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Old 06-20-2013, 10:37 PM   #1
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Come-back Kings and Queens Converge.....

My high-school freshman-to-be is saving his growth spurt for a special occasion, and as a result is still a smidge shy of footfootfootfootfoot. He is playing hockey and polo with the teams that he will join, and could use a repertoire of retorts for those dumb enough to comment that he's short.

We have:

Yeah and you're ugly, but I'm gonna grow
Yeah, but I'm only 6, imagine how good I'm gonna be when I'm 14....

as you can see we need help, so have at it......
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Old 06-20-2013, 11:26 PM   #2
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
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ooh ooh....

I'm environmentally friendly -less packaging, more product
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Old 06-21-2013, 04:29 AM   #3
Aliantha
trying hard to be a better person
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
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How bout, i might be short, but you defo need to grow up.
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Old 06-21-2013, 05:58 AM   #4
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
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I like the ugly one. It's simple, direct, and right on target. If you come up with something that's really clever, it makes it look like he's trying too hard. He needs to make it look like he doesn't care.
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Old 06-21-2013, 06:36 AM   #5
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt View Post
He needs to make it look like he doesn't care.
The most crushing put-down I ever received was when I was doing a show, and we had to hoist someone up on a series of wooden disks. I was part of the kneeling crew, others held their disk at waist height and finally there were those who shared the weight on their shoulders.

Nick was our best singer, and I said without thinking, "Why doesn't Nick do it?" He looked at me and said simply and directly, "Because I'm 16 stone, why do you think?"

I hadn't actually meant to joke about his size, but I was crushed. As crushed as we'd have been if we hefted Nick up there

The best comeback is to treat teasing as if it's completely irrelevant.
I never learned that trick myself, so I do like the other suggestions. Maybe he could tell them his parents have given him permission to cunt-punt them.
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:10 AM   #6
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundae View Post
The best comeback is to treat teasing as if it's completely irrelevant.
nope, not on a sports team. But srsly, this is for shits and grins and general amusement, otherwise it would be in parenting.

When I was a kid the advice for those of smaller stature (other than to ignore it which these days is key to pile it on harder) was to say "precious things come in small packages" (yeah, like poison )
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:46 AM   #7
ZenGum
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
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Dude, my eyes are at tit level.
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Old 06-21-2013, 08:28 AM   #8
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
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the best defense being a good offense, he should say "can i borrow a dollar? I'm a little short."
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Old 06-21-2013, 08:32 AM   #9
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
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snort
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Old 06-21-2013, 11:14 AM   #10
BigV
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Join Date: Nov 2004
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Nose to nose, his toes are....


Nah.. too soon.
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Old 06-21-2013, 12:20 PM   #11
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZenGum
Dude, my eyes are at tit level.
Ha!
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Old 06-21-2013, 12:22 PM   #12
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
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"You know who else was tall? Hitler."



It's not actually true, Hitler was on the short side. But I'd bet most teens don't know that.
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Old 06-21-2013, 01:04 PM   #13
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZenGum View Post
Dude, my eyes are at tit level.
Quote:
Originally Posted by infinite monkey View Post
the best defense being a good offense, he should say "can i borrow a dollar? I'm a little short."
multiple lols
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Old 06-21-2013, 02:24 PM   #14
limey
Encroaching on your decrees
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
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My height? It's to make you think I'm easy to overlook ...


Sent by thought transference
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Old 06-21-2013, 04:26 PM   #15
BigV
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Join Date: Nov 2004
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you know why you should never raise your hand against me, doncha?


it leaves your groin exposed.
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