain because I loose the stupid things all the time and I find the long purple thing attached to it helps me find it under papers, chairs, pillows, and the many other places I set my keys down.

[Elspode]

Whoops...that should have been HD *28*, not 48...doh!

[wolf]

I must admit, with some embarrassment, that I really like those new coated Kwikset key blanks (like beestie has) ... of course, they become available JUST as I get my apt lock replaced which, instead of being on the original Kwikset blank like the OLD one is on the newer, larger style blank.

Feh.

No cool US flag or tiedyed keys for me.

[BrianR]

Wolf, did you move since the last time I checked in with you?