Afraid of love??...or unloveable???

[pensive pam]

I do not know whether I am afraid of love, and therefore make an excuse to make me believe that I am unloveable...so I can not get involved in love.

All of us know that everybody always laughs at love, but I can not help that they want to be proven wrong...perhaps like me?? So do I view myself of being afraid of that 'special' bond, or do I hide behind a histrionic personality??? But then again, I would not be me if I did not do it, and act in that manner.

I am the type of girl that will walk away from you, but yet turn around after you are gone...and secretly follow you back home. And you will wonder why I left you. But I can not tell you because I do not know myself...

At times, I feel that the only reason someone would want me is because they know I will leave them. It's in my nature to do so...
And at times, I wonder who I have become, and if things will ever get better...

What are your thoughts,???
Pam.