How to get a swim coach to make you their beneficiary?

monster · 07-15-2011, 10:00 PM

Advice please.

Just went to a meet and greet for Hebe's high school swim team at the coaches' house and I want it. So bad. near freeways yet in the middle of a wooded area, so no road noise whatsoever. Huge. Tri? level deck -grill area outside the kitchen, steps down to a landing, then down to (large) in ground pool -with deepend, but also interestingly-shaped, (underwater lighting), and hot tub, and then another deck with vintage coolers filled with adult beverages, picnic tabes, and yard closets with more pool equipment/luxuries than I could dream of, then steps down do a large grassed and landscaped backyard surrounded by woodland. Smack bang almost in the middle of Ann Arbor.

Want.

monster · 07-15-2011, 10:01 PM

I don't want to inherit the dog, though....

infinite monkey · 07-15-2011, 11:16 PM

Buy a dog suit, 'Take care' of the dog. Take dog's place. You're in, but you'll have to eat a bit of kibble.

monster · 07-16-2011, 05:54 AM

It's a plan...

Clodfobble · 07-16-2011, 10:26 AM

How does a high school teacher earn enough for that house? His wife must be the one with the moolah. SO!

1.) Become a lesbian.
2.) Seduce wife, convince her to leave swim coach husband for you.
3.) As the woman, she gets the house/kids in the divorce, he gets the dog.
4.) She writes you into her will.
5.) Kill her.
6.) Beest brings the kids and you live in your new house.

monster · 07-16-2011, 02:09 PM

Shame on you, Ms Fobble. The swim coach is female.

monster · 07-16-2011, 02:12 PM

...and this is not her only coaching job .....and her husband is also a very successful swimmer/swim coach. I guess I need to improve my stroking

Clodfobble · 07-16-2011, 05:33 PM

Yeah well, my sexism got balanced out with step number 3 anyway.

richlevy · 07-17-2011, 08:43 AM

Women seeking Women

Woman seeks lesbian with large and tastefully appointed house for long term and meaningful relationship. Please include picture of house.

Pico and ME · 07-20-2011, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

...and this is not her only coaching job .....and her husband is also a very successful swimmer/swim coach. I guess I need to improve my stroking

What the heck - Did they inherit money?

07-15-2011, 10:00 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	How to get a swim coach to make you their beneficiary? Advice please. Just went to a meet and greet for Hebe's high school swim team at the coaches' house and I want it. So bad. near freeways yet in the middle of a wooded area, so no road noise whatsoever. Huge. Tri? level deck -grill area outside the kitchen, steps down to a landing, then down to (large) in ground pool -with deepend, but also interestingly-shaped, (underwater lighting), and hot tub, and then another deck with vintage coolers filled with adult beverages, picnic tabes, and yard closets with more pool equipment/luxuries than I could dream of, then steps down do a large grassed and landscaped backyard surrounded by woodland. Smack bang almost in the middle of Ann Arbor. Want. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-15-2011, 10:01 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I don't want to inherit the dog, though.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-16-2011, 05:54 AM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	It's a plan... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-16-2011, 10:26 AM	#5
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	How does a high school teacher earn enough for that house? His wife must be the one with the moolah. SO! 1.) Become a lesbian. 2.) Seduce wife, convince her to leave swim coach husband for you. 3.) As the woman, she gets the house/kids in the divorce, he gets the dog. 4.) She writes you into her will. 5.) Kill her. 6.) Beest brings the kids and you live in your new house. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-16-2011, 02:09 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Shame on you, Ms Fobble. The swim coach is female. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-15-2011, 11:16 PM	#3
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Buy a dog suit, 'Take care' of the dog. Take dog's place. You're in, but you'll have to eat a bit of kibble.

07-16-2011, 02:12 PM	#7
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	...and this is not her only coaching job .....and her husband is also a very successful swimmer/swim coach. I guess I need to improve my stroking __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-16-2011, 05:33 PM	#8
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Yeah well, my sexism got balanced out with step number 3 anyway. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-17-2011, 08:43 AM	#9
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	Women seeking Women Woman seeks lesbian with large and tastefully appointed house for long term and meaningful relationship. Please include picture of house. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)