Fucking Hell

[infinite monkey]

I take that personally. I know that people think i should have done more, being so close. But my story could have ended this way too. I don't have the ability to swoop in and help, like some friends can do. I tried to get her to call me for lunch, and days pass ans
D i'm so caught up in keeping myself going.

I am wracked with guilt so if we want to blame the cellar for inaction blame me.

We all deal differntly. But we're all hurting. I am sorry.

[DanaC]

Don't try and carry the weight of this honey. It's too heavy and it isn't your burden to shoulder.

[Pico and ME]

I failed in my attempt and lived to see some measure of happiness later on. I will never try again, because I have finally learned that all things change..especially the feeling of hopelessness that causes such misery. Infi, as you struggle, remember this.

And, Im sorry that my post is causing you pain..just know that I share it even though
Bri never counted me as one of her friends. I, more than you, saw what was happening.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

I am wracked with guilt so if we want to blame the cellar for inaction blame me.

No.

You are not to blame, and neither is the Cellar. This sucks and is horrible, but blame doesn't enter in to it.

[Pico and ME]

Reread her posts and learn. You may someday see the same signs in someone close to you. Had someone seen mine and acted, I may never had tried in the first place.

[classicman]

Bullshit. IF you "saw" things and didn't act, thats on YOU.
Don't think that just because you apparently saw things that everyone else did. What makes you think I, or MOST others here would recognize the signs... whatever.

Your, yes specifically you Pico, shitty attitude is why I haven't been around here much as of late. And to trot this BS out almost immediately after we find out? WTF?

As for rereading her posts, I actually did some of that last night. Still nothing I don't see and hear on an almost daily basis from others who complain about life without contemplating offing themselves...which we don't know about anyway. It could have been an aneurism or an accident or or or... not that if fucking matters. Grrrrrrrr.
Way to fucking really shit on those here hurting the most. What a selfish thoughtless bitch you are. I'm O.U.T. out of this thread.

[Undertoad]

We did our part Pico. We provided an environment full of friends. When her laptop died, xoB bought her another so that she could stay with us. When she was in pain, people called her and spoke with her at length.

We are not mind-readers: we can't interpret secret signals over the Internet.

We are not psychologists: we can't provide the kind of clinical support she needed.

We were all that we needed to be: friends.

[Pico and ME]

Classic, you are right.

UT, so are you.

Im out of step and no one needs to put me on ignore because I will stop posting on the Cellar.

IM....My posting was not in the least bit directed at you.

I feel awful at Claudettes passing and will bear a lingering guilt that I didnt not know her better to help her, if she, indeed, did do this to herself.

[Jaydaan]

I'm not sure stoping posting is the way to go, that sounds a like martyrdom to me. I would suggest, as we all should, is think before we type. If you did see signs, and looking back I *might* have seen some now.... Then you eaither do something or don't. But DON"T assume the entire community knew she was going to remove herself from this world ( if this is what happened, as we have no details yet). As people all greive differently, you upset a lot of people by a string of posts, that honestly ended up being about your attempt to leave this world, and not about Claudette. Her *KIDS* posted from her account, to let us know. That means, her *LOVED ONES* may read these posts. What a huge slap in the face to them, and her freinds. If it was suicide, that was her deciding she had no other option. We can look back and say all kind of things, but honestly, whether it was mental illness, or a slew of other things, one thing is clear. She is gone, the community that respected her, and her family that loved her are hurting.

I hardly get involved, but from someone that had dealt with depression before to pick on someone who has passed infuriates me. Would you want others to talk about you this way, if you had suceeded years ago?

[DanaC]

Emotions are fraught and this sort of thing hits everyone's buttons.

Pico, don't stop posting. That's silly. You belong here as much as we all do.

As to spotting signs and acting or not. I think a lot of us did spot signs. That she was in distress and that she was at risk of harming herself in some way, whether by design or accident. But we've also been down that road with her before. There was no reason to think this time it would actually end this way. Nonetheless, some of us did try to reach out and support her in the ways we could. And I do believe we were a help to her at times.

This is a terrible and tragic thing. Let's not fall out and add to the misery. Nor should anybody be casting blame, or accepting it.

[Nirvana]

Pico no matter what happened you may not control the world, you only live in it.

Whatever happened to Trilby has nothing to do with any of us here. She came here for support and she got it. She was a gentle soul and it was all too much for her.

[footfootfoot]

Hindsight
Hindsight
Hindsight

Woulda
Coulda
Shoulda

Not the sort of stuff endorsed by Claudette. Practiced? Sure, but she knew it lead nowhere.

[glatt]

The problem with an online community is that we can't give each other hugs. When someone dies, the survivors are supposed to comfort one another and hug.

*hugs*

[DanaC]

It's all too easy to let guilt settle in after something like this. i know I've been going through stuff I said, or didn't say. Adding to the pressure of the new pup for instance. But it's misplaced. It's natural, in the circumstances but it doesn't help anybody.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by glatt

The problem with an online community is that we can't give each other hugs. When someone dies, the survivors are supposed to comfort one another and hug.

*hugs*

*hugs*