Body Language - Page 2

piercehawkeye45 · 05-04-2009, 08:38 PM

It could mean many things. I would maybe start paying attention to other indicators since judging a person solely based on a single body language could easily backfire.

Maybe watch how enthusiastic he is with your conversations. That is the main indicator that I look at when talking to someone to see if they are interested or not, but also keep in mind that this is not a guarantee either and my personal judgments with this have backfired on me in the past as well.

monster · 05-04-2009, 10:26 PM

Or you could just live with it. Men just aren't as well atuned to this stuff (or something

). beest and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks, we've been together for nearly 20 years, but I still often think he's pissed or not paying attention when he isn't/is..... I've just leaned to ask him if he's pissed or just exercising his eybrows/right to silence/right to be off with the fairies....

Aliantha · 05-04-2009, 10:31 PM

Maybe he has ADD and just gets distracted?

I'd probably just raise the subject if it were me. In fact, not specifically body language, but due to my husbands difficult childhood, he missed out on learning quite a lot of the normal social cues most people pick up naturally. They're mostly the sort of cues that occur in a relationship between two people so we regularly talk about stuff that he just doesn't get. Not so much these days, but earlier on in our relationship.

Anyway, that's my 1.63 cents worth too.

classicman · 05-04-2009, 10:35 PM

I think its great that you can communicate about those types of things as (a) couple(s). Its awesome that you both can share in that and work together towards a resolution without it getting bloody

Aliantha · 05-04-2009, 10:49 PM

It might get bloody tonight if I don't hurry up and think of something nice to say. lol

classicman · 05-04-2009, 10:54 PM

Try - "have you been workin out? You're lookin awfully sexy." Then give him a wink or two before falling asleep. lol

Aliantha · 05-04-2009, 10:57 PM

lol...although I can see the humour in that one, I don't think it'll work in this instance. I'm thinking something simple like, "I'm sorry I was a bitch" might be the best way to go. I just really hate having to admit it was my fault. *sighs*

monster · 05-04-2009, 11:00 PM

Ali, go for "When he was all cleaned up he looked just like you."..... you won't need to bother with anything after that

classicman · 05-04-2009, 11:01 PM

Good! go with that. Its much better than my suggestion anyway.

Aliantha · 05-04-2009, 11:02 PM

Hmmm...that has some merit too. lol But kind of missing the point of making up for being a trog. Maybe I could do both.

classicman · 05-04-2009, 11:06 PM

you could always "accidentally" call Max - lil dazza... it'll be all forg....what?

xoxoxoBruce · 05-05-2009, 12:33 AM

Body language... language... does everybody speak the same language? Probably not.

If you feel he's not paying attention, maybe it's because he's secure enough in the relationship to not act like it's the first date all the time.

daff0dil · 05-05-2009, 01:23 AM

eh
I've just decided to turn the other way myself

and take my shirt off.

jinx · 05-05-2009, 11:04 AM

I would make a game of seeing how far I away I could get before he noticed. His challenge could be figuring out how to get home once you've left with the car...

Meursault · 05-05-2009, 12:09 PM

lmao. you're all heart jinx.

ali: there's never any substitute for a straight-up acknowledgement of bad behavior imo. if i'v only been a little out of line i may make fun of myself if i recognise it immediately, and if i only get around to it later i like to apologise seriously and directly, say thanks for any acceptance, and then move directly on to something cheerful. i try to accept apologies totally and immediately too(tho not if it's over something that's been clogging the air between us for a month, or something that's been apologised for before and then repeated --in this sort of case their willingness to let it fester detracts from any perception of sincerity for me). i find it troublesome if someone wants to re-hash every little thing after getting an apology, but never as troublesome as seeing someone want to either a) act like nothing happened, or b) try to buy their way out of an acknowledgement with favors. this last thing leaves mental detritus behind to trip over later, to become the foundation of resentments. consistent non-acknowledgement makes me think i'm dealing with a fearful and dishonest person eventually, and pretty much ruins a relationship for me.
of course, ideally, there's rarely any wrong to acknowledge.

just another person's 2 cents.....

