Weird News - Page 23

ZenGum · 02-07-2009, 06:55 AM

Quote:

A pair of identical twins escaped being convicted and hanged on drugs charges in Malaysia, due to confusion over which one of them was the culprit, reports said Saturday.

ZenGum · 02-09-2009, 08:14 PM

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Jane Austen's classic novel Pride and Prejudice is being updated as a zombie horror book and film.

A parody of the English novel is due to be published in April under the name Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, with Hollywood studios already bidding to turn the new book into a blockbuster movie.

The new book has been penned by Los Angeles-based TV comedy writer Seth Grahame-Smith, who has been able to update Austen's original tale because it is out of copyright.

Austen fans are in for a shock, with heroine Elizabeth Bennet and her four sisters becoming zombie slayers and taught how to fight like Japanese ninjas by Mr Darcy.

"It quickly became obvious that Jane (Austen) had laid down the blueprint for a zombie novel," The Sunday Times quoted Grahame-Smith as saying.

"Why else in the original should a regiment arrive on Lizzie Bennet's doorstep when they should have been off fighting Napoleon?

"It was to protect the family from an invasion of brain-eaters, obviously."

Grahame-Smith said about 85 per cent of his novel is Austen's original text.

"I hated her when I was forced to read Austen in school, but when I started re-reading I realised she was a brutal, but very funny, satirist," he said.

"I can only aspire to be as mean-spirited as she could be."

Aliantha · 02-09-2009, 08:18 PM

Oh it's a sacrilege! How could he???

Cicero · 02-09-2009, 08:26 PM

Wow. I might vomit.

Not that anything is sacred.

Crimson Ghost · 02-09-2009, 11:37 PM

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?

Already been done.

2001 Maniacs

Clodfobble · 02-10-2009, 02:49 PM

At first, I was thinking, "Oh, it's just your standard bad fan fiction, nothing to look twice at," but then I read:

Quote:

Grahame-Smith said about 85 per cent of his novel is Austen's original text.

If you can shoehorn zombies into a text while maintaining an 85% integrity rate on the original... maybe there's more talent here than meets the eye. Or maybe Austen really was secretly writing about zombies.

ZenGum · 02-11-2009, 05:42 AM

Okay, I'd like to see this written into an Austen novel:

Quote:

Sex toys spring up in suburban street

RESIDENTS in the rural area of Darwin have renamed their street "Dildo Boulevard" after 30 sex toys were found lying in front of a house on Friday morning.
Robert Johns and Laurelle Bates discovered the mysterious toys as they left for work in the morning.

"It's a real mystery. We have no idea where they came from," Ms Bates said.

"I know they aren't new. They look used."

Mr Johns said he counted the sex toys on Friday morning, and the number had decreased within 24 hours.

"Yeah, some of the bigger ones are gone," he said.

Many of the devices are still lying outside the Osbeck Rd home - most crushed under the wheels of passing cars.

Locals have been puzzled by their sudden appearance and are trying to solve the curious case of the invading sex toys.

One theory is that it is an elaborate - and expensive - practical joke. Another school of thought is that they fell off the back of a delivery truck.

"I say, Mr Darcy, whatever is that?"
"Sadly, I know not, Miss Bennett, I have never seen the like before."
"To what use do you imagine it might be put, then, Mr Darcy?"

classicman · 02-13-2009, 12:11 PM

Man Calls 911 In Burger Beef

Quote:

FEBRUARY 9--"You cannot dial 911 'cause you're unhappy with your burger." That's what a police operator told a Florida man early Saturday morning when he called 911 to complain about his order at a Burger King in Boynton Beach. As can be heard on the below police recording, Jean Fortune, 66, called 911 when a Burger King employee told him that they did not have lemonade. Fortune told cops that he had placed an order for a #7 combo meal (chicken fries, French fries, and a soda for $4.49) while in the drive-thru line. But when he got to the window, Fortune was told the fast food outlet did not have lemonade. He was offered Coke, but Fortune decided instead to call police. "Sir, come on. I know you don't seriously think that the police need to make Burger King give you food faster. I cannot believe that," said an exasperated 911 operator. She also noted, "Customer service is not a reason to call 911. 911 is if you're dying. Do you understand that?" Fortune was charged with abuse of 911 communications, according the below Boynton Beach Police Department report. Pictured above is the Burger King at which Fortune did not find lemonade.

