Down here at the pawn shop

[infinite monkey]

Next week the guy will have been training to be a dentist, then decided against it. (presents you with spelunking tools.)

[Undertoad]

The nice thing in this kind of transaction, from the shop side of the counter, is that you know two things for certain:

1. These tools are stolen.

2. The moron thug has absolutely zero clue what he has, so you can tell him a $500 pipe threader is worth $20 and he will do the deal.

And then if the cops match the serial numbers and the plumber comes to get his threader, he can buy it back for $20.

(That happens 5% of the time. 95% of the time, I sell it on the bay for $500 and the shop makes an enormous profit.)

[glatt]

I was wondering why Steve would ask questions. Because why bother if you aren't trying to determine if the tools are stolen? But it's so you can negotiate the best price. Of course!

[Undertoad]

Today I sold an automatic watch winder and proclaimed it to be the douchiest item I have ever sold on eBay. I'm very, very sorry if you have one of these, but I assume you don't, since we are almost entirely douchebag-free here on The Cellar.

This item is for you if you have a multi-thousand dollar watch that automatically winds while you wear it and move your arm. You only need this if you don't wear the watch regularly enough for it to automatically wind. The watch will rotate in the box, and wind itself for you. You may rotate your watch clockwise, counter-clockwise, or an alternating combination of both.

The winder runs on two D batteries and I am very surprised that there are no douchebag batteries that you must use in it; plain old D cells of any variety will do.

This item will sell for about $100 on the bay, but while researching it I found that you can buy them in burlwood in case you want to be even douchier by killing rare trees while pursuing your douchebag activities.

There are douchier items on the bay and most of them are also watch winders. Here's one of the douchiest items ever sold on eBay, a model that will wind eight watches at a time for you. someone bought this item for $585. Shipping was not free.

I personally get my 100% accurate time from my phone, which gets it from the same system that the Naval Observatory uses to give us the accurate time to within milliseconds. None of the watches wound by this system will be as accurate, since they are set by human hands.

[sexobon]

It's not just the 18K gold case, diamond studded, Rolex crowd that uses them.

Most divers' watches are autowind. Dive watches in which a battery has to be replaced have to be serviced in a nitrogen environment to purge atmospheric humidity so the watch doesn't fog up inside during use. The watertight seals also have to pressure checked. Most divers and dive shops don't have the equipment to do this. Sending a battery operated dive watch out for battery replacement every few years becomes an expensive nuisance.

Mechanical autowind watches need servicing only every 10-15 years for cleaning, lubrication, and seal testing/replacement. Routinely wearing them to keep the mechanism moving helps keep their lubrication from congealing and extends the service interval. For those who don't regularly wear their dive watch, that's where the automatic watch winder comes in. I can imagine a dive shop or a dive club having a watch winder that holds 8 watches to keep that piece of dive equipment in good shape and ready to go for them.

The lesser accuracy of mechanical movements is a red herring considering the length of duration for a typical dive and for most other purposes. Not to mention that when your phone battery goes dead or you drop your phone in the toilet, your Naval Observatory time (accurate to within milliseconds) will no longer exist for you. With an autowind diver's watch, a thorough rinse and you're good to go. That's why they're also used by military, police, sportsmen, and all sorts of others.

Of course, there are kinetic hybrids in which the mechanism charges a capacitor which powers a more accurate quartz movement. There are solar powered dive watches. There are even high end battery operated quartz dive watches like mine which runs for 8 years on a battery and is accurate to within 20 seconds a year (typical quartz watches are at about 20 seconds a month). Battery operated dive watches can be made smaller than the others so mine is also my everyday watch. The aforementioned are all expensive; however, compared to a basic mechanical autowind diver's watch that gets the job done. A $100 watch winder is icing on the cake for a budget minded working stiff who needs to use a DURABLE timepiece.

If it had the AC adapter included at that price, I would have been interested as my backup watch is a workhorse all mechanical autowind diver's that I have to remember to wear occasionally to keep the lubrication moving. I try to do that when I have to be out in the rain and when I go swimming: my cell phone doesn't exactly excel at those.

[Pamela]

my watch recharges by sunlight (green!), sets it's time nightly by radio and is generally a cute toy.

[sexobon]

Solar watches are nice. Nowadays the better ones will store several months worth of operating charge. I could easily go the solar route if I were buying a watch today.

My watch was made for just the domestic market (Japan) and is no longer in production; but, can periodically be found used-near new on eBay in the $400-$450 range. I like it because even though it's a diver's watch, it's appearance is still suitable for business casual wear:

[sexobon]

This is my automatic dive watch nicknamed the Seiko Bullet Watch for the shape of its hour markers. It's a workhorse for anywhere in the world - don't have to worry about the availability of batteries, light, or radio signals. It's bulkier than the watch pictured above; but, costs only half as much:

[Undertoad]

Of course there was always the risk that someone would appreciate the item once I pronounced it douchey.

My phone is waterproof...

[xoxoxoBruce]

There must be a market, however limited. If it was just a novelty, I doubt they'd make it an eight watch capacity and ask that kind of money.

[Undertoad]

The list price on the 8 watch model is $1875. What kind of dive shop would install that gear?

That's right, a douchey dive shop!!!

[xoxoxoBruce]

Now now, that would be a shop for up-scale clientele. Don't mock your betters, young man.

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Of course there was always the risk that someone would appreciate the item once I pronounced it douchey. ...

You had nothing to do with it. I was checking into them 20 years ago. A LOT of people would want them if they were more affordable.

Originally Posted by Undertoad

... My phone is waterproof...

No it's not. There are only varying degrees of water resistance and phones are not highly rated. Their depth rating (ft/m/atm) doesn't even guaranty the construction is effective against high humidity. Water vapor molecules can pass through where larger water droplet molecules can't. That's how Gore-Tex works.

Originally Posted by Undertoad

... The list price on the 8 watch model is $1875. What kind of dive shop would install that gear? ...

The ones smart enough to buy second hand on eBay.

A simple example of people who would like to have an automatic watch winder if they were cheaper are those saving lives by doing trauma management. They don't want to be fumbling for a phone to time pulse and respiratory rates when their hands may still be full of blood and guts. They want a user friendly, reliable and durable timepiece on their wrist to keep their hands free to do other things while taking vital signs. A $200 automatic dive watch fits the bill as it does for many other activities. You didn't seem to be aware of this:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Today I sold an automatic watch winder and proclaimed it to be the douchiest item I have ever sold on eBay. ... This item is for you if you have a multi-thousand dollar watch that automatically winds while you wear it ...

Mouthy ignorance is always douchey.

[Undertoad]

Originally Posted by sexobon

You had nothing to do with it. I was checking into them 20 years ago. A LOT of people would want them if they were more affordable.

It's a small electric motor, a gear, a switch, and a box with the cheapest microcontroller. The unit costs on this are about the same as a $10 desk fan.

So if this was $20, which it should be, it wouldn't be douchey. But it lists at $199. And apparently this high cost is resulting in underwound watches causing deaths from poor pulse rate counts everywhere. That's double douchey!

Those EMTs should follow the lead of the nurses. Just about every nurse I've ever known uses a Mickey Mouse watch.

[infinite monkey]

Those EMTs should follow the lead of the nurses. Just about every nurse I've ever known uses a Mickey Mouse watch

As long as she or he isn't wearing Tweety Bird scrubs. I could be in the trauma center, half dead, and if they have someone with Tweety Bird scrubs on I will scream and demand someone else. Daffy Duck. Sylvester even. I HATE that bird. Instigating phony little fuck. /innerstanduproutine