Stupid Excuses - Page 2

monster · 04-28-2010, 07:52 AM

Coupla years ago, one of the swimmers on the summer team said "I can't swim fast today, I'm lactose intolerant"

Gravdigr · 05-25-2010, 01:42 AM

Can't make it in today,Dave, I got the explosive diarrhea.

ZenGum · 05-25-2010, 06:42 AM

I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my feet. I can't stand work.

I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my eyes. I can't see myself getting anything done today.

I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my bowels. I don't give a shit.

I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my genitals. I don't give a well there are many more, you figure them out.

Shawnee123 · 05-26-2010, 03:08 PM

This isn't really an excuse, but it's kind of funny.

Student was all ticked off at the paperwork she had to fill out to get extra money. So, she was fussing and moping and grumping. She said "it's like pullin' teeth around here."

She hadn't a tooth in her head, by all reports. So, I guess she knew all about that.

SteveDallas · 05-26-2010, 04:46 PM

One of Mrs. Dallas' cow-orkers once called in tired. "I can't come to work, I'm tired."

Yeah... we've all been there. But we weren't too stupid to put up a better front.

And yes, the term cow-orker was around before Dilbert.

ZenGum · 05-27-2010, 08:30 PM

Chap who worked (sort of) for my language school in Japan once called in sick, because it was rainy that day and he "might get wet".

That excuse wouldn't even work in Australia. In Japan, you are expected to swim to work with a broken pelvis, if you must.

casimendocina · 06-02-2010, 07:38 AM

This one is boring as all buggery, but it's still my favourite...first came across it in Japan and still hear it on a regular basis...it never fails to make me laugh...
"I have a fever".

04-28-2010, 07:52 AM	#16
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Coupla years ago, one of the swimmers on the summer team said "I can't swim fast today, I'm lactose intolerant" __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-25-2010, 01:42 AM	#17
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Can't make it in today,Dave, I got the explosive diarrhea. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

05-25-2010, 06:42 AM	#18
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my feet. I can't stand work. I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my eyes. I can't see myself getting anything done today. I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my bowels. I don't give a shit. I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my genitals. I don't give a well there are many more, you figure them out. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

05-26-2010, 03:08 PM	#19
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	This isn't really an excuse, but it's kind of funny. Student was all ticked off at the paperwork she had to fill out to get extra money. So, she was fussing and moping and grumping. She said "it's like pullin' teeth around here." She hadn't a tooth in her head, by all reports. So, I guess she knew all about that. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-27-2010, 08:30 PM	#21
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Chap who worked (sort of) for my language school in Japan once called in sick, because it was rainy that day and he "might get wet". That excuse wouldn't even work in Australia. In Japan, you are expected to swim to work with a broken pelvis, if you must. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

05-26-2010, 04:46 PM	#20
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	One of Mrs. Dallas' cow-orkers once called in tired. "I can't come to work, I'm tired." Yeah... we've all been there. But we weren't too stupid to put up a better front. And yes, the term cow-orker was around before Dilbert.

06-02-2010, 07:38 AM	#22
casimendocina Professor Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,622	This one is boring as all buggery, but it's still my favourite...first came across it in Japan and still hear it on a regular basis...it never fails to make me laugh... "I have a fever".

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