The Amazing, Ongoing Saga of Verizon DSL (the condensed version)

[vsp]

IN PREVIOUS EPISODES:

Me: Hi, I have 768/128 DSL. You now offer 1.5/384.
Verizon: Yep, we do.
Me: Me want.
Verizon: Sure. Order's in. Check in a week if it's not up yet.
Me: Kthxbye.

(a week)

Me: It's not up yet.
Verizon: Says here that it is.
Me: It's not.
Verizon: Lemme check... (transfer) (transfer) You can't have, too far.
Me: But me want!
Verizon: Move closer. Call back again.
Me: Poop.

(monthly cycle begins)

Me: I still want 1.5/384.
Verizon: (transfer) (transfer) (transfer) You're too far away on the loop.
Me: Poop.

(repeat monthly cycle eight or nine times)

IN LAST WEEK'S EPISODE:

Me: I still want 1.5/384. This is a recording.
Verizon: Sure.
Me: What?
Verizon: Sure. Order's in.
Me: The loop distance was bad before. OK now?
Verizon: Sure, you're good now. Check back in a week if it's not up yet.
Me: Kthxbye.

Me: It's not up yet.
Verizon: Says here that it is. This is a recording.
Me: Not this shit again.
Verizon: Lemme check... (transfer) (transfer) (transfer) You can't have, too far.
Me: KABOOM VENT RANT RAGE
Verizon: Call local office. Maybe they can run a new wire.
Me: Kthxbye.

AND NOW, TODAY'S EXCITING EPISODE:

Me: Local office?
Different Verizon Number: Nope, we're just a phone bank.
Me: They said THIS number was the local office.
Different Verizon Number: They're on crack. What you need?
Me: I still want 1.5/384. They said maybe you can run a new wire.
Different Verizon Number: They're on crack. Here, talk to them. (transfer)
Me: ...
Verizon: Hi, it's us again.
Me: KABOOM VENT RANT RAGE WANT SUPERVISOR
Verizon: Wow, you're not happy.
Me: You noticed.
Verizon: Wow, the other departments are on crack.
Me: You noticed.
Verizon: Don't worry, we're in rehab. WE'RE the sane ones.
Me: We'll see.
Verizon: No supervisor, in meetings.
Me: How con-veeeeeeeenient.
Verizon: Running tests. (hold) Running tests. (hold) Running tests. (hold) Running tests. (hold) Call back later today.
Me: Kthxbye.

TUNE IN LATER TODAY FOR THE THRILLING CONCLUSION!

[Beestie]

I had Verizon DSL. I have the emotional scars and therapy bills to prove it. Learn from my mistake and call THIS man:

[vsp]

As aggravating as Verizon's customer service is, going from Verizon to Comcast is definitely not an improvement. Hell, I wish I could get someone other than Comcast for my CABLE TV; I'm not throwing more money at them.

I like DSL, and really can't complain too much about the Verizon DSL I've had; connectivity has been rock-solid over the last couple of years, the USENET feed is awesome, and I haven't been submerged in spam or promotional offers. I don't have to watch my connection speed bounce up and down depending on how many of my neighbors are downloading Swedish scat porn at once. (Not that there's anything wrong with Swedish scat porn.)

But my dad lives a mile farther away from the Verizon station (and he would know this, as he worked for Verizon for 25+ years), and HE has 1.5/384, yet I can't get it where I'm at. That's aggravating enough, but being told TWICE that I'd have it within days and then being denied (without a phone call, email, or any other notification of the denial) is a bit much.

[hot_pastrami]

I had several long, ongoing battles with another DSL-provider-from-Hell, Qwest. Their reps have no reservations about lying. At all. And then they falsify their notes in the Qwest call logging system. Here's the breakdown of the first exchange of fire:

• Lived in an apartment, got DSL, worked great.
• Needed to move out. Found a great place, called Qwest to make sure DSL would work there. Tech said it was within the loop distance, and that a line test said it was Good.
• Moved into new place with 1 year contract. Call Qwest, they say "Not in loop distance, sorry."
• "You guys said it was."
• "We say a lot of things, they can't ALL be true."

