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Old 01-04-2019, 04:25 PM   #1
monster
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Thick as two short planks

sayings for being a bit stupid..... go

(copy list and add....)

Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load



I'm deliberately not adding the one about the bus of diminutive stature because I despise that.
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Old 01-04-2019, 05:45 PM   #2
fargon
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But I'm just that special.
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Old 01-05-2019, 03:16 AM   #3
Carruthers
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Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load

and...

Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.
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Last edited by Carruthers; 01-05-2019 at 03:26 AM.
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Old 01-05-2019, 10:48 AM   #4
monster
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Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load
Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.

------adding------
Not Firing on all cylinders
Lights are on but nobody's home

I read somewhere that there is a British/American difference in slang in that Brits have more euphemisms for bodily functions and activities than Americans, and American have more terms for killing and money. From what I've seen, I can believe this. I wonder if stupidity is also a more British thing to call by another name? The short bus was really the only one I've learned since I moved here I could think of :/ But I didn't grown up here and I would imagine one must learn many of these from one's parents and peers because they are social devices and not used in professional publications or speech. Or perhaps I just hang with the wrong people?
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Old 01-05-2019, 11:36 AM   #5
monster
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Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load
Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.
Not Firing on all cylinders
Lights are on but nobody's home

---adding---
Not playing with a full deck
Not the brightest bulb on the porch**

**I think this one is American, I came across it while googling for the origin of the previous one, but I think I have heard it used a few times since I've been here



and here's some more musing on the possibility of a Brit/Yank difference that I came up with whilst composing a Facebook post to ask for help from American Friends which I then used to bully myself out of for the sake of not causing possible offence....


There could be an element that referring to people's possibly less than optimal cognitive ability could be considered discriminatory, which is something society is more careful about now than it was when i lived in the UK, so people in both continents are less likely to use these terms now, and I'm less likely to have heard them in America as this is where I've been more recently.
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Old 01-05-2019, 12:12 PM   #6
Gravdigr
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Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load
Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.
Not Firing on all cylinders
Lights are on but nobody's home
Not playing with a full deck
Not the brightest bulb on the porch

Adding:

An ace shy of a straight
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top
Thick as a brick
Dumber than a bag of of hammers
Duller than a bag of wet mice
His cheese done slid off his cracker
Ain't got the sense God gave a dill pickle (you can substitute 'goose' for 'dill pickle')
So dumb he don't know beans from taters
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Old 01-05-2019, 01:55 PM   #7
monster
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it occurred to me not all of these are actually euphemisms e.g. "Dumber than a box of rocks") but they are still interesting, although I prefer the straight-up euphemisms. Carry on
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Old 01-05-2019, 03:21 PM   #8
lumberjim
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sharp as a bowling ball
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Old 01-05-2019, 04:37 PM   #9
sexobon
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From the military, any military:

A few rounds short of a full magazine.
Prone to malfunctions of the brain housing group.
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Old 01-05-2019, 06:52 PM   #10
monster
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those have a lot of syllables!

when we move to making our own:
A syllable short of a military euphemism

Cellar-specific:
a dead hobo without a fish
a tw short of a politics forum
more lol than haggis
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Old 01-06-2019, 07:28 AM   #11
fargon
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I don't know if this is the place for this,from my youth.

Clutch to Mouth Overrides Cable to Brain
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Old 01-06-2019, 12:55 PM   #12
Gravdigr
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PEBKAC?

ID 10 T?
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