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Relationships People who need people; or, why can't we all just get along? |
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06-02-2006, 12:13 AM | #31 | |
Master of the Domain
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06-02-2006, 08:04 PM | #32 |
The future is unwritten
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You know, I wonder too;
Why do women need to hear those things men don't?
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
06-03-2006, 02:17 PM | #33 | |
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06-03-2006, 02:30 PM | #34 | |
The future is unwritten
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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06-03-2006, 10:27 PM | #35 | |
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06-03-2006, 10:30 PM | #36 | |
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Ironic in this thread. My wife and I talked about this... she said that she would hate it if I still played the "games of dating still" she much prefers to know me as I really am and how I truly feel. Her "friend, lover and true companion" not some guy "trying to impress her". Guess she grew out of the neediness. I'm very fortunate. Last edited by rkzenrage; 06-03-2006 at 10:33 PM. |
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06-04-2006, 05:36 PM | #37 |
The future is unwritten
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That tells me goldencomfort1968 is not interested in the truth. She just wants to whine about men. Pity.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
06-05-2006, 07:49 AM | #38 |
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I share more of how I actually feel with my current SO than I ever did with my ex. My current SO appreciates my openness and honesty a great deal. Me? I feel akward telling her a lot of how I feel and it used to make me feel somewhat "less a man" at first and now I fel more empowered and free knowing that I can express my emotions without repercussions, being looked down upon, or less "manly". Thats my biggest gripe - that men apparently aren't supposed to behave a certain way and then we are judged negatively for doing so.
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06-05-2006, 11:31 AM | #39 | |
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For instance...and a small example...last summer I had to have an emergency appendectomy. I had surgery late at night and was released late the following day. My husband stayed the night with me in a recliner next to my hospital bed. That was so sweet and caring of him. I really felt truly loved. He stopped at the pharmacy on our way home so he could pick up my prescriptions, etc. He helped get me settled and took good care of me for a couple days. This was over the weekend because my surgery was on a Thursday night and I was released Friday late afternoon. Then when he went back to work everything changed. He got a horrible attitude. Under Dr's orders, I couldn't drive for a week. I was instructed to move around as much as possible but to be sure not to overdue it or I would aggrivate everything and end up back in surgery. So, I made a dinner with what I had on hand at home and with that we were able to have leftovers for a couple days. One evening I made something different out of the leftovers so that he could just warm it up when he got home late from having to put in some extra hours at work. When he got home, he looked in the fridge disguisted. Stormed out of the house with barely saying a word. Meanwhile I'm left there wondering what was wrong and what I had done. He comes back home in a few minutes with all the makings for pizza. And at 8:00 at night he started making pizza. Never once did he ask if I was doing OK, if we needed anything because he was going to the store, or if I had dinner yet. I was very hurt and upset and trying to get well on top of all of this. He couldn't understand why I was so upset. I tried to explain to him and asked why he didn't eat what I had already made for him and he yelled at me (his wife...a few days into recovering from surgery) and said "I've had chicken ALL WEEK!!" Even though I had put the effort out to make it into something different when I didn't feel well. So, yes...I guess I'm still a little bitter about that and other times he's hurt my feelings. Maybe I am complaining....I feel I have that right. And NO this incident I just described isn't the only one...It's just an example of many that have occured lately. There was another time after I came home from the hospital following a bout with kidney stones that he just left me to fend for myself. Yet, when he had hernia surgery, I was there for him (yes, because I wanted to be there for him) and made sure he had whatever he needed. |
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06-05-2006, 12:48 PM | #40 |
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I agree with you, this is wrong, but as far removed from romance as the problem as something can be.
This is a common courtesy/caring issue... wayyyy beyond lack of communication. We learned long ago, those whom it is easiest to forget to be polite to are those you need to be the most polite to, the most often. An excuse me for a burp in bed goes a LONG damn way. Please pardon me for saying so, but it is time for marriage counseling... trust me, I know. The other side of this is... what do you think you can do to make him understand how he is making you feel? Obviously other than telling him without guilt trips, yelling or crying. |
06-05-2006, 10:13 PM | #41 | |
The future is unwritten
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I realize that's a broad brush and there are exceptions, BUT, I've seen it happen so much, to me and others, I firmly believe it. I've had statements I supposedly made, quoted to me out of context, 22 fucking years later.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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06-06-2006, 06:04 AM | #42 | |
in the Hour of Scampering
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Oh, the other possible outcome of sucessful communication is homicde. Biut that's rarer :-).
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"Neither can his Mind be thought to be in Tune,whose words do jarre; nor his reason In frame, whose sentence is preposterous..." |
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06-07-2006, 04:38 AM | #43 |
erika
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I agree with bruce, that is one problem I have had often... things thrown at me that I had completely forgotten had even happened.
Maybe it's his job that's the problem? He sounds like his job has him waaay too high-strung, he needs to mellow ouuuutttt...
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06-07-2006, 08:39 PM | #44 | |
The future is unwritten
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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06-07-2006, 11:50 PM | #45 | ||
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Once an apology has been accepted, the deed is dead, period, end of story. If someone throws something up in my face that they have accepted an apology for it is a game and is to be treated as such, nothing more. Also, I said something earlier "how he makes you feel"... that is a figure of speech. No one can "make" anyone feel anything, ever. How one chooses to accept/take something dictates how they feel about what is said. It is choice, always. Quote:
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