Audio of actual call available from the link

TheMercenary · 02-14-2009, 08:43 AM

Don't loose your head over this one.

http://www.buffalonews.com/494/story/578644.html

xoxoxoBruce · 02-14-2009, 06:51 PM

She deserved it.

Quote:

Authorities say Aasiya Hassan recently had filed for divorce from her husband.
"She had an order of protection that had him out of the home as of Friday the 6th [of February]," Benz said.

Fuck her, if she wanted out she should have packed up and left.

Crimson Ghost · 02-14-2009, 10:11 PM

.

TheMercenary · 02-14-2009, 10:14 PM

love it.

TheMercenary · 02-20-2009, 08:19 PM

Death by Office Chair? You better watch your ass.

http://i.gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-kil...chair-explodes

classicman · 02-27-2009, 12:31 PM

Bottom reached

Quote:

“Natural living” advocates unveil their latest planet-saving invention - the reusable toilet wipe.

Surely it’s time global warming believers marked their houses with some sign, a green pentangle or something, as a warning to visitors to enter at their own risk.

Read some of the comments.

My favorite -

Quote:

Oh Dear.

From their page on how to use them comes the following tips for washing:

I recommend washing wipes separately from the rest of your laundry. Wash in hot [sic], dry in the dryer. You may add whatever laundry additives you desire - chlorine bleach, oxygen bleach, tea tree oil, lavender oil, stain remover, whatever.

apart from being utterly gross, how eco-friendly are they if you have to tumble dry and bleach them???

From their site -

Quote:

Using cloth wipes for other toilet visits is not any more difficult, but there is a certain ick factor involved. Consider how much waste you're willing to leave on your children's diapers or wipes when you toss them in the pail. Use the same standards for yourself. Shake, scrape, swish, or squirt off anything you don't want in your laundry, and then toss the wipe into the pail or container. (Personally speaking, we just wipe and toss in the pail. Our wipes have minimal staining.)

BigV · 02-28-2009, 11:57 AM

Sounds like about the same ick factor with cloth diapers. Which is moderate, but not unbearable. For pete's sake the baby can handle it.

But I will continue to kill trees one roll at a time, thankyouverymuch.

02-09-2009, 08:14 PM	#332
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Jane Austen's classic novel Pride and Prejudice is being updated as a zombie horror book and film. A parody of the English novel is due to be published in April under the name Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, with Hollywood studios already bidding to turn the new book into a blockbuster movie. The new book has been penned by Los Angeles-based TV comedy writer Seth Grahame-Smith, who has been able to update Austen's original tale because it is out of copyright. Austen fans are in for a shock, with heroine Elizabeth Bennet and her four sisters becoming zombie slayers and taught how to fight like Japanese ninjas by Mr Darcy. "It quickly became obvious that Jane (Austen) had laid down the blueprint for a zombie novel," The Sunday Times quoted Grahame-Smith as saying. "Why else in the original should a regiment arrive on Lizzie Bennet's doorstep when they should have been off fighting Napoleon? "It was to protect the family from an invasion of brain-eaters, obviously." Grahame-Smith said about 85 per cent of his novel is Austen's original text. "I hated her when I was forced to read Austen in school, but when I started re-reading I realised she was a brutal, but very funny, satirist," he said. "I can only aspire to be as mean-spirited as she could be." __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

02-09-2009, 08:18 PM	#333
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Oh it's a sacrilege! How could he??? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

02-09-2009, 08:26 PM	#334
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Wow. I might vomit. Not that anything is sacred. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

02-09-2009, 11:37 PM	#335
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? Already been done. 2001 Maniacs __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

02-14-2009, 08:43 AM	#339
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Don't loose your head over this one. http://www.buffalonews.com/494/story/578644.html __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

02-14-2009, 10:11 PM	#341
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	. Attached Images __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

02-14-2009, 10:14 PM	#342
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	love it. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

02-20-2009, 08:19 PM	#343
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Death by Office Chair? You better watch your ass. http://i.gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-kil...chair-explodes __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

02-28-2009, 11:57 AM	#345
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Sounds like about the same ick factor with cloth diapers. Which is moderate, but not unbearable. For pete's sake the baby can handle it. But I will continue to kill trees one roll at a time, thankyouverymuch. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

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