Episode 2 (this is the fun one):

• Bought a house. Called Qwest monthly until they said I could get DSL. Asked if I could still use the router I bought from them for $300, from my previous DSL plan in the same city, and they said Yes.
• DSL is hooked up. Configure router. No dice. Spend hours on the phone, and they realize that "Oh! You CAN'T use that router for this service, you need one model newer. $300 please."
• "Grumble, grumble... ok"
• Router arrives. Hook it up, it works. Yay! For about a week. Call support, spend hours on phone, and they decide the modem is defective. Bah. But it's under warranty. I send back old, they send me new.
• Hook it up... Yay! It works.
• Next phone bill has a $300 charge! Call Customer Service, they say "Our notes show that the tech informed you of a $300 charge for the new modem/router."
• "It was replaced under warranty." (explain for about an hour)
• "Ok, I'll fix it, forget about it."
• Couple weeks go by.... Get a disconnect notice in the mail. We will disconnect you if you don't send us $300!
• Call customer service, explain for an hour, they say they'll fix it for reals this time.
• About a week goes by, and they disconnect us for failure to pay.
• Call customer service, explain for about an hour, they say OK, we'll have it back up in a few days, and we'll fix the billing.
• DSL comes back up a week later.
• (Repeat the previous 5 steps every month for six months)
• Episode 3 occurs.

I'll spare you from Episode 3. Suffice it to say that Qwest sucks big, sweaty, Rhino balls.

[Happy Monkey]

My Verizon (BellAtlantic at the time) DSL installation went off without a hitch, and has been mostly reliable for several years.

Based upon this experience, I recommended it to my parents. Big difference. It took literally a year of constant phone calls, hardware replacements, software installation, and phone line replacements before it worked. Apparently one of the internal DSL modems they used for a while had a 50% ( ! ) failure rate. Not incompatibility, hardware failure. And they spent months trying to get the damn thing to work in my parents' computer.

[glatt]

vsp, forget about Verizon. Contact www.pa.net. It looks like they service your area. They do DSL. They have outstanding customer service. They are a relatively small sized outfit so you get the personal touch. They offer DSL. Do it today. They are competitively priced too.

I have them for my home connection. I like them a lot.

[vsp]

Originally posted by glatt
vsp, forget about Verizon. Contact www.pa.net. It looks like they service your area.

Results:
(610) xxx-xxxx did not pre-qualify for PA.net DSL service but it may still be available. If you think that you live in an area that is serviced by PA.net's DSL, please fill out the following form. We will attempt to manually qualify your telephone line and contact you with the results.

It would be $5/month more than I'm paying now for the same service (minus Verizon's news server), or $25/month more than the service I'm trying to browbeat Verizon into providing. If Verizon was still at $50/month for DSL, it'd be more tempting.

[glatt]

Oh well. Good luck with Verizon. Seriously.

[vsp]

AND NOW, THE THRILLING CONCLUSION:

Me: Calling back as asked.
Verizon: You want what?
Me: (tells tale of woe once again)
Verizon: You won't get 1.5.
Me: Why not?
Verizon: Too far, and wrong infrastructure.
Me: And my dad?
Verizon: Different infrastructure with a remote terminal, though I don't know how he's getting 1.5 either.
Me: Okay, leave him alone. Can mine be fixed?
Verizon: No.
Me: Poop.

[tw]

In the meantime, Verizon is currently installing dedicated fiber optics from each house to the CO. That is a T1 equivalent line from every house to the CO using fiber. A T1 line is typically 24 phone lines in one wire. They are literally installing fiber in every service area of every PA exchange as fast as they can hire help. Found anengineer walking the streets that would be fibered that week - which defines the horse whose mouth provides this information.

Distance alone is not a limiting factor on DSL. If your neighborhood is serviced by a concentrator or a SLIC, then you cannot have DSL. The copper wire must be instact from your home to the CO - no amplifiers, splitters, loading coils, or taps permitted. Any of these can result in no DSL service.

[lumberjim]

bragging:

i just got upgraded to 1.5 for free without asking by dejazzd.

goddamn it's fast. i downloaded a new netscape version in 2.5 minutes. it took 3+ hours to get the same download at work. wohoo

www.dejazzd.com

i'm near morgantown, vsp, so i doubt they reach you.

you are house hunting, yes? there's a really neat old house going up for auction nearby soon. lemme know if you're interested in details. i can get to west chester in 20 minutes, btw....

[Beestie]

Originally posted by glatt
vsp, forget about Verizon. Contact www.pa.net.

PA dot net (they are also my provider) contracts out their DSL through Verizon.

[glatt]

Yes, but you don't have to deal with Verizon. You deal with the nice folks at PA.net.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally posted by tw
Found anengineer walking the streets that would be fibered that week - which defines the horse whose mouth provides this information.

That was his cover story. He was actually one of W's hit men looking for TW.