05-04-2009, 08:38 PM	#16
piercehawkeye45 Franklin Pierce Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,695	It could mean many things. I would maybe start paying attention to other indicators since judging a person solely based on a single body language could easily backfire. Maybe watch how enthusiastic he is with your conversations. That is the main indicator that I look at when talking to someone to see if they are interested or not, but also keep in mind that this is not a guarantee either and my personal judgments with this have backfired on me in the past as well. __________________ I like my perspectives like I like my baseball caps: one size fits all.

05-04-2009, 10:26 PM	#17
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Or you could just live with it. Men just aren't as well atuned to this stuff (or something ). beest and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks, we've been together for nearly 20 years, but I still often think he's pissed or not paying attention when he isn't/is..... I've just leaned to ask him if he's pissed or just exercising his eybrows/right to silence/right to be off with the fairies.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-04-2009, 10:31 PM	#18
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Maybe he has ADD and just gets distracted? I'd probably just raise the subject if it were me. In fact, not specifically body language, but due to my husbands difficult childhood, he missed out on learning quite a lot of the normal social cues most people pick up naturally. They're mostly the sort of cues that occur in a relationship between two people so we regularly talk about stuff that he just doesn't get. Not so much these days, but earlier on in our relationship. Anyway, that's my 1.63 cents worth too. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-04-2009, 10:35 PM	#19
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	I think its great that you can communicate about those types of things as (a) couple(s). Its awesome that you both can share in that and work together towards a resolution without it getting bloody __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-04-2009, 10:49 PM	#20
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	It might get bloody tonight if I don't hurry up and think of something nice to say. lol __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-04-2009, 10:54 PM	#21
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Try - "have you been workin out? You're lookin awfully sexy." Then give him a wink or two before falling asleep. lol __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-04-2009, 10:57 PM	#22
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	lol...although I can see the humour in that one, I don't think it'll work in this instance. I'm thinking something simple like, "I'm sorry I was a bitch" might be the best way to go. I just really hate having to admit it was my fault. sighs __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-04-2009, 11:00 PM	#23
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Ali, go for "When he was all cleaned up he looked just like you."..... you won't need to bother with anything after that __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-04-2009, 11:01 PM	#24
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Good! go with that. Its much better than my suggestion anyway. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-04-2009, 11:02 PM	#25
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Hmmm...that has some merit too. lol But kind of missing the point of making up for being a trog. Maybe I could do both. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-04-2009, 11:06 PM	#26
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	you could always "accidentally" call Max - lil dazza... it'll be all forg....what? __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-05-2009, 12:33 AM	#27
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Body language... language... does everybody speak the same language? Probably not. If you feel he's not paying attention, maybe it's because he's secure enough in the relationship to not act like it's the first date all the time. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-05-2009, 01:23 AM	#28
daff0dil Profitable Prophet Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 30	eh I've just decided to turn the other way myself and take my shirt off.

05-05-2009, 11:04 AM	#29
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	I would make a game of seeing how far I away I could get before he noticed. His challenge could be figuring out how to get home once you've left with the car... __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

05-05-2009, 12:09 PM	#30
Meursault Cantankerous Incantonator Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: n tx Posts: 56	lmao. you're all heart jinx. ali: there's never any substitute for a straight-up acknowledgement of bad behavior imo. if i'v only been a little out of line i may make fun of myself if i recognise it immediately, and if i only get around to it later i like to apologise seriously and directly, say thanks for any acceptance, and then move directly on to something cheerful. i try to accept apologies totally and immediately too(tho not if it's over something that's been clogging the air between us for a month, or something that's been apologised for before and then repeated --in this sort of case their willingness to let it fester detracts from any perception of sincerity for me). i find it troublesome if someone wants to re-hash every little thing after getting an apology, but never as troublesome as seeing someone want to either a) act like nothing happened, or b) try to buy their way out of an acknowledgement with favors. this last thing leaves mental detritus behind to trip over later, to become the foundation of resentments. consistent non-acknowledgement makes me think i'm dealing with a fearful and dishonest person eventually, and pretty much ruins a relationship for me. of course, ideally, there's rarely any wrong to acknowledge. just another person's 2 cents..... __________________ Please exercise caution --costume mask and chest plate are not protective; cape does not enable wearer to fly.

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