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Old 06-11-2008, 08:23 PM   #1906
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
That made my week.
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Old 06-12-2008, 05:46 AM   #1907
Sundae
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lookout123 View Post
Brilliant. sad, true, but brilliant.
Hey! As someone who learned maths in the 80s I resemble that remark!
I actually have a learning disability in maths and my teachers had to work extra hard to get me through my exams. I can assure you it was still taught 50s style in my school.

Anyway, as you were.
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Old 06-12-2008, 07:39 AM   #1908
BrianR
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it's a JOKE, not commentary. Sheesh.
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Old 06-12-2008, 08:49 AM   #1909
Sundae
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That's why I didn't quote the joke in my remark, but Lookout's comment that it was true.
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Old 06-12-2008, 09:21 AM   #1910
lumberjim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
That made my week.
the difference between oral and anal:

oral can make your whole day

anal can make your hole weak
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Old 06-12-2008, 09:35 AM   #1911
HungLikeJesus
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What's the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer?


The taste.
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Old 06-13-2008, 07:15 AM   #1912
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the

first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing.

When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked,



"What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird."

"I had tolio as a child," he answered.

"You mean polio?" she asked.

"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."



When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked

"What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"

"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained. "You mean measles?" she asked.

"No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."

The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.





As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.

"Don't tell me," she said.



"Let me guess..............

^

^

^

^

^

^

^

^

^

^

^

^

Smallcox?"
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Old 06-13-2008, 12:32 PM   #1913
lookout123
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Posts: 10,308
i lol'd.

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Old 06-13-2008, 10:29 PM   #1914
Kagen4o4
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nice
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something we both can enjoy??
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Old 06-13-2008, 10:32 PM   #1915
Flint
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ha ha ha
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it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:55 PM   #1916
classicman
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--- Black Hurricanes

--- Black Hurricanes

Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston ), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names.

She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up!

She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in "language"
that street people can understand because one of the problems that
happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report.

I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at
140+ MPH, that's too hard to understand

I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says...

Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-ca ne Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket!
Bitch be a category fo'! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren,
leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE shit!
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:15 PM   #1917
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
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Posts: 18,449
.
Attached Images
 
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:35 PM   #1918
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
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Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
The survey
Last month the UN conducted a worldwide survey with one question:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant
In the US they didn't know what "rest of the world" meant.
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:05 PM   #1919
regular.joe
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Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women.
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Now that's garsh darn funny!!
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:40 PM   #1920
xoxoxoBruce
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Three Priests are sitting around the coffee shop, discussing the value of confession. They decided they would each confess their secret sin to the other two.

Priest #1 says, "My secret sin is, I like to drink when I'm away from prying eyes".

Priest #2 says, "My secret sin is, I like to bet on the ponies, when I sneak off to the track".

Priest #3 says, "My secret sin is, I love to gossip. Gotta run now".
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