Reality after highschool

[Undertoad]

"Bully" video game to be released in October

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Flint

You were a bully bullier?

not really. i merely intervened a time or two when it was obvious that someone was being fucked with. once, a guy named forrest that i had an art class with was being threatened by a guy named matt that i knew. i simply asked matt to lay off of him as a favor (no godfather reference, i swear) and once i was asked by the bullyee to dissuade someone from persecuting them. friend of a friend. no big. i havent actually been in a fight since i was 12 yrs old. talking and silent stares have always sufficed. I'm less of a hammer in real life.

the ironic part is that the guy named forrest wound up being the guy my college g/f cheated on me with. cock.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Brianna

My god, that's beautiful! Did you make that up?

No, that's actually what happened.

[Aliantha]

Some of the kids that came out of highschool the same year I did were ultra successful. I'm talking Olympic Athletes, Barristers, Doctors and Scientists. Kinda daunting when your biggest claim to fame was being in the Australian Youth Orchestra for a few years. I do have some pretty awesome family though and I'm pretty happy with my lot in life, so I reckon things are probably better for me than most. I never got bullied in highschool. Just spent a lot of time wearing shades to protect my eyes from the stars.

[xoxoxoBruce]

The older I get, the more I witness, the more I see the comfort of "fat, dumb & happy".
I see families that make me say to myself, "Damn, what a bunch of inbred hicks", but you know what?....they are usually laughing and having a good time.
That gives me pause. Are people that never heard "Islamo-fascist" or "Gross national Product", to be pitied or envied?

[Sundae]

I wasn't bullied at school, but I was given a hard time by two girls in my class. I was small, skinny, pre-pubescent and prone to daydreaming fits and sudden startling outbursts about a great book I'd just read. Think Anne of Green Gables but less winsome.

They were already teenagers in their heads (we started at 12) into fashion, music and hanging out with boys. They acted as if I were some sort of scientific experiment - not cruelly exactly, just, "Look at that funny thing! What IS it going to come out with next?" They would set me up with bizarre questions to try & make everyone laugh.

Anyway as we went through school I made friends, was on the Athletics Team, had lead parts in school musicals etc etc and was eventually tolerated even by those that didn't like me.

One of the girls came to work at my pub. I'd been there 2 years and all the locals and other barmaids liked me. Suddenly she turns up, knows no-one, never worked in a bar before.... Ha.

I treated her as I would any new member of staff, took her under my wing and looked after her. She wasn't the same street-tough 12-14 year old I'd been scared of. She was a funny, slightly shy 20 year old who was delighted to see a familiar face. And lets face it, I had been an odd child. Helped me lay some ghosts to rest though.

I see families that make me say to myself, "Damn, what a bunch of inbred hicks", but you know what?....they are usually laughing and having a good time.
That gives me pause. Are people that never heard "Islamo-fascist" or "Gross national Product", to be pitied or envied?

I envy them Bruce. I wish I could be half as sure about anything as they seem to be. Even young single Mums on welfare - they never seem to have considered an alternative, they are part of big messy dysfunctional ultimately loving familes, they get by and they don't worry about what's going to happen 20 years from now.

I've never quite worked out whether I am under- or over- educated. I drift along in admin-land working with people who think I'm a cross between Kofi Annan & Andrew Motion, then come on here & feel like Paris Hilton

[DanaC]

Bullying at school....that ol'chestnut.

I was bullied pretty relentlessly through much of my schooldays. I remember two really bad`years when I was ostracised by my entire year. Lunchtimes were the worst. A whole hour sitting in the library or, if I was told to 'go outside and get some fresh air' a whole hour spent sidling around the playground trying not to be noticed. I got beaten up sooo often. My mum practically lived in my head of year's office. It only really stopped in my second to last year when I kicked the living shit out of one of the bullies in the middle of an art class.

The funny thing was, the fight didn't start 'cause she was bullying me. I was used to it. i had seriously bad eczema and spent most of my childhood wrapped up in bandages and eating strange diets. No, this time, she started on my best friend. She had been telling her that she'd kick her head in after school and then came up behind her in the middle of the art class and hit on the back of her head. I was sitting on the stool next to my friend and something snapped.

I jumped off my stool, letting it clatter to the floor behind me and launched myself at the bully ( Vicky, i wont say her surname though you can be damn sure I stilll remember it). As I was railing on her and she was screaming, our teacher ran over and tried to pull me off. Without really knowing what i was doing, I hit backwards at the teacher, lamped her right in the face and continued my assault on Vicky.

When we were both dragged to the headmaster, I swear I saw a smile trying not to show itself. He'd seen me bullied mercilessly for three and a half years, primarily at this girl's instigation. I got two days detention. For the last year and a half of school the 'cool' girls left me the hell alone.

I heard recently that Vicky was in the middle of a very nasty divorce. I was surprised to find that this information didn't please me. The part of me that's forever child hates her with a passion i can barely contain. But the grownup in me knows she was just another fucked up 15yr old.

The other funny thing is, I saw one of her 'gang' about four years ago. We were both around thirty, but she looked so......dowdy, middleaged and ordinary. Her face had the crumpled look of the profoundly disappointed. I remember being so jealous of her confidence. Her confidence in her looks and her sexual power. She always had boys hanging around her. The same boys that would look disgusted if i even shared a classroom with them.

