Don't Wash Children

monster · 06-23-2014, 05:54 PM

a) they'll only get dirty again
b) it's easier to give a cat an afro perm
c) it's more environmentally friendly to stand them on the compost heap once a week, give them a light tap on the head so the dirt shatters off and is put to good use, and a great deal of water is saved.

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=30222

sexobon · 06-23-2014, 08:15 PM

d) people won't crowd them in swimming pools
e) mosquitos will find them less appetizing
f) their split ends will stick together

limey · 06-24-2014, 09:51 AM

g) it'll be easier to find them in the dark
h) you can stand them at the other end of the garden to distract the flies when you're sat out on the patio
i) no need to worry about unwanted boyfriends or girlfriends for your offspring

Sent by thought transference

Gravdigr · 06-27-2014, 07:55 AM

j) Sooner or later, child services will come and take them. Now there's a plus!

sexobon · 06-28-2014, 06:30 PM

k) you can start a Chia kid collection

monster · 06-28-2014, 09:44 PM

l) one of anything they have a pair of will disappear in the wash

Big Sarge · 07-01-2014, 06:58 PM

Uh-oh. We washed Bryanna and found out she is really a ginger

monster · 07-01-2014, 09:57 PM

Well at least you can play join-the-dots or that box game with her freckles when you're bored. And if you wash her again, you'll have a whole new game to play.

BigV · 07-01-2014, 11:09 PM

M--An immune system is a terrible thing to waste.

sexobon · 07-01-2014, 11:24 PM

n) won't have to buy sunscreen

limey · 07-02-2014, 02:02 AM

o) You can use them as a chalk board and write messages on them.

Sent by thought transference

Big Sarge · 07-02-2014, 03:02 AM

I wonder if I could sell advertising on them?

06-23-2014, 05:54 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Don't Wash Children a) they'll only get dirty again b) it's easier to give a cat an afro perm c) it's more environmentally friendly to stand them on the compost heap once a week, give them a light tap on the head so the dirt shatters off and is put to good use, and a great deal of water is saved. http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=30222 __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

06-24-2014, 09:51 AM	#3
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	g) it'll be easier to find them in the dark h) you can stand them at the other end of the garden to distract the flies when you're sat out on the patio i) no need to worry about unwanted boyfriends or girlfriends for your offspring Sent by thought transference __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

06-27-2014, 07:55 AM	#4
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	j) Sooner or later, child services will come and take them. Now there's a plus! __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

06-28-2014, 09:44 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	l) one of anything they have a pair of will disappear in the wash __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-01-2014, 06:58 PM	#7
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Uh-oh. We washed Bryanna and found out she is really a ginger __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

06-23-2014, 08:15 PM	#2
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	d) people won't crowd them in swimming pools e) mosquitos will find them less appetizing f) their split ends will stick together

06-28-2014, 06:30 PM	#5
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	k) you can start a Chia kid collection

07-01-2014, 09:57 PM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Well at least you can play join-the-dots or that box game with her freckles when you're bored. And if you wash her again, you'll have a whole new game to play. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-01-2014, 11:09 PM	#9
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	M--An immune system is a terrible thing to waste. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

07-01-2014, 11:24 PM	#10
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	n) won't have to buy sunscreen

07-02-2014, 02:02 AM	#11
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	o) You can use them as a chalk board and write messages on them. Sent by thought transference __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

07-02-2014, 03:02 AM	#12
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	I wonder if I could sell advertising on them? __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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