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02-07-2016, 12:00 AM | #1 | |||
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Feb 7th, 2016: They're Coming For Your Knobs
Y'all need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband, 'cause they comin' fo yo knobs! Join the NDA, the National Doorknob Association!
It started, like most of these socialist movements, in a for corner of the Earth, Vancouver, British Columbia. It's common knowledge, as goes Vancouver, so goes Canada. Then the other peaceniks like Scandinavia, Iceland, the UK and Australia, will be whining to the UN to pass a resolution. First thing you know, we in the land of the free and the home of the brave, will be subjugated by the socialist peaceniks. Quote:
Of course the damn whippersnapper socialist cells right here, joined in to tell us what's best for us. Quote:
Even tw's socialist bible joined the enemy. Quote:
Not just bears, dogs and cats will be sneaking out and stealing cars to hit the burger drive through windows that stay open late. We installed them for my mother and I put a couple in my house. Yes they are easier to use but both my mother and myself found they catch on clothing and things being carried. So best for closets where you aren't just passing through. Your mileage may vary.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. Last edited by xoxoxoBruce; 02-07-2016 at 12:05 AM. |
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02-07-2016, 04:34 AM | #2 |
Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buckinghamshire UK
Posts: 4,059
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It's the thin end of the wedge, I tell you.
Doorknobs today, bedknobs tomorrow. It's a call to arms, if ever I heard one.
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02-07-2016, 05:05 AM | #3 |
amnesic-confabulatory opsimath
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Between my ears
Posts: 739
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02-07-2016, 06:27 AM | #4 |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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Toddlers also open levers easier. When Minifob was 2-ish, we had to replace the lever knob on our front door because the child-proofing things for levers are weak (given the fulcrum physics of levers) and he kept being strong enough to break it and get out.
The only other way to keep him in (which my friend does, and we did consider) would have been installing an interior key lock and requiring a key to leave the house every time. Of course that's against building fire safety codes, too, so if I'm already a criminal I might as well get online and buy some contraband round knobs. Just tell the company to put it in an unmarked package. |
02-07-2016, 10:38 AM | #5 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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First they came for the incandescent bulbs and I said nothing...
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
02-07-2016, 10:40 AM | #6 | |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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i miss my incandscent bulbs.....
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02-07-2016, 10:55 AM | #7 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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I've got quite a stash, even some 1000 watt and 2000 watt photo lamps. I feel like the luminary equivalent of Montag from Fahrenheit 451.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
02-07-2016, 12:00 PM | #8 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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They'll find your incandescent bulbs with heat scanners in drones, then kick your door in at 3 AM with nut crushing concussion grenades and rabid dogs with stainless steel teeth.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
02-07-2016, 12:18 PM | #9 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
02-07-2016, 03:11 PM | #10 |
™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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This is a sucky time to live in if you don't like change.
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02-07-2016, 03:25 PM | #11 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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Tell me about it.
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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