Cleaning up after

[Griff]

Time to clean up the mess in Iraq, lets win the peace.

Catholic Relief Services

American Refugee Committee

Red Cross

[xoxoxoBruce]

I thought it was the Red Cresent in that area?

[Griff]

I believe its the same outfit.

[xoxoxoBruce]

BUREAU OF IRAQI AFFAIRS (Formed March 20, 2003)
Dear People of Iraq,
Now that you have been liberated from your oppressors, we at the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) look forward to our future relationship with you. As one of the oldest of American governmental agencies, we have a good deal of experience in assimilating people of other cultures to the American way of life. Further, in order to follow-up on our promise that, following the war, Iraq and Iraqi oil will belong to the Iraqi people, we will appoint an "interim government", in order to get the oil flowing - for your benefit of course. Meanwhile, below you will find a list of what to expect from the Office of the BIA, based on our vast experience managing the affairs of American Indians:
1. Henceforth, English will be the spoken language of all government and associated offices. If you do not speak English, a translator fluent in German will be provided.
2. All Iraqi people will apply to be entered on a citizen (tribal) roll. Citizenship will be open to those people who can prove that they are Iraqi back four generations with documents issued by the United States. Christian church records may also be given in support of proof of your origins.
3. All hospitals designated to serve you will be issued a standard "medical kit". The kit will contain gauze, band-aids, burn cream, iodine, tweezers, and duct tape.
4. Your oil is to be held in trust for you. We will appoint an American-approved government lawyer who has a background in the oil industry to represent your interests. Never mind that he may also work for an energy company that he will eventually cut a deal with. However, not to fear - this close relationship will guarantee you more money for your oil.
5. Each Iraqi citizen will be allotted one hundred acres of prime Iraqi desert. You will be issued a plow, a hoe, seed corn and the King James version of the Christian Bible. Following the distribution of land, any land left over will be open to settlement by Israelis.
6. Each Citizen is entitled to draw a ration of milk, sugar, flour and lard. If, for health or religious reasons, you feel cannot use the rations, you may file a complaint with your BIA appointed liaison, General Foods Corporation. Those Iraqis showing signs of diabetes, heart disease, or glaucoma will be issued double rations, as, (we are sure you will agree), our own medical system will be too alien for your use.
7. We will manage your trust monies, stipulating that any five year-old American citizen, demonstrating minimal computer skills, may hack into the system that controls your accounts, and set up their own account. Records of your accounts will be kept, but you must receive express written permission from the head of the BIA in order to examine them
8. In keeping with the separation of Church and State supported by the US constitution, Christian missionaries will be sponsored through government funding to provide your local educational and social services. Of course, only Iraqis who convert to Christianity will be allowed to hold jobs within the government.
9. For the purposes of future treaty making, any single Iraqi will be found competent to sign land-session treaties on behalf of all other Iraqis.
10. Welcome to the Free World and have a nice day!

[Whit]

     I'm glad to know that there is an organinization ready to help these people. Especialy in the food department. I'm sure the sugar, milk, flour and lard will be seen as a christian-godsend.
     My only concern is that with such fair and equitable treatment they might wish to continue the relationship after we've sucked the oil dry. This might be problematic. I'm sure, however, that an Official Iraqi goverment will be ready to take the reins when that day comes.

[Lt]

I agree with the anti-US sentiments so poetically expressed by the above cynics.

We should have left Iraq in the hands of a regime that tortured, raped and murdered it's own people on a daily basis and sponsored terrorist attacks on civilians.

And let's not forget we deprived Saddam and his close family and friends of the benefit of the aforementioned oil which was justly supporting their lavish lifestyle while their people starved.

Nice political move to keep the supplies from the "Oil for Food" program in warehouses, Saddam, instead of distributing it to your starving people just to make the US look bad btw. What's a few thousand of your own people's lives mean if you can make political gains? Respect dude.

Now, if we hadn't so unjustly stomped on that nice Mr. Hitler during the second world war, we wouldn't be in the embarrassing position of having the freedom to have this discussion. He'd have made sure most of us weren't even born.

Sound familiar? A little like Iraq was being run perhaps?

Heil Saddam.

As we've seen with this war, some people will blindly protest against anything because they want to be rad and cool. Does nobody else find this kind of protesting, just to build street cred, a little sick?

