Really Creative Insults - Page 3

fargon · 03-23-2007, 09:18 AM

You would not notice those qualities in me, if you did not possess them yourself, to some small degree.

Hyoi · 03-23-2007, 10:29 AM

Please face me when we’re speaking. You’re so shallow, you disappear when you stand in profile.

Your parents must have been shocked when you showed up. They were told that conception by anal sex was impossible.

Don’t feel too terribly bad. I think your low self-image is FULLY justified.

You must be the Second Coming. Only God could have been tough enough to fuck your Mama.

You wrinkled old bastard. Your face looks like Estelle Getty’s butt. (Bernard to Don Imus).

Ripley’s doesn’t believe you.

Your mother’s milk is donkey piss. (The Haj, Leon Uris)

You were a wasted fuck. Your old man should have rolled over and shot you on the wall.

Just how long ago DID you flatline?

I'm terribly sorry you’re so heartbroken, but you must understand that even the National Enquirer has standards.

You’re the reason most brothers and sisters don’t have sex.

You’re the only person I know that goes to a dentist for a pedicure.

DanaC · 03-23-2007, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Don’t feel too terribly bad. I think your low self-image is FULLY justified.

I love that one.

Trilby · 03-23-2007, 01:35 PM

Thou rank dismal-dreaming coxcomb!

Shawnee123 · 03-23-2007, 01:40 PM

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S Cobb

Sheldonrs · 03-23-2007, 01:45 PM

Can you give me your parent's phone number? I want to scream "Do Over!" at them.

Crimson Ghost · 03-23-2007, 02:02 PM

I've seen better heads on lettuce.

Say, do you comb your hair with bacon grease?

rigcranop · 03-23-2007, 09:17 PM

You should have been a blowjob.

WabUfvot5 · 03-23-2007, 10:59 PM

If your penis is so small you must belittle others to prove your self-worth then I feel great relief knowing you will never reproduce.

Usually it takes the recipient a lengthy amount of time to comprehend what has been said... priceless.

Urbane Guerrilla · 03-24-2007, 01:07 AM

Now what might we do with one-word coinings and resurrections of some moldy oldies?

Nithing is one of the deepest-insulting one-worders I know.

Stumblefuck has more of a military flavor.

I've only read two pages of this thread, so apologies if these have already been quoted:

"I would [despise you], if I gave you any thought." -- Rick, Casablanca

"In the 19th century, a British politician by the name of Benjamin Disraeli was being verbally attacked by a fellow statesman who said, 'You will either die of the gallows or of the plague.' His response was, 'Sir, that depends on whether I embrace your morals or your mistress.'" -- quoted in a Laffer speech

monster · 03-24-2007, 07:57 PM

If your mother were Anna-Nicole Smith and your father George W. Bush, you'd probably be less fucked up.

Aliantha · 03-24-2007, 09:53 PM

For women,

If a man yells across the steet, "Hey baby, come sit on my face"

Response, "Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?"

zippyt · 03-24-2007, 10:02 PM

:p

Good one !!!!

Aliantha · 03-24-2007, 11:27 PM

I know.

And very effective too.

Hyoi · 03-25-2007, 12:10 PM

You really don't need to fill out that DNR form. They'll take one look at you and INSTANTLY know to pull the plug.

03-23-2007, 09:18 AM	#31
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	You would not notice those qualities in me, if you did not possess them yourself, to some small degree. __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

03-23-2007, 10:29 AM	#32
Hyoi Faithful Companion Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 188	Please face me when we’re speaking. You’re so shallow, you disappear when you stand in profile. Your parents must have been shocked when you showed up. They were told that conception by anal sex was impossible. Don’t feel too terribly bad. I think your low self-image is FULLY justified. You must be the Second Coming. Only God could have been tough enough to fuck your Mama. You wrinkled old bastard. Your face looks like Estelle Getty’s butt. (Bernard to Don Imus). Ripley’s doesn’t believe you. Your mother’s milk is donkey piss. (The Haj, Leon Uris) You were a wasted fuck. Your old man should have rolled over and shot you on the wall. Just how long ago DID you flatline? I'm terribly sorry you’re so heartbroken, but you must understand that even the National Enquirer has standards. You’re the reason most brothers and sisters don’t have sex. You’re the only person I know that goes to a dentist for a pedicure. __________________ When you stop trying to make sense of it all, it all begins to make sense. Last edited by Hyoi; 03-23-2007 at 04:29 PM. Reason: Hyoi stupid hross. Spell name wrong.

03-23-2007, 01:35 PM	#34
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Thou rank dismal-dreaming coxcomb! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

03-23-2007, 01:40 PM	#35
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S Cobb __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

03-23-2007, 01:45 PM	#36
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Can you give me your parent's phone number? I want to scream "Do Over!" at them. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

03-23-2007, 02:02 PM	#37
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	I've seen better heads on lettuce. Say, do you comb your hair with bacon grease? __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

03-23-2007, 09:17 PM	#38
rigcranop Resident Denizen Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: s. jersey Posts: 62	You should have been a blowjob.

03-23-2007, 10:59 PM	#39
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	If your penis is so small you must belittle others to prove your self-worth then I feel great relief knowing you will never reproduce. Usually it takes the recipient a lengthy amount of time to comprehend what has been said... priceless.

03-24-2007, 01:07 AM	#40
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	Now what might we do with one-word coinings and resurrections of some moldy oldies? Nithing is one of the deepest-insulting one-worders I know. Stumblefuck has more of a military flavor. I've only read two pages of this thread, so apologies if these have already been quoted: "I would [despise you], if I gave you any thought." -- Rick, Casablanca "In the 19th century, a British politician by the name of Benjamin Disraeli was being verbally attacked by a fellow statesman who said, 'You will either die of the gallows or of the plague.' His response was, 'Sir, that depends on whether I embrace your morals or your mistress.'" -- quoted in a Laffer speech __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course. Last edited by Urbane Guerrilla; 03-24-2007 at 01:14 AM.

03-24-2007, 07:57 PM	#41
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	If your mother were Anna-Nicole Smith and your father George W. Bush, you'd probably be less fucked up. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-24-2007, 09:53 PM	#42
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	For women, If a man yells across the steet, "Hey baby, come sit on my face" Response, "Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?" __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

03-24-2007, 10:02 PM	#43
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	:p Good one !!!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

03-24-2007, 11:27 PM	#44
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I know. And very effective too. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

03-25-2007, 12:10 PM	#45
Hyoi Faithful Companion Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 188	You really don't need to fill out that DNR form. They'll take one look at you and INSTANTLY know to pull the plug. __________________ When you stop trying to make sense of it all, it all begins to make sense.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)