please recommend a self help book, therapy, drug...

[Trilby]

Oops, sorry, mrnoodle. Just read the stuff you posted in the Health Forum. Guess you are on other therapies...my bad.

[OnyxCougar]

Originally Posted by staceyv

After doing some research, it looks like I have a ton of symptoms of Asperger's syndrome.

Unfortunately, there's no cure for that one, but I guess it would be nice to get diagnosed with SOMEthing...I'll bring this up when I see a therapist.

TO me the symptoms you describe are not Asperger's. I have a child with Asperger's and it's not something you "get", it's something you're born with. Aspie's don't understand/recognize social cues, such as facial expressions, tonal inflection, sarcasm, and metaphors.

Generally, their problems in societal relationships are because they don't respond appropriately to what they DO percieve.

I think you're just stressed and depressed like the rest of us, and whether that's caused by physical issues and chemical imbalance or just the fact that you've reached the meltdown point is up to a professional to determine.

The fact that you think it will be nice to get diagnosed with something is telling, as well...

[mrnoodle]

Originally Posted by staceyv

Aww, Noodle, we have almost the same score! Do you feel like now is one of your depressive periods or are you in between?

I'm on the tail end of one...today I feel fine. That's probably because I'm busy. I think the days when I'm doing too much sitting around are worse - particularly if they're strung together, like during a slow work cycle. Plus I get to go to the studio in about an hour and finish the guitar bits for the new CD.

That will be either fun or stressful. Either way, it will be good.

[staceyv]

Noodle, you're so lucky you have a band. When I was in a band it was one of the happiest times in my life. I loved the feeling of purpose and doing something I loved...
One of my goals this year is to take drum lessons and meet more local musicians, try to get into a band in the next year or so. I think I'll have better luck with drums than guitar, because they come naturally to me and there aren't any chords/ lyrics to memorize, you just go by feel. My last band broke up because I was single, started messing around with the bass player, a recovered alcoholic, after a few months, he was in love and I wanted to marry an illegal brazilian for money. he flipped out, started drinking again, started harassing me with phone calls, embarrasing me in public, etc, so I had to avoid going anywhere where I might bump into him, which was basically, all of the places where I knew musicians and played out! I am totally out of the local music scene now and I feel bored with the guitar. It took me 11 years to get decent on it, but the first time I picked up a pair of drumsticks, I was playing real beats and I was in love. Everyone who's ever heard me play them says I have natural ability and I've been offered free lessons by a real music teacher (he said I could bring my husband with me ), but the guy lived too far away...I sold my drums a while back to pay for rent when I was still single and now my neighbors have small children and they didn't agree to me getting a set and practicing during the day, because the kids take naps...I don't know...

I used to read self help books everyday, about 1 book a week...I also read autobiographies of successful people, as instructed in one of the books...Anyways, I read Chuck Norris's autobiography, and he was a firm believer in the power of the subconscious. So, I went out and got a book called "The Power of the Subconscious Mind" or something like that...he book said that if you ask yourself a question right before you go to sleep, you will wake up with the answer. So, while falling asleep, I kept repeating in my head "The power of my subconscious mind will reveal my life's purpose to me..."
Well, I woke up with a voice in my head, and I NEVER hear voices, okay?!! Anyway, it was like a man's voice that kept saying "you have the beat, you have the beat, you have the beat"
And this was before I ever played the drums, or even thought about playing the drums. This was even before I got serious about guitar and got into a band!
And then, the first time I get on the drums, the guy was like "wow! I've never seen anyone play a real beat their first time!" After 6 months, He was like "I'm a little jealous, I've been playing for 8 years and it took me years to get that good...you could be professionally good if you keep playing..." One time, I went to jam with a band that needed a bass player, so we went through all the songs, blah blah blah, (bass is boring) and then i asked if I could play the drums and after I got done they were thinking of having me be the drummer and letting their current drummer play bass instead...Except that band never came through, kind of fizzled away.
GOD, I'm rambling.

[Troubleshooter]

Originally Posted by staceyv

Well, I woke up with a voice in my head, and I NEVER hear voices, okay?!!

[jinx]

Originally Posted by OnyxCougar

TO me the symptoms you describe are not Asperger's. I have a child with Asperger's and it's not something you "get", it's something you're born with.

Isn't Asberger's just a mild form of autism... lower end of the spectrum so to speak? If so, I don't think the cause or origin has been absolutely determined. I just read an article about a study linking it (autism) to Augmentin use (very commonly prescribed for ear infections despite studies suggesting that it really doesn't do shit for most of them), due to ammonia poisoning.

[staceyv]

OC, I just want to get diagnosed because once you find the cause of a problem, then you can find a solution. I HATE it when doctors only treat the symptoms without even finding the CAUSE. To me, that's the most important part. It seems to me that they're way better at just slapping on band-aids.

