Sex With A Stranger...? - Page 3

Trilby · 05-14-2008, 04:26 PM

Oh, gawd, Sundae. I hope he doesn't embarrass every American male by doing something stupid like not paying. Course he should pay! but, as a wise woman once said, it's always smart to have taxi fare in your pocket in case he turns out to be a loser.

Good LUCK, sweetie! You're looking so foxy fine! I just loved the corset, btw!!!

Clodfobble · 05-14-2008, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Also, only really wondering because of the slight sultural difference - with a Brit I would always assume I was paying, even on a date. Although some men have refused to let me, most do. If I ask him in advance via email will he think I'm some sort of sponger, or worse still someone who can be bought?

Personally, I wouldn't ask. It can be an awkward topic no matter what the answer. I'd just go on the assumption that you'll be paying for your half, and if he pays for you, consider it a bonus!

hampor · 05-14-2008, 05:27 PM

Dear S.G.,
If he pays, it night mean he's thinking of it as a "date" date, rather than a mutual arrangement. Make sure that you are both on the same page.
You should probably try to pay your half of dinner, and if he insists then you should try at least once more. Or maybe compromise by offering to buy coffee/desert/drinks at the next stage of the evening.

Hospitality is a tricky thing, culturally. A Lebanese architect friend of mine was working with some German civil engineers. Work was running late, and one of the engineers offered my friend some cheese and crackers that he had on hand. My friend was very hungry but he declined, since in his culture you always decline the first offer, but the engineer didn't make a second offer.

Have fun.

Sundae · 05-14-2008, 05:52 PM

Thanks for the advice guys. Very good points.
However I'd been thinking about it all week and posting here was (probably) just a prelude to going my own sweet way!

I did email him. I put it this way "Are you on a budget btw? I am fully expecting to pay my own way, which does influence where we go pricewise, but I'd prefer somewhere with good honest food than a swish place anyway."

This was buried in other info re the places recommended to me. One would be way out of my price range anyway. May not have been the most elegant handling of the situation, but now I feel I don't have to worry.

In other news (will I ever meet someone and hope he doesn't find this?!) I went for it on the sex with a stranger front. Posted some explicit pics and a message on craigslist. Fifteen minutes and seven replies so far - although I know people only tend to respond to the ones on top of the list anyway.

Whoosh! Am all excited!
Even if I follow none of them up (set up a gmail account as advised) then I've had the rush of doing it. But I'd prefer the rush of doing it

You can find the ad if you want to. Be warned though, it's personal if not exactly private (!) and I'm not up for sharing it with the Cellar. If you go to view it fair enough, but please don't link it.

Aliantha · 05-14-2008, 06:03 PM

So, only one more sleep before the big date huh? did he respond to your email?

I say take enough to pay your way and for a taxi if necessary, but if he wants to shout you that'll be nice too. I don't think it means anything if that's what he wants to do. It's up to you how far you go with him. Just keep yourself safe. That's all that really matters.

Sundae · 05-14-2008, 06:10 PM

No, honestly it's not a date. I'm getting excited because it's dinner and chat and showing off my home city, which I love, to a furriner.
And I've gone all girly in the warm weather and am looking forward to dressing up.
He'll probably respond tomorrow. I'll keep you up to date.

As for the men responding to my ad... Lots!

Aliantha · 05-14-2008, 06:14 PM

sounds like fun. Almost makes me wish I were single again. lol (I hope my husband doesn't see this. lol)

Cloud · 05-14-2008, 09:26 PM

good luck, hon, with everything

DucksNuts · 05-14-2008, 09:48 PM

Its a great confidence booster huh, Sundae?

Sounds like a wonderful way to spend an evening, and at worse case scenario...you get to dress up, wander about and have a nite out.

I envy you! have a ball lovely.

TheMercenary · 05-15-2008, 06:24 AM

Yea, have fun and relax with it.

Sundae · 05-15-2008, 08:00 PM

Well now, he replied to say, "Please don't give a thought to paying on Friday. I'm having a lovely lady go out of her way to show me a nice evening. It would be my honour to show you a nice evening as well."

A credit to your country!
Which means I don't have to worry about going over budget, yay! But he also wants to eat authentic dim sum, so I'm happy to cross the place I couldn't afford off the list - we'll go into the heart of Chinatown.

My dress won't be here on time - it's not being posted til tomorrow

But then it's going to be rainy, so probably for the best. Jeans and a pretty top will do it. With platforms to keep my jeans bottoms off the wet pavements of course!

Re the other ad. It was removed within about 6 hours. No nudity apparently. Coulda fooled me! Still - 30-odd replies before it was. About 10 possibles and 5 likelies. The possibles I need more info, the likelies it's a case of communicating then meeting them and seeing if the spark is there. No spark, no point. The opportunity is fantastic though. I've been completely up front (ahem) so I won't have any hang-ups. Well - I may find some, being me.