Now, I don't mean to sound vain or arrogant, but i probably will :P I am not dowdy or ordinary looking. Despite the fact that I still look in the mirror sometimes and see the ugly ducking, I am also quite aware that this duckling turned into a swan. I'm tall and slim, with a dancers build. I have high cheekbones and classical features and am blessed through my genes with young skin. It's taken me a long time to be able to see this of myself, though. Just as an anorexic cannot help but see fat where there is none, I have to work not to see the eczema that isn't there any more, the swollen face and the emollient greased hair. All the stuff that made boys not want to touch me til I was at college.

Now, that did feel good. It was something of a guilty pleasure to realise what we'd both grown up into.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by DanaC

As I was railing on her and she was screaming, our teacher ran over and tried to pull me off. Without really knowing what i was doing, I hit backwards at the teacher, lamped her right in the face and continued my assault on Vicky.

Lamped her. God, I do love English.

swoon

[yesman065]

I was picked on much through high school till I snapped once as well. Funny how I haven't thought of this in 20+ years. Anyway, I had taken some self defense courses and learned a trick or two todefend myself. One day in drafting class a bully started on me, got right in my face saying how he was gonna kick my ass so bad and all. Geez his breath was so bad it sent me over the edge. I reached out and grabbed his windpipe with my right hand, squeezing till he stopped, well stopped everything. Then I punched him square in the face and he fell backward hitting his head on the drafting table. Knocked him out cold and broke two fingers. I paraded my splints for weeks - even after I didn't need them anymore.

[9th Engineer]

Pinky and the one beside it? My parents refer to the injury as the 'saturday night fight break' b/c it's common from throwing a haymaker. Hard to do straight on though, damn you must've clocked'im

[limey]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

... biggest claim to fame was being in the Australian Youth Orchestra for a few years.... .

COOL! (No, really!)

[limey]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

.... I drift along in admin-land working with people who think I'm a cross between Kofi Annan & Andrew Motion, then come on here & feel like Paris Hilton

Lovely images!

[breakingnews]

I went to private schools for most of my educatin', so there really wasn't much physical bullying going on. (I did get into a fight once, but with someone from my Boy Scout troop.)

It was, however, a different kind of torment: one of socioeconomic status and race. My NJ hometown is mostly WASPs and Jews. They all live the high-brow country club lifestyle and seem to thrive on local connections and strength in numbers. I remember my classmates being really good at making me and the expanding group of minorities (mostly east asian) not feel a part of things. Very very few bridged the gap; there always seemed to be a line between normal and foreign, which, of course, was an emotionally disturbing experience.

When I was 15, my parents moved back to Taiwan and I agreed to go to boarding school, which was even more "white" and privileged. But without my parents around, I kind of forgot who I was. I wanted nothing more than to be one of the "cool" kids, strutting proudly across campus to a chorus of greetings and taking part in the boisterous, sarcastic banter of impromptu gatherings. I wasted a lot of energy on people who weren't really my friends, spent far too many nights drinking or smoking pot and letting my schoolwork and personal interests fall to the wayside. My efforts were so textbook: picking on my own "nerdy" Asian friends, throwing parties and always going out of my way to procure booze or dope, even letting myself get in a little bit of trouble so I might show that bit of daring edge all the white kids had.

Yet I never quite made it. Just when I'd catch a glimpse of hope and hasten my pace up that social ladder, I'd slam into the glass ceiling. It was really discouraging, and I was too young and naive to know any better. Those guys, the ones who were banging every chick on campus and always got their way because the school would never fuck with losing their parents' donations, they weren't deliberately teasing me, but they were. In short, I had a poor high school experience. I healed some in college, but only now realized what I learned in those four years.

Anyway, at our five-year high school reunion two years ago, to more severe of a degree than I had expected, most of those cool kids had gone nowhere with their lives. Fresh out of Ivy League institutions but unable to forge connections on their own. And those who were doing okay, it was clearly their family ties. I'll list some last names: Hearst, Griswold, Packard. Meanwhile, I proudly said I had moved to NYC on my own (i.e. without mom and dad ponying up for a $1800-per-month midtown studio) and had a high-profile assignment at the world's largest newswire. And just a year out of college. It was quite a relief. I spent 15 minutes chatting at happy hour, and then decided I wanted nothing more to do with these people. I waited for my friends, the ones who weren't staggering to and fro and could still drive themselves home, to finish their rounds, and we went bowling and had a late-night snack at Denny's. What the losers did in high school. But it couldn't have been more triumphant.

[bluecuracao]

Originally Posted by Griff

I had a few beers with a guy that used to bully me in Jr High. He turned out an all right guy, but died tragically. It made me feel better not to be harboring any old anger when it happened.

I also had a bully in Jr. High who ended up in bad straits. Up to that point, I was always a "protector," and then suddenly I was faced with defending myself, which was a tough change, but a good life lesson. I learned shortly after that her mother had been suffering from cancer, and eventually died. She was supposed to go to my high school, but I never saw her again. I still feel sad when I think about her.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by 9th Engineer

Pinky and the one beside it? My parents refer to the injury as the 'saturday night fight break' b/c it's common from throwing a haymaker. Hard to do straight on though, damn you must've clocked'im

AKA boxer's fracture