Are the protesters not exploiting the plight of these people as much as anyone for their own purposes? Don't even TRY telling me you care.

And where were you when the Iraqis were being killed by their own government huh? Why didn't you assholes protest then?

"Social Justice" was a recurring theme of protests against this war. Go explain the sense in THAT to the Iraqi people who I'm sure will be happy to explain how much justice was extended to them under Saddam.

Fuck all you naive hippies out there. You're guilty of social apathy, cowardice and plain stupidity. It's a shame you didn't go to Iraq as human shields that way we wouldn't have to put up with your whining.

Oh, hang on...when the war got close all of those human shields suddenly realised they had left the light on at home and left...or provoked arguments with their hosts to get expelled.

Social justice and deeply held convictions? Pfffttt. Give me a break.

[Whit]

     This is cute Lt. I guess that satire is beyond your grasp? Ever heard the word "spoof"?
     I supposed you could have read a few threads where I stood up for our actions in Iraq, but then it's tough to make grand generalizations about people if you bother to get to know them.
     You see, my argument from the start of the war was that no matter how you feel about the war, or the president, our soldiers deserve your support.
     But what do I know, I'm just a "naive hippy guilty of social apathy, cowardice and plain stupidity."
     I'd like to thank you for your random attack. This kind of jumping on the offensive is really helpful. Oh wait, no it's not. It's the reason those dickhead protesters can come up with an excuse to feel good about their counter-productive actions. So that they can feel like they stood up to people like you that catch only a few lines and immediatly start name calling.
     Check Cellar history, you'll find that I never "whined" that we shouldn't be over there. I have to much respect for our troops for that. I don't remember Bruce doing so either.
     You have shown me the light though, I'll never make a joke again. After all, people that can't tell the difference and don't bother to pay attention might be offended.

[slang]

Originally posted by Lt
I agree with the anti-US sentiments so poetically expressed by the above cynics.

He doesnt know us enough to "get" the satire, but I like him. I would bet a dollar he owns an *evil* handgun too.

(slang snaps to attention with a crisp salute) Welcome aboard Sir!

[xoxoxoBruce]

Whoa fellas, play nice here. I admit I was being a smart ass (what's new) in responce to the thread. I don't think it was anti-US by a long shot. Anti- bureaucracy...always. I agree with what Lt said, but I think he posted it in the wrong thread. So lets cut him/her some slack. Let's just say "mistakes were made" and let it go at that. Maybe we can all get together and reload some shells.

[Whit]

     Hmm, I probably came off harsher than I inteded. Especialy since I'm pretty much in agreement with Lt. Of course, that's why I suggested looking up Cellar history, so he didn't have to take my word for it.
     Anyway, I'm willing to call this a case of friendly fire. So how 'bout we start over Lt?

[Whit]

     Hey, I just read something interesting on Jane's. They say Bush isn't going to lift sanctions unless Iraq starts trading oil with Isreal.
http://www.janes.com/regional_news/a...0416_1_n.shtml

From Jane's:
US efforts to get Iraqi oil to Israel are not surprising. Under a 1975 Memorandum of Understanding (MoU), the US guaranteed all Israel's oil needs in the event of a crisis.

     Well that's interesting...

The USA has another reason for supporting Paritzky's project: a land route for Iraqi oil direct to the Mediterranean would lessen US dependence on Gulf oil supplies. Direct access to the world's second-largest oil reserves (with the possibility of expansion through so-far untapped deposits) is an important strategic objective.

     This part I can see, and even like. It's a good objective.

[warch]

I'll vouch. American Refugee Commitee does great, predominantly medical, but also economic work. Consistently rated at the top of charity reviews- with something like 90+% of donation dollars going directly to programs, and you can indicate which area of work you support. There's no religious affiliation and they are apolitical.

[Griff]

Lt came around about the time slang joined us. If it were my style to start a bag on thread...

[wolf]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Maybe we can all get together and reload some shells.

I'm much better at emptying them, but I'm willing to learn ...

'Wolf
-----
(often wonders if cheaperthandirt.com has an autoship option)

[xoxoxoBruce]

I'm much better at emptying them, but I'm willing to learn ...

I don't think there's anything I can teach you.

a land route for Iraqi oil direct to the Mediterranean would lessen US dependence on Gulf oil supplies.

No problem. We'll just extend the pipeline that goes to Syria to the coast. And a spur to Isreal. Of course that's after we take Syria