Weird News

[infinite monkey]

Originally Posted by glatt

The bride doesn't look too happy, and the groom's left arm is like 6 feet long to reach around her waist like that.

She can't escape the long arm of her Pa.

(Only, I don't think that's her Pa.)

[GunMaster357]

Hugo Chavez says that capitalism killed life on Mars.

[TheMercenary]

Now go make me some Fat Ho Burgers! I wish they would open one in down town Atlanta.

http://tv.gawker.com/#!5785756/texas...-the-neighbors

[Flint]

Fat Ho burgers is on the local news, here. I'll bet those burgers are damn good.

[infinite monkey]

Ambulance chasing at its most reprehensible:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/03/28/new...x.html?hpt=T2#

A controversial 9/11 ad with an altered picture of a model firefighter holding a picture of the aftermath of the World Trade Center attack under the headline "I was there" will not be running again, according to the ad agency responsible for the ad.

Robert Keiley, the model in the ad, is a firefighter with the New York City Fire Department, said John Barker, president of the ad agency Barker DZP. However, Keiley was not at ground zero right after the 9/11 attacks and did not become a firefighter with the department until 2004.

"The intent of the ad is a positive one," Barker said. "The ad was designed to tell people that there are funds available for people that were injured at ground zero."

The ad was for Worby Groner Edelman & Napoli Bern, a law firm known for representing injury-claim cases.

[Gravdigr]

Regina's parents said: "No, you can't have a pony."

Regina said: "Fuck you. I have Luna."

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

Hugo Chavez says that capitalism killed life on Mars.

[infinite monkey]

Charlie Sheen wants to trademark 22 of his catchphrases.

Sheen's rep confirms to CNN that the former "Two and a Half Men" star is looking to trademark 22 of the catchphrases he has made famous during his recent rants.

Besides "Duh, Winning," Sheen has also registered such gems as "Vatican Assassin,” “Tiger Blood,” “Rock Star From Mars,” and “I’m Not Bi-Polar, I’m Bi-Winning,” reports Entertainment Weekly.

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04...hrases/?hpt=T2

Come on, can I trademark carpal diem, or he's a big poopyhead? And I'm about 90% sure I coined cool beans in the 80s.

Gotta love the guy. He just doesn't give a tiger shit.

[infinite monkey]

Yeah, I made that up. I want that on the record, just in case trademarking phrases catches on.

Many of you remember when the Solid Rock (irony not intended, I'm sure) Church's monstrosity Jebus burnt to the ground. Well, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.

But would you just look at that? Jebus is all casual and stuff. I wonder if they're going to make this one out of matches and flint and gas cans, too.


http://www.whiotv.com/news/27449792/detail.html

[henry quirk]

"We have the technology."


We have 'blowjobs': to the left, to the right, smack-dab in the center.

'Blowjobs' above and below, in front and behind.

'Blowjobs' for you and me and him and her.

A 'blowjob' in every pot, a 'blowjob' in every garage.

Fat 'blowjobs'...thin 'blowjobs'...black 'blowjobs'...white 'blowjobs'.

'Blowjobs' for the young and old, alike.

'Blowjobs'

[infinite monkey]

Your nuts. (Misspelling intended. Sic.)

[monster]

Give your loved one something different for Easter... everyone loves a Ho Card


Pittsburgh Prostitutes accept gift cards


Wonder if I can use this to promote my Scrip program for the school?

[Gravdigr]

from Yahoo! News

Deer stands guard over goose nest in cemetery

By Neale Gulley – 1 hr 14 mins ago

BUFFALO, New York (Reuters) – A deer has been standing watch for several days over a female goose nesting in a city cemetery, a scene normally reserved for a children's movie.

"People always want to turn it into a Disney story and in this case it's not far off," said Gina Browning, director of the Erie County SPCA.

For at least four days, the buck stood guard near the nest of a Canada goose as she sits on her eggs inside a large urn at Forest Lawn cemetery, home to the remains of President Millard Fillmore and rock icon Rick James.

"He does appear to be guarding the goose, as it were," Erie County SPCA Wildlife Administrator Joel Thomas said. "He's within touching distance of her -- there's no doubt what's going on."

The deer, which he said looks like a buck that has shed its antlers, has not strayed from his post.

Employees at the cemetery were alerted to the situation after the animal positioned itself between the bird and an employee of a company that traps and relocates geese, which Thomas said have become a messy problem in large numbers.

"When he approached the bird with a net, the deer puts itself between him and the bird, and he's repeated that behavior for some time," he said.

Typically positioning himself broadside to any car or passerby who comes near the nest, the deer stares intently until the potential aggressor moves on, he said.

Why exactly the deer has chosen to champion a bird of a different feather is a complicated question, Thomas said. While interdependence among species in the wild is not unheard of, Thomas said whatever is causing this animal kingdom alliance is anybody's guess.

"From a human standpoint we can fill in a lot of blanks but it doesn't mean we're right," he said. "Does he know she's nesting? I don't know. Is he going to leave when the chicks hatch? I don't know."

One thing is clear: It could go on for some time.

The gestation period for a Canada goose is up to 31 days, Thomas said, with the nesting season only just beginning. While normally both the male and female share the task of keeping the eggs warm, the expectant mother at Forest Lawn appears not to have that luxury.

"If the deer is determined, he's going to be on the job for at least three weeks," Thomas said.

Devotion rather than emotion seems to be driving the buck.

"The deer and the goose are not in love," Thomas said.

(Editing by Barbara Goldberg and Jerry Norton)

[Trilby]

"The deer and goose are not in love,"

How do they know?

[footfootfoot]

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

(Be quiet, big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)

I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lyin' there
So don't you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you'll wait a long time

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you'll wait a long time

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made, ooh

I'm not in love, I'm not in love...