I came up with the Aperger's idea because I have these symptoms:

At age 6 I was reading 20 chapter books written for at least 5th grade reading level.

Be preoccupied with one or only few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. All-absorbing narrow interest -

I go through phases where I am 100% absorbed in one area and I don't want to waste my time doing anything else that doesn't contribute to that interest. I spent months researching pet food, years researching dog/cat training and behavior, a year on physical fitness, weight training routines, years on researching food allergy and the link between diet and health,
6 months when I played guitar everyday for 6 hours a day plus studied music theory,
2 months when all I did was collect and organize recipes...you get the picture. This is just weird! And my husband tells me I talk way too much.

Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized.

May have heightened sensitivity and get overstimulated by loud noises, lights, or strong tastes or textures- totally!

failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
lack of social or emotional reciprocity
lack of desire to interact with peers - I have no friends and it's probably because I can't be bothered with people. I don't WANT to be selfish or self-centered, I've read self help books to try to change that, but I seem to be in my own world.


Dislike any changes in routines- yup.

Have unusual facial expressions or postures- I like to sit indian style or stand with one leg up on the other, like a stork. (my husband does this too ) And people are always asking me what's wrong whan I am FINE! it seems that my natural facial expression looks very sad or something...

But no, I don't have some of the symptoms, like I'm not clumsy and I'm really good at reading body language and reading between the lines..Although maybe it helps that I read a few self help books on body language and social skills??

I also have a mental block when it comes to giving directions- I just can't. I don't know why. I drive to places everyday with no problem, but if someone asks me how to get there, I can't visualize how to get there and explain it to them.

Sorry I know my posts are too long and will probably prevent anyone from reading them..I just woke up from a 5 hour nap and I'm raring to go!!

[justme]

stacey, it seems like you're talented, artistic and creative.

The all what you need is to put all your things together. You're also seem so afraid to live without fears and worries. You're think it's a passion of the life. Nope.
Organize your life. That's it.
Stop believe nobody and nothing can help you. It seems to me you just like to be depressed.

[staceyv]

hey, you're from that russian website, aren't you? Your name is WOW there...I remember you.
I really don't like to be depressed, nor am I even sure that I am depressed....
I don't think anyone really wants to feel depressed, but I guess if you feel down enough long enough, it just starts to come naturally.
My life is one friggin roller coaster after another and maybe my whole problem is that my nervous system is just SHOT. There's also a thing called adrenal gland weakness, which can happen when you're under constant stress, as in waitressing!
So, justme, I'd like you to know that my husband and I are doing really well. He's a good guy who sometimes lacks common sense, but he does learn when he makes mistakes and we haven't had any problems since last year. We're happy together

[perth]

Originally Posted by staceyv

So, justme, I'd like you to know that my husband and I are doing really well. He's a good guy who sometimes lacks common sense, but he does learn when he makes mistakes and we haven't had any problems since last year. We're happy together

That's really good to hear. Congratulations to both of you for working it all out.

I don't think it's accurate to say a person "likes" to be depressed. But looking back, I can see how I was somehow "addicted" to it. I don't think I could explain why, but for a long time I felt as though I wasn't myself if I wasn't depressed about something. It sucks, I know (at least to a point) how you feel, and I really hope you do figure out what you need to get through it.

[justme]

Yes,it'she

It's so great to hear you're happy with your husband. Not quiet happy with your life.
You pay too much attention to your depression, I think. At least, it looks like.
What's about an idea to concentrate on the positive way a little bit better?

[justme]

"I don't think it's accurate to say a person "likes" to be depressed."

Neither do I. It was more likely an expression than statement.
I wanted to say the way stacey's talking about depression, how she's trying to deal with that is not all she can do. It's not enough just to stady that or just to talk about that. Sometimes it's better to wake up in sunny morning take a deep breath and push a bit of depression out. It works in any weather by the way

[staceyv]

Well, the reason that I'm going on and on about depression, is because this is a thread about depression! It's not like it's the only thing I focus on, it just happens to be the topic here. I am the type that likes to investigate, solve problems, etc. So, if I'm not feeling well or something's wrong or whatever, I will put a lot of effort in uncovering the source of the problem and trying to gain insight...So, when I find myself crying at work all of the time, that's a signal to me that something's wrong, so yes, I will spend a few hours each day looking into the problem online, reading, etc, because I want to solve the problem and I can't do that until I understand the problem..I don't know, it's tough to explain...
I do other things, too, like going out and singing karaoke, watching tv with my husband or shopping together or hanging out with his russian friends, I also study Russian, play guitar once in a while, cook, work, etc...
I don't want to come off as one-sided and completely enveloped in thoughts about my depression or whatever my problem is, I just like to get to the bottom of things and I have a strong urge to solve my issues.

[jinx]

Stacey have you tried a B6/12 supplement?

[justme]

Sorry, stasey. My posts didn't loook like suggestions at all. It should be those. I just realized that.