I should be getting my beauty sleep now. Damn Diet Coke!

jinx · 05-15-2008, 08:07 PM

This is all so exciting SG, I can't wait to hear more...

Sundae · 05-17-2008, 09:15 AM

Met my American boy last night.
He represented your country very well. Completely charming, intelligent, funny. He did very courteously offer his bed for the night, with the codicil that he wouldn't promise to let me sleep. But although that made my heart beat faster and gave me a definite tingle, I chose to go home. Probably because he'd been so very flattering I didn't want to spoil his opinion of me!

We had Dim Sum in China town - he likes to eat and enjoyed the fact I did too. Then walked for white a way through London, although I managed to take us round in a circle at one point

He loves London and it was a pleasure to show it to him.

What can I say - a wonderful evening.
If he contacts me I will definitely meet up next time he's here - which is another training session in a couple of weeks. I can't promise to be as well behaved in future, but that's his conscience I guess!

In other news, I've made plans for next Saturday! It's still a case of meet & see if there's a spark. But it's a plan at least. Two other possibles. I'm not really up for it today (Dylan missing for 48 hours now - been going door-to-door) but I'm sure at some pointI'll be back to vetting them!

Cicero · 05-17-2008, 09:47 AM

That sounds great Sundae! Super-fun! Of course I destroyed any "good opinion" my husband might have had of me right away. It's more honest, because he still has to deal with me every day....Now his good opinions of me lie outside the bedroom and are more authentic, because he knows I'm a traaamp for my hotty!!!

He thought I was hot, I thought he was super-hot, and we destroyed each others "nice" opinions right away. Killed them I think.......'Tis lucky we are still together after all that action in the beginning......

It was supposed to be a one night stand. I was busy working my ass off, had lost my fiance to death 10 months before, and didn't need anything too intense. Well, this one night stand has lasted almost 3 years now, and 2 consecutive marriages to the same person, without divorce. (lots of heavy fights so far, luckily no big D)

It makes me wonder why people judge women on their bedroom behavior and not men. I mean, if the tables were turned he'd already be the slut for offering you bed time Sundae. Why do guys base their judgements of women on solely one activity and of course, looks? If he asks he isn't a whore, but if you comply you are? Hell, the world works mysteriously, ignore my discussion of double-standards whilst you are still feeling good.....I think it applies because you are still dating however, and I feel compassion for all single people, the social trappings of dates, and perceptions.

The point of all this?
Awesome! Go have some fun for me!!! Oh and tell me about it! Yea!!

xoxoxoBruce · 05-17-2008, 11:43 AM

Quote:

If he asks he isn't a whore, but if you comply you are?

The only people that make that judgement, are the ones who aren't getting any of it.
If the lady says yes to someone else, she's a tramp. If she says yes to me, she's an angel.

05-14-2008, 04:26 PM	#31
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Oh, gawd, Sundae. I hope he doesn't embarrass every American male by doing something stupid like not paying. Course he should pay! but, as a wise woman once said, it's always smart to have taxi fare in your pocket in case he turns out to be a loser. Good LUCK, sweetie! You're looking so foxy fine! I just loved the corset, btw!!! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-14-2008, 05:52 PM	#34
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Thanks for the advice guys. Very good points. However I'd been thinking about it all week and posting here was (probably) just a prelude to going my own sweet way! I did email him. I put it this way "Are you on a budget btw? I am fully expecting to pay my own way, which does influence where we go pricewise, but I'd prefer somewhere with good honest food than a swish place anyway." This was buried in other info re the places recommended to me. One would be way out of my price range anyway. May not have been the most elegant handling of the situation, but now I feel I don't have to worry. In other news (will I ever meet someone and hope he doesn't find this?!) I went for it on the sex with a stranger front. Posted some explicit pics and a message on craigslist. Fifteen minutes and seven replies so far - although I know people only tend to respond to the ones on top of the list anyway. Whoosh! Am all excited! Even if I follow none of them up (set up a gmail account as advised) then I've had the rush of doing it. But I'd prefer the rush of doing it You can find the ad if you want to. Be warned though, it's personal if not exactly private (!) and I'm not up for sharing it with the Cellar. If you go to view it fair enough, but please don't link it. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-14-2008, 06:03 PM	#35
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	So, only one more sleep before the big date huh? did he respond to your email? I say take enough to pay your way and for a taxi if necessary, but if he wants to shout you that'll be nice too. I don't think it means anything if that's what he wants to do. It's up to you how far you go with him. Just keep yourself safe. That's all that really matters. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-14-2008, 06:10 PM	#36
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	No, honestly it's not a date. I'm getting excited because it's dinner and chat and showing off my home city, which I love, to a furriner. And I've gone all girly in the warm weather and am looking forward to dressing up. He'll probably respond tomorrow. I'll keep you up to date. As for the men responding to my ad... Lots! __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-14-2008, 06:14 PM	#37
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	sounds like fun. Almost makes me wish I were single again. lol (I hope my husband doesn't see this. lol) __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-14-2008, 05:27 PM	#33
hampor Colloquialist Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: SiliValley Posts: 75	Dear S.G., If he pays, it night mean he's thinking of it as a "date" date, rather than a mutual arrangement. Make sure that you are both on the same page. You should probably try to pay your half of dinner, and if he insists then you should try at least once more. Or maybe compromise by offering to buy coffee/desert/drinks at the next stage of the evening. Hospitality is a tricky thing, culturally. A Lebanese architect friend of mine was working with some German civil engineers. Work was running late, and one of the engineers offered my friend some cheese and crackers that he had on hand. My friend was very hungry but he declined, since in his culture you always decline the first offer, but the engineer didn't make a second offer. Have fun.

05-14-2008, 09:26 PM	#38
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	good luck, hon, with everything __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-14-2008, 09:48 PM	#39
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Its a great confidence booster huh, Sundae? Sounds like a wonderful way to spend an evening, and at worse case scenario...you get to dress up, wander about and have a nite out. I envy you! have a ball lovely.

05-15-2008, 06:24 AM	#40
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Yea, have fun and relax with it. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

05-15-2008, 08:00 PM	#41
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Well now, he replied to say, "Please don't give a thought to paying on Friday. I'm having a lovely lady go out of her way to show me a nice evening. It would be my honour to show you a nice evening as well." A credit to your country! Which means I don't have to worry about going over budget, yay! But he also wants to eat authentic dim sum, so I'm happy to cross the place I couldn't afford off the list - we'll go into the heart of Chinatown. My dress won't be here on time - it's not being posted til tomorrow But then it's going to be rainy, so probably for the best. Jeans and a pretty top will do it. With platforms to keep my jeans bottoms off the wet pavements of course! Re the *other* ad. It was removed within about 6 hours. No nudity apparently. Coulda fooled me! Still - 30-odd replies before it was. About 10 possibles and 5 likelies. The possibles I need more info, the likelies it's a case of communicating then meeting them and seeing if the spark is there. No spark, no point. The opportunity is fantastic though. I've been completely up front (ahem) so I won't have any hang-ups. Well - I may find some, being me. I should be getting my beauty sleep now. Damn Diet Coke! __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-15-2008, 08:07 PM	#42
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	This is all so exciting SG, I can't wait to hear more... __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

05-17-2008, 09:15 AM	#43
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Met my American boy last night. He represented your country very well. Completely charming, intelligent, funny. He did very courteously offer his bed for the night, with the codicil that he wouldn't promise to let me sleep. But although that made my heart beat faster and gave me a definite tingle, I chose to go home. Probably because he'd been so very flattering I didn't want to spoil his opinion of me! We had Dim Sum in China town - he likes to eat and enjoyed the fact I did too. Then walked for white a way through London, although I managed to take us round in a circle at one point He loves London and it was a pleasure to show it to him. What can I say - a wonderful evening. If he contacts me I will definitely meet up next time he's here - which is another training session in a couple of weeks. I can't promise to be as well behaved in future, but that's his conscience I guess! In other news, I've made plans for next Saturday! It's still a case of meet & see if there's a spark. But it's a plan at least. Two other possibles. I'm not really up for it today (Dylan missing for 48 hours now - been going door-to-door) but I'm sure at some pointI'll be back to vetting them! __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-17-2008, 09:47 AM	#44
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	That sounds great Sundae! Super-fun! Of course I destroyed any "good opinion" my husband might have had of me right away. It's more honest, because he still has to deal with me every day....Now his good opinions of me lie outside the bedroom and are more authentic, because he knows I'm a traaamp for my hotty!!! He thought I was hot, I thought he was super-hot, and we destroyed each others "nice" opinions right away. Killed them I think.......'Tis lucky we are still together after all that action in the beginning...... It was supposed to be a one night stand. I was busy working my ass off, had lost my fiance to death 10 months before, and didn't need anything too intense. Well, this one night stand has lasted almost 3 years now, and 2 consecutive marriages to the same person, without divorce. (lots of heavy fights so far, luckily no big D) It makes me wonder why people judge women on their bedroom behavior and not men. I mean, if the tables were turned he'd already be the slut for offering you bed time Sundae. Why do guys base their judgements of women on solely one activity and of course, looks? If he asks he isn't a whore, but if you comply you are? Hell, the world works mysteriously, ignore my discussion of double-standards whilst you are still feeling good.....I think it applies because you are still dating however, and I feel compassion for all single people, the social trappings of dates, and perceptions. The point of all this? Awesome! Go have some fun for me!!! Oh and tell me about it! Yea!! __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

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