The Ashley Treatment

[Aliantha]

The only thing I can relate to that is when my mum was dying and the palliative care group wanted to put her in Mr Ollivet which is the hospital everyone here goes to when they're beyond hope. I know my Mum said if we had to we should do it, but she was pretty clear about wanting to die at home. That's what happened in the end, and I'm glad she didn't have to leave her home before the end.

I hope you can find a way to stay in your home rkz. It's important.

The issue is over, at least until I start to die in earnest.
It was mostly about my father being "unable" to see my in this condition.
I am of two minds about it, I try to be compassionate and understand, sometimes it is very hard to be.

[Aliantha]

It's an emotional problem for your father? He'd rather not see you at all than see you in pain? (just guessing). Does he live with you?

That is all I can think of.
Across the street, he helps take care of my son sometimes.
He was supposed to help with me, but he does not.

[Aliantha]

You know, as sexist as it may sound, sometimes men just can't deal with such emotional issues. Then again, some women can't either. Maybe he just needs to know that it's ok if his heart is breaking and that no one blames him? Or maybe someone needs to kick him up the arse and remind him that he still has a son and needs to step up when he's needed most instead of wallowing in his own self pity?

In a lot of ways my mother is equally as bad and my wife's mother has been also.
This has been hard on everyone, my wife is the only one who has consistently tried to be above the disease, and it has gotten to her as well. But, she never tried to give-up.
He and I have always had issues... but there has always been love there and trust. Not so with my Mom.
He at least admitted it was a mistake, he did do that.
It still freaks me out though.

[Aliantha]

It's a hard road, but I think your parents especially should really try and see that it's you that has to live with it not them. Although it affects them profoundly, their lives are still in tact and they still have their health (I assume?). They need to remember how they cared for you the last time you were helpless...and realise that they still have the capicty to be there for you.

Some days they can, some not...
Honestly, I would just be happy with someone sitting and watching a movie with me.
I don't need to be reminded about how much someone has done for me... but that is a WHOLE OTHER discussion.

[DanaC]

Given the other medical issues, I think that euthenizing her would have been a better option.

At what age? Looking at those photos she looked pretty happy at the various stages. We have no idea what her quality of life is.

Yeah... I chose not to address that one at all.