a video for you

Lola Bunny · 10-10-2011, 11:20 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa_cw...layer_embedded

Sorry, posted a link cuz i forgot how to post w/out linking and i'm too lazy to search instructions cuz i'm so tired and need to get to bed. I just saw this and wanted to post it up. It made me feel bad because I'm too impatient with my mom and get upset w/ her easily. I have to start treating her better.

classicman · 10-10-2011, 11:44 PM

Here ya go LB.

classicman · 10-10-2011, 11:48 PM

Now that I watched that ... :'(

Trilby · 10-11-2011, 05:59 AM

Sigh.

I need to have more patience with my mom. She's lost her short term memory and it is frustrating.

BigV · 10-11-2011, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

Sigh.

I need to have more patience with my mom. She's lost her short term memory and it is frustrating.

Yeah... It probably sucks for you too, Brianna. Have strength.

BigV · 10-11-2011, 10:04 AM

Thanks Lola. What a great thread, and a great message. I applaud you. Now, I think I'm done for the day. Gonna go see my Mom.

Sundae · 10-11-2011, 10:07 AM

Didn't like it.
I was bothered by the soundtrack and the fact it wasn't proof-read.
And also by the fact that my Mum has been making comments to my Dad for years about his aging (calling him deaf, slow, boring etc) so I can't see this as a letter from her OR him.

Still, I have nothing against it.
And if it touches people here that's a good thing.

BigV · 10-11-2011, 10:40 AM

How does it resonate if you imagine your Granddad as the speaker?

Sundae · 10-11-2011, 10:51 AM

It doesn't, really.

I'm not trying to be obtuse, but we looked after him and loved him as well as we could, as flawed human beings ourselves.

Mum has been far gentler with Grandad and his infirmities than she ever has been with Dad. I saw that she worked hard for him and how much she cared. And how she made time for all the little things - listening, cheering him up, making him lunch he liked, doing all his washing and ironing even when he had "accidents". And then the bigger things - seeing him every day in hospital, spoon-feeding him, holding his hand, massaging his feet, talking talking talking about the old times and hoping some is getting through and comforting him.

Grandad did not need to write that letter to Mum. She's not perfect, but on the occasions she called him a stupid old git or a moaning bastard it was only behind our closed front door

The next day she was back looking after him in his house or the hospital or the nursing home. Still, if I forwarded it on to her she would feel guilty.

As I say, just because it doesn't fit my experience, doesn't mean I'm denigrating it.

Pete Zicato · 10-11-2011, 10:53 AM

It is well known that I am a softy and have been known to cry at Hallmark commercials.

But this video was sooo obviously trying to pull my heartstrings it had the opposite effect.

anonymous · 10-11-2011, 10:58 AM

its aimed at people who would yell at their elderly parents. enuff said. who acts like that if the parents are as drippy sweet as this video implys. assholes, thats who. Garbage.

BigV · 10-11-2011, 11:07 AM

SG, I didn't get the sense you denigrate it, not at all. And Pete, I'm a well known softy but it pierced my heart. I didn't hear it as a plea from some YouTuber to try to make me feel a certain way, I heard my parent's voice saying those words. That touched me. I also heard my voice saying the same things, should I be so lucky to live so long (I'm already a lot older than my Dad ever was), and that voice scared me.

There's an endless drumbeat about Social Security and save for your own retirement, etc etc. But who will physically tend to me when I'm infirm. My robot monkey maybe... I don't know. You two are among the finest people I know. I don't judge you by your reaction to the video, I don't. I have to say it floored me though. I cried, then at about 1:15 ish I bawled.

It's hard to take care of frail parents. It's hard to take care of kids. It's super hard to take care of both at the same time. But it's also hard to be old, to have things taken away, your vitality, your independence, your control. And for many it is hard *and* lonely. I feel badly mostly from my own guilty conscience. My fault, my problem. I feel for them, too, though.

SamIam · 10-11-2011, 11:37 AM

I guess I'm with Pete. The video touched me at first, but then it went into overkill. I took care of my Dad in his old age and did all I could for him at the time. I so wish it could have been more.

My Mom, on the other hand was much more complicated. She turned very mean in her old age and her character defects were amplified. I did the best I could with her at the time, too, but she was very cruel toward me and just about everyone else except for her dog. I now realize that many of her actions and words were motivated by fear - fear of financial insecurity, fear of aging, fear of death. I wish I could have seen that more clearly at the time, but even if I had, she would have been a very difficult old woman.

monster · 10-12-2011, 10:17 PM

I'm with Sundae and Pete. And then some. What a load of cobblerific "I wanna go viral on youtube" shite. Sorry LB.

monster · 10-12-2011, 10:20 PM

When I'm old and stink, and need help to get about and get stuff done...... employ someone to deal with it so when you visit I'm at my best and we can have fun. And just tell me when I'm boring you -it'll feel just like the good old teenage days.

