Trilby

[plthijinx]

i'm somber. i'm numb. i thank you deeply for posting about your mother. i know it's hard. my heart bleeds for you. but rest assured, your mother was well liked and loved around here and will always dwell in the cellar!

[Beestie]

Taylor and Danny,

I enjoyed your mother's friendship - she was a beautiful person who had the gift of making everyone else happy just by being in her company.

A few Christmases ago during a Cellar Cookie Exchange, I sent her a batch of my Mother's Christmas cookies - I take some comfort in knowing that the warm memory of the simple joy we shared will far outlast the pain and shock of learning she has passed on.

I thank God for people like Brianna. You were blessed to have such a mother and I was blessed to have her as a friend.

[ZenGum]

Just a thought...

Does Juniper know about this?

Didn't she meet up with Brianna in real life? Should we try to contact her?

[Gypsy]

I am, as my sign-on states, Trilby's sister. She told me many times about this great on-line community. She enjoyed communicating with you all very much. I want to especially thank Bruce XOXOXO for the flowers and Cherry for her kind message on my sister's phone. I will never stop missing her but at least now she is at peace. Thank you all for caring about my sister. It makes it a little easier knowing she had so many friends. BTW, my other sister, Melissa and I have the cats; so Spiderman is safe!

[jimhelm]

Would you be comfortable letting us know, in general terms, what happened? Theres some speculation, but I've been leaving that question unanswered in my mind until I hear from someone who knows. Its fine if youre not, and thank you for posting at all, but if it is something you care to share, I would like to know.

Very sorry for your loss. I miss her v. much.

That right there (v. used as short for very) is something that she taught me, and will always remind me of her....

[footfootfoot]

There are a number of things I will forever associate (in a positive way) with Claudette.
100 pound boxes of cucumbers and math problems are on the list.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Oh yes, she's well woven in the fabric of the Cellar. I didn't know how hard it is to chuckle with a lump in my throat.

[Clodfobble]

I'm grateful to hear from more of her real-life family members. It is really very kind of you to come here and share her memory with us, these random people on the internet that your sister/mother was so important to. We've talked before on the board about whether anyone in our real lives would know to inform the Cellar if anything ever happened to one of us, and the answers were mixed. But you have gone above and beyond, and allowed us to grieve right alongside you. So thank you for that.

Her acerbic wit was second to none. I have always thought of her any time I saw a suit jacket with elbow pads, and I suspect I always will.

[DanaC]

Yeah. As the others have said: thankyou so much for posting here.

None of us need to tell you how special she was, but we'll say it anyway, because she was. And I don't think there's dwellar here who doesn't feel the loss of one of our own. It is surprisingly comforting to hear from her family, and to be included in that grieving.

I'm guessing you and her sons probably won't want to trawl through the whole boards, so there's a lot you probably won't see. So, I'll post a link here for you, to the poem I wrote for Tril. And thank you again for allowing us to share this part of her life with you.

X Dani

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=28746

[orthodoc]

I want to thank you as well for your kindness in communicating with us. Claudette was very kind to me during a crisis last summer - everyone here was, but she was able to share personal experience and was incredibly supportive and generous. I'll always appreciate that and cherish having had the chance to know her.

[Gypsy]

I feel so priviliged to get a chance to communicate with all of you. You may have never 'met" Claudette, but I believe you saw her true face here. DanaC, thank you for the beautiful poem. Claudette would have loved it. As to your qustions, I don't mind sharing what I know. On March 7, at around 4PM, my parents went to Claudette's house because they had not been able to contact her all day. She had passed away in her bed. The police were called and made a presumptive cause of death as a drug overdose. An autopsy was preformed and the results will take about 6 weeks. Those are the "facts", if you will. As to whether or not it was planned; family members differ in their opinion. Her sons believe it was an accident. Personally, I believe Claudette planned to kill herself. There was no note. In our last phone call, she told me not to feel guilty about bringing Autumn into her life. She said "don't feel guilty about anything". None of you should feel guilty about not stopping her. I am the one who should have been there, but I failed. Yet, I wonder if anyone could have saved her. She never saw how amazing she was; how gifted. My life is now very sad and monochromic. So many things we will never do; never go "across the pond", never go back to Cape Cod, never see another movie. However, going on about it won't change it. I must learn to live without her. Thank you for letting me see some of her old posts and for all your kindness.

[monster]

Hi Claudette-sis,

I tried so very hard to make it to her memorial and meet you too, but it just wasn't going to happen. But I am currently in your state and Claudette crosses my mind frequently. Particularly when I see all these huge trees down and remember her back yard woes. And I'm very glad you have Spiderman. I had visions of that cat making another of her famous bids for freedom and then coming back days later to find no-one there.

[Nirvana]

She will always be with you in your heart Trilby's Sis, and no one can ever take that away from you. I am so sorry for your loss.

[Sundae]

I'll post this in the Arran thread, where it will sit chronologically.
But for those who will only ever see this thread, this is how Limey and I remembered Claudette.

Bri always said she wanted to come to Arran. We promised eachother we would go together, in summer, and sate ourselves on history until it was time to stuff ourselves stupid on locally sourced food.
So Limey and I had to at least visit some standing stones to say our farewell.

The weather was grim. Not pouring with rain, but constant and chilly and enough to make it feel like a pilgrimage, not a stroll in the park. Perfect. I did not just want to leave flowers by the side of the road, I wanted something that Claudette-alive would have participated in, or at least appareciated.

Limey read the poems posted on the Cellar. With expression and sensitivity.
I'm not sure I could have got through them.
I had a speech all planned. Lots of refs to poems. But in the grey morning it occurred to me that the person I could have pointed them out to, the person who would have laughed at my temerity, was dead. So I settled on only two.

As I poured a libation of vodka on Bri's pebbles I referenced a line from Louis MacNeice's Snow.
"I peel and portion a tangerine and spit the pips and feel the drunkenness of things being various."
And as we left I remarked to Limey that there is now a part of Arran that at least in my memory will be forever American.

I sang through a closed throat.
Crowded House (of course).
How Will You Go.
In this youtube clip ignore the second track.

Claudette's stones.
More in the Arran thread later.

[jimhelm]

Oof.

Thanks, Sundae, thanks Limey.