Is there something consistently irritating about you?

[Flint]

Is there something consistently irritating, to almost every person you encounter, about some aspect of your personality, which you alone are not aware of? It's easy to spot these things in other people, but it's just as likely that you have one as well, and just don't know about it. You may have impeccable self-awareness, but this thing, by definition, is something you don't know about, so how can you be aware of it?

Here's a good test:
Every time you spot something that really grinds your gears, in somebody else, stop and think "Do I do that?" and you probably, in some way, do. Otherwise, why would it bother you so much? You feel that strong, irritating connection to that behavior, because it exists inside yourself.

I'm inside, open your eyes. I'm you. Sad, but true.

[DanaC]

Yup. It drives my friends and family mad that when they are in dispute with someone I have a tendency to try and put that other person's perspective to them. What they actually want is for me to say "yeah, the heartless bastard" instead of "yeah, I see how that would be annoying, but they may not have meant it in that way...if you think about where x is coming from..."

[Flint]

Originally Posted by DanaC

... I have a tendency to try and put that other person's perspective to them.

I'm so plagued by the tendancy to play Devil's Advocate that people often don't even know what my actual point is. I see all the possible points and comment a little on each one, even conceding to the opposition to let them know that I disagree with them from a place of understanding. But when they hear me stating their position, they think I agree with them. Demonstrating an understanding implies that maybe they could do the same.

[Shawnee123]

I can't stand when people eat tuna in the office. It stinks. I don't eat tuna in the office. Oh wait...I fart a LOT. See, you're onto something.

[limey]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Yup. It drives my friends and family mad that when they are in dispute with someone I have a tendency to try and put that other person's perspective to them. What they actually want is for me to say "yeah, the heartless bastard" instead of "yeah, I see how that would be annoying, but they may not have meant it in that way...if you think about where x is coming from..."

I can't read any further without confessing that this is me to a T .

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by limey

I can't read any further without confessing that this is me to a T .

My boss does that. It can get irritating but she's usually right. She's also a very good person, so I try to take her opinion to heart. Not that I can be really cynical or anything.

[Cicero]

This is long folks, I hope you have a moment. Good topic.

So I thought:I interrupt people. I had that sneaking suspicion in conversations and I would get "a look". Then my husband pointed it out....So I have adjusted my conversational style.

Now:

Another thing tells me that I am actually being interrupted constantly, and that I get "a look" when I break back in the conversation, and interrupt back to finish my initial thought, and expand on what people interrupted me with.

The other day someone consistently interrupted me every time they asked me a direct question, and wouldn't let me get my full answer out because they assumed what I was going to say next, or I don't know why. That's when I interrupted them and said, "hey, I was speaking". (I never do that or saw the need before) And continued with my answer.

So I adjusted this behavior that I thought was an aberration in the sense that I thought I might be doing it without even noticing, and all signs pointed to yes...that I am an interrupter (how could I be so irritating?). So then I pay attention and never interrupt, only to find that it wasn't a problem I had the whole time. Quite the opposite. I have found that I am being interrupted all the time, and now it's starting to become annoying. Here I was going to work on a personality trait and it was actually the problem of others that I hadn't noticed before.

Now I want to know what about my personality that I don't know about, makes people think that I should be interrupted after they directly ask me a questions or otherwise....so. If anyone has an answer..because I truly don't know why, please let me know. Why are they being irritating?

What is irritating about me, that makes other people irritating?

[lumberjim]

maybe you talk too fucking much?



kidding.


possibly, you're inflections lead them to think you're summing up. maybe you are circuituous in your patterns?

but, interruptors ARE annoying. fuck em if they get miffed when you call them on it.



I snore....and occasionally suck at my teeth. jinx can hear that in a noisy mall 3 stores away.

[Aliantha]

I am generally very patient with people and give them a pretty good go, but when someone shits on my blanket, it's very hard for me to find the will to forgive them.

This is something I've been trying to work on over the last few months, but it's a long road.

[Giant Salamander]

I finish people's thoughts for them (90% accuracy), give them the word they're searching for (95% accuracy), and get visibly impatient and edgy if they start repeating themselves, whether we had the same conversation a minute or a month ago.
I'm sure it pisses people off.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by Cicero

This is long folks, I hope you have a moment. Good topic.

So I thought:I interrupt people. I had that sneaking suspicion in conversations and I would get "a look". Then my husband pointed it out....So I have adjusted my conversational style.

Now:

Another thing tells me that I am actually being interrupted constantly, and that I get "a look" when I break back in the conversation, and interrupt back to finish my initial thought, and expand on what people interrupted me with.

The other day someone consistently interrupted me every time they asked me a direct question, and wouldn't let me get my full answer out because they assumed what I was going to say next, or I don't know why. That's when I interrupted them and said, "hey, I was speaking". (I never do that or saw the need before) And continued with my answer.

So I adjusted this behavior that I thought was an aberration in the sense that I thought I might be doing it without even noticing, and all signs pointed to yes...that I am an interrupter (how could I be so irritating?). So then I pay attention and never interrupt, only to find that it wasn't a problem I had the whole time. Quite the opposite. I have found that I am being interrupted all the time, and now it's starting to become annoying. Here I was going to work on a personality trait and it was actually the problem of others that I hadn't noticed before.

Now I want to know what about my personality that I don't know about, makes people think that I should be interrupted after they directly ask me a questions or otherwise....so. If anyone has an answer..because I truly don't know why, please let me know. Why are they being irritating?

What is irritating about me, that makes other people irritating?

Giant Salamander said: and get visibly impatient and edgy if they start repeating themselves, whether we had the same conversation a minute or a month ago

I wouldn't like to get these two alone together after a few drinks.

[wolf]

Apparently, it annoys other people greatly that I'm always right.

I know it's not always, but I try to make errors in private, I guess.

It comes from having an encyclopedic knowledge of darn near everything. Well, of enough trivia that it's excrutiatingly annoying.

My friends won't play Trivial Pursuit with them any more. When I end up in a new social circle, and the Trivial Pursuit set comes out, I beat everybody soundly. Then a second game begins with everybody playing against me. Third game I give them three wedges of their choice to start.

No fourth games.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by wolf

Apparently, it annoys other people greatly that I'm always right.

dot dot dot


My friends won't play Trivial Pursuit with them any more. .

well, you fucked that up, dintcha?

[wolf]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

well, you fucked that up, dintcha?

errrr. yah.

to my credit, I'm at work and had to leave the keyboard midpost to keep some asshole from hanging himself in the bathroom.

[Flint]

Please, who hasn't had to leave the keyboard midpost to keep some asshole from hanging himself in the bathroom?