10-10-2011, 11:20 PM	#1
Lola Bunny Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 2,728	a video for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa_cw...layer_embedded Sorry, posted a link cuz i forgot how to post w/out linking and i'm too lazy to search instructions cuz i'm so tired and need to get to bed. I just saw this and wanted to post it up. It made me feel bad because I'm too impatient with my mom and get upset w/ her easily. I have to start treating her better.

10-10-2011, 11:44 PM	#2
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Here ya go LB. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-10-2011, 11:48 PM	#3
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Now that I watched that ... :'( __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-11-2011, 05:59 AM	#4
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Sigh. I need to have more patience with my mom. She's lost her short term memory and it is frustrating. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-11-2011, 10:04 AM	#6
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Thanks Lola. What a great thread, and a great message. I applaud you. Now, I think I'm done for the day. Gonna go see my Mom. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-11-2011, 10:07 AM	#7
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Didn't like it. I was bothered by the soundtrack and the fact it wasn't proof-read. And also by the fact that my Mum has been making comments to my Dad for years about his aging (calling him deaf, slow, boring etc) so I can't see this as a letter from her OR him. Still, I have nothing against it. And if it touches people here that's a good thing. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac Last edited by Sundae; 10-11-2011 at 10:52 AM. Reason: typo

10-11-2011, 10:40 AM	#8
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	How does it resonate if you imagine your Granddad as the speaker? __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-11-2011, 10:51 AM	#9
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	It doesn't, really. I'm not trying to be obtuse, but we looked after him and loved him as well as we could, as flawed human beings ourselves. Mum has been far gentler with Grandad and his infirmities than she ever has been with Dad. I saw that she worked hard for him and how much she cared. And how she made time for all the little things - listening, cheering him up, making him lunch he liked, doing all his washing and ironing even when he had "accidents". And then the bigger things - seeing him every day in hospital, spoon-feeding him, holding his hand, massaging his feet, talking talking talking about the old times and hoping some is getting through and comforting him. Grandad did not need to write that letter to Mum. She's not perfect, but on the occasions she called him a stupid old git or a moaning bastard it was only behind our closed front door The next day she was back looking after him in his house or the hospital or the nursing home. Still, if I forwarded it on to her she would feel guilty. As I say, just because it doesn't fit my experience, doesn't mean I'm denigrating it. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac Last edited by Sundae; 10-11-2011 at 11:05 AM. Reason: Typo

10-11-2011, 10:53 AM	#10
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	It is well known that I am a softy and have been known to cry at Hallmark commercials. But this video was sooo obviously trying to pull my heartstrings it had the opposite effect. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

10-11-2011, 10:58 AM	#11
anonymous Operations Operative Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: in hiding Posts: 578	its aimed at people who would yell at their elderly parents. enuff said. who acts like that if the parents are as drippy sweet as this video implys. assholes, thats who. Garbage.

10-11-2011, 11:07 AM	#12
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	SG, I didn't get the sense you denigrate it, not at all. And Pete, I'm a well known softy but it pierced my heart. I didn't hear it as a plea from some YouTuber to try to make me feel a certain way, I heard my parent's voice saying those words. That touched me. I also heard my voice saying the same things, should I be so lucky to live so long (I'm already a lot older than my Dad ever was), and that voice scared me. There's an endless drumbeat about Social Security and save for your own retirement, etc etc. But who will physically tend to me when I'm infirm. My robot monkey maybe... I don't know. You two are among the finest people I know. I don't judge you by your reaction to the video, I don't. I have to say it floored me though. I cried, then at about 1:15 ish I bawled. It's hard to take care of frail parents. It's hard to take care of kids. It's super hard to take care of both at the same time. But it's also hard to be old, to have things taken away, your vitality, your independence, your control. And for many it is hard and lonely. I feel badly mostly from my own guilty conscience. My fault, my problem. I feel for them, too, though. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-11-2011, 11:37 AM	#13
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	I guess I'm with Pete. The video touched me at first, but then it went into overkill. I took care of my Dad in his old age and did all I could for him at the time. I so wish it could have been more. My Mom, on the other hand was much more complicated. She turned very mean in her old age and her character defects were amplified. I did the best I could with her at the time, too, but she was very cruel toward me and just about everyone else except for her dog. I now realize that many of her actions and words were motivated by fear - fear of financial insecurity, fear of aging, fear of death. I wish I could have seen that more clearly at the time, but even if I had, she would have been a very difficult old woman.

10-12-2011, 10:17 PM	#14
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I'm with Sundae and Pete. And then some. What a load of cobblerific "I wanna go viral on youtube" shite. Sorry LB. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-12-2011, 10:20 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	When I'm old and stink, and need help to get about and get stuff done...... employ someone to deal with it so when you visit I'm at my best and we can have fun. And just tell me when I'm boring you -it'll feel just like the good old